The House on the Edge of the Park (1980)

One of the things I love the most about films from the other side of the world, particularly Italy, is that most of them come with reputations that have followed them throughout the years. If you’re a die-hard horror fan, you’re totally aware of a little list coming from the United Kingdom called the “British Board of Classification Department of Public Prosecution’s List of Video Nasties” (or “The DPP list” for short), a list of 74 films that were banned overseas for their graphic content and subject matter. If you’re a horror fan, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Some of them are upheld with gusto and others fall flat on their face, depending on your own individual tastes. If you know the list well, you’ll wonder why some of them were even banned since they’re pretty tame, making it obvious that the persons prosecuting said films never took the time to watch them in the first place. 

This particular list has been somewhat of a challenge for horror fans that spend their time – and sometimes, their hard earned money –  to collect every single film on the original list. Some of them are hard to find since they haven’t received proper DVD treatments and collectors sometimes have no choice but to hunt down hard-to-find out-of-print VHS releases. I, myself, have 37 of the 74 films on the list, but only because some of them on the list are either of no interest to me or are so hard to come by that they aren’t worth hunting down.

Growing up in rural Texas in the 80’s, I don’t recall ever seeing this title sitting on the shelf of any grocery store or mom and pop video house. I didn’t even hear about this film until the early turn of the decade just as I’d been starting my collection of Euro-shock films – I didn’t get into collecting them hardcore until about 2004 but I had to start somewhere, did I? I read an article online about it and was immediately fascinated by the film’s concept and knew that I needed to hunt it down. I looked at a few sites over the internet but couldn’t find it – since, at the time it hadn’t been released properly on the DVD in the States – and I found one NTSC VHS version on eBay but it was going for ridiculous money so I passed. About a year and a half later, I was living in Missouri and whilst shopping at a best buy in Independence I picked up a DVD compilation with the title, “Great Horror Classics vol. 8” released by a little company known as Echo Bridge Entertainment. It was being sold at a very low price and the reason I’d picked it up was because it had Don’t Look In The Basement!. As I was at the cash register, I took a look at the list of films on the DVD and I practically shit my pants to read that House on the Edge of the Park was included. So that night, whilst on the graveyard shift at the local Courtyard by Marriott, I finished my work as soon as I could, popped this into my laptop and sat back. And did I mention that the DVD case labeled the film as being uncut and unrated?

The first thing I was treated to after the prologue was a fantastic montage of New York City, Twin Towers and all, with one of – if not the – smoothest and most memorable disco tracks ever to be dubbed onto a horror film. As I said in my reviews of Cannibal Ferox and New York Ripper there is something just fantastic about Italian exploitation films and their soundtracks that just run a shiver of awesomeness down my spine. This one which I lovingly refer to as “Do It To Me Once More” – since I don’t know it’s original title – is so great that once you hear it for the first time, you’ll want to listen to it again and again. But before this review goes into controversial length, let’s get to the film itself.

Die-hard exploitation fans already know this one well. The film opens up with the great David Hess playing a thug named Alex who follows a girl home from a disco and rapes her in the back of her car and leaves her dead. From the start you’ll wonder if you’re actually watching The Last House on the Left – part 2 as the character of Alex is pretty much a doppelganger of Hess’ character Krug from the original LHOTL (Just as his character in Hitch-Hike is, in actuality, both of those characters). Once he leaves the girl for dead, he and his cohort Ricky (Giovanni Lombardo Radice (John Morghen) in his first role) are out to find a place “to boogie” and while in an auto repair shop come across and meet Tom (Christian Borromeo of Tenebre and The Pleasure Shop on 7^th Avenue) and Lisa (Annie Bell), a young couple who are having car trouble and come hoping that their shop is open and offer them money to give it a fix. When Alex and Ricky can’t get to the disco because of the inconvenience, they’re immediately invited back to the couple’s posh home to join a party that’s already underway. When they get there they meet Gloria (Lorraine Di Salle – Cannibal Ferox), her boyfriend Howard (Gabriele Di Guilio), and Glenda (Marie Claude Joseph).  After an icebreaker of some disco-dancing consisting of a horrible semi-strip tease for the ladies by Ricky and a poker game gone horribly awry, Alex pulls out a straight razor on the group and the fun begins.  Now, before I go on, I have to touch on the subject of Ricky’s dance. Seriously, this is one of the funniest and most preposterous full-body dry-heaves in horror history. It’s that hilarious that you’ll want to rewind it and watch it a few times. Though the top honor still belongs to Crispin Glover’s character in Friday the 13^th – The Final Chapter, but this one comes in very close second. If his intention was to induce any sort of arousal, it’s an epic fail of mammoth proportions, even on this end of the viewing spectrum. And that’s pretty bad, because Ricky is pretty darn cute.

But, as Alex watches from the sidelines, he looks like he doesn’t like one bit of Ricky getting all the attention. Hello, is that jealousy calling? So what does he do? He takes Lisa over to the kitchen to work his magic on her. When she rejects him, Alex grows tired of the situation not going in the way he wants it to so he turns the tables and makes the group pay. Acting as Ricky’s coach – since it’s apparent that he’s a few floats short of a parade and pretty naïve in the sex department – he coaxes his partner to cohort in sexually violent atrocities and acts of humiliation that terrorize the group.  

The rest of the film becomes scene after scene of humiliation and sexual titillation.  It does push envelopes but only manages to push them to just the end of the table. Why this was so outlawed and banned is still a question I’d love answered. Though the BBC had issues with glorified sexual violence, this one, in some respects, was more bark than bite. There were boobs-a-plenty and even male nudity to an extent, but it really doesn’t deliver in the exact manner that you think it’s going to. When you really sit down and analyze the film, it’s never explained why Alex goes on his rampage. It would have been great to see what his motivation would have been. And though you have to take it at face value – in other words, Alex did it because he could – there has to me something more in his backstory that would explain what would drive him to do the things he did to the group.

And it all reaches the boiling point once the character of Cindy is introduced. By no fault of her own, she is thrown into the vortex of Alex’s disturbed mind and sadly, she gets the brunt of it. This scene on its own is probably the most difficult to watch, as Alex disrobes her, humiliates her, and slices her naked body with the straight razor over and over again as the others watch in horror. For being the 70’s I could only imagine audience’s reactions to this. But, here is where the film takes its pivotal turn. Ricky sees what is happening and attempts to be the voice of reason to Alex’s disturbed mind. He tells Alex that one day he is going to go too far, that he is going to someday be unable to stop and tries to convince his friend that there is still time to turn around. But Ricky himself goes too far, by reminding Alex about “the girl from last year” – obviously referring to the start of the film and the altercation between Alex and the girl he followed from the discotech. This becomes the final straw for Alex and it is at this moment when everything goes awry. In a fit of rage, every ounce of Alex’s anger culminates into one strong swing of the razorblade and without even thinking (possibly) he slashes Ricky right across the chest, knocking him to the floor.   Ricky, in total shock and disbelief, lies there with blood on his hands and on his body and Alex slowly begins to break, and here is where everything unravels. Alex, instead of taking responsibility for his own actions, tries to pawn them off on Ricky as being the cause of what just happened. Why did you make me do this, Ricky?  And speaking of this scene, it’s here where Alex begins to show an emotional side not previously seen – In the scene where Ricky attempts to rape Gloria and Ricky barks back at Alex, Ricky apologizes for having yelled at him, and Alex accepts his apology and kisses him on the cheek, not once, not twice, but three times. He goes on by telling Ricky – as Ricky is lying on the floor covered in blood – that It’s always been just you and me, kid and You can’t leave me now, Ricky. It makes you wonder just what kind of a relationship they really had. Especially since it was hinted at in the beginning of the film, when Alex becomes jealous when Ricky dances for the group and gets all the attention.

But here is where the film finally reveals its twist. As Ricky lies there in his own blood, Tom secretly goes over to a drawer and pulls out a gun and pulls it on Alex, telling him that the entire night had been a setup and that the girl that Alex raped in the beginning of film was, in fact, Tom’s sister. Do you smell pre-meditated revenge? I think so! If you paid attention at the beginning, Alex takes a pendant that the girl was wearing and places it on himself. So it’s here that Tom takes up all of his nerve and shoots Alex in the leg, then the shoulder. But the best part of all, the coup de grace, is when he takes the final shot and shoots Alex in the groin! What transpires here is one of the most frightening, most disturbing screams in the history of horror cinema and you have to experience it for yourself to believe it. It will stay inside your head for hours after you’ve heard it and it’s one of the effective scenes in the entire film.  Alex, gasping his final breaths, manages to climb out of the pool and it is here where Tom rips his sister's pendant from the killer and reclaims it, tossing him back into the water. Once Alex is face down in the pool, Tom hands the gun to Lisa, who takes a shot at him. She, in turn, hands the gun to  Howard, who takes his chance in taking his own revenge for Alex having tied him up for most of the film. Once Alex is finally dead, Howard, offers the gun to Gloria, who refuses.

Once the denouement begins, we still see Ricky bleeding inside and Howard goes to finish him off, Ricky pleads for him to shoot him, to which Gloria convinces him not to do it. The film ends here but you are left to wonder about the deeper aspects of the film: Did everyone that attended the party know what was going to happen and know that Tom and Lisa had the entire night planned? Were the other members that were present family members/friends that had hoped to get revenge on the death of Tom’s sister at one point or another? If so, were they really willing to risk their own safety and lives for the sake of retribution? As interesting as those musing are, for me, the biggest question of all is: How did {Tom and Lisa] know who Alex was in the first place? Did they see the murder occur? Were they all at the same disco that night and just happened to remember his face? How was it that they knew exactly where to find them and how is it that they were so confident that the duo would actually accept their invitation? I know that your suspension of disbelief has to be in its highest mode if you’re going to pose these questions, but all in all the film works, even if it does on the smallest level. For the reputation the film has carried throughout the decades, it isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be. But don’t let that stop you from watching it at least once. It’s a great piece of cinema made in a style that isn’t made this way anymore. The Shriek Show disc was beautifully re-mastered – in Anamorphic Widescreen - in both picture and sound and it looks fantastic. The major difference between the version on the EB disc and this disc is that the EB disc has the original Italian title cards in place and the latter replaces them with ones in English. There is an interview with Hess himself that’s a little on the bizarre side – watch it and you’ll see what I mean – that is worth watching. And for those of you who are wondering, both prints are uncut.

This is one that is essential viewing if you’re a fan at all of Italian exploitation cinema. I’m not sure how available the SS disc is, as I haven’t seen it on store shelves for a least a year. I do know it’s on Netflix so if you get  a moment, seek this one out. It’s worth looking at and will remind you of the days when exploitation cinema was at its absolute best. Oh, and if you don’t know already, there will be a House on the Edge of the Park – Part 2 coming out either later this year or next year. 

Yes, you read that correctly. David Hess was originally attached to the project but sadly passed away a few years ago. From what I’ve read, HOTEOTP part 2 will take place thirty years after the original, with Ricky – Yes, Radice will be reprising his role -  having served his time in prison for the events that happened in the original and the film taking place just as he is being released. Ricky will once again get mixed up with the wrong people and repeat the cycle all over again. Surprisingly, Rugerro Deodato will sit in the director's chair for this sequel, which honestly, I'm excited about. If you’ve seen the original and love it as much as I do, you just have to be curious on how this is going to be pulled off. We’re not holding out breaths, though, since films like these always end up being duds. But for this one, I think I’ll keep my fingers crossed. 

A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

I’ll be damned if anyone's going to challenge me on what I’m about to say, but us kids that grew up in the 80’s were the luckiest on the planet. It was a great time to be alive and no time period since has even come close to paralleling it, regardless of what anyone will say. We had the best television shows, the best music, the best video games, the best fashion (Wait, scratch that…lol), and most of all, the best fright flicks. There was an endearing cheesiness in them that, while at some point they were expecting to be taken seriously, always ended up in some campy terrain, miles and miles away from where the original intention of the film ever planned on going. This one was no exception, especially since it was supposed to ride on the coattails of its brilliant predecessor. 
  

I know that right now you might be thinking, Why is this guy reviewing a sequel when he hasn’t even touched on the original?, since I wrote the original Friday the 13^th’s entry on here before even saying a word about Part 2, but I was watching this a few nights ago, again (lol), and it’s been on my mind since. I have many fond early memories of this film, but more because of its advertising campaign since I didn’t actually get to see the movie itself until the early 90’s, once it was on home video. I won’t go into the details of my encounter with the original NOES because then I’ll stray from talking about this installment, as I watched both of these films for the first time within months of one another, but the first time I ever came into any sort of contact with this entry was during, if I remember correctly, the autumn of 1985, just as I had entered the seventh grade.

My first encounter with this was its 30-second television spot. There was already buzz on the junior-high playground regarding the first film as it was being dubbed “the scariest movie you will ever see” and the name of “Freddy Krueger” was already becoming a classroom-name and of course, I hadn’t had the chance to see it. One, because I was big fraidy cat at the time – though there was a strong stirring curiosity inside of me – and two, I had strict parents who would have never let me sit through something like this of their own accord. So by this time, the sequel had come around. What always stayed with me was the image of Jesse saying “There’s something inside of me!” and that was enough to creep me out back then and I couldn’t watch the TV spot after that as Jesse’s voice managed to always crawl up my spine and give me the chills. Little did I know that his now-famous scene – and subsequent line of dialogue - was a euphemism for something I would soon identify with well. Along with the image of Freddy jumping out from the bushes to terrorize the kids, the spot would be something I’d never forget.

One day the following summer while cruising the video rental section at the old Highway 83 location of the H-E-B grocery store in Weslaco , Texas , as the parentals were doing their shopping, I took a gander of the poster art of this for the first time. In the mid-80’s the H-E-B video department had a little newsletter of sorts where you could read about all the new releases – both at their stores and in the theaters – with little gimmicky offers and coupons inside the 8 ½ X 11 inch-sized advert. But, what I remember most is that when you opened the entire newsletter (as it was comprised of four full-sized pages put together), it folded out into an almost full replica of the poster art of whatever movie was being featured at the time. Though I did manage to collect a few of them, the ones that I will always remember are Ghostbusters – which was my favorite one of all – and A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge.

We all know the plot so I won’t go into it very much because I’m confident that at least a whopping 95% of you reading this have already seen it multiple times – I’ll actually be surprised if someone hasn’t seen this. A new family moves into the old Elm Street house where a young boy named Jesse is having visions of Freddy Kruger in his dreams. When his girl-friend Lisa (note the hyphenation) comes over and finds a diary belonging to Nancy Walsh from the first film talking about the same man he is seeing while he sleeps. What transpires is Freddy attempting to possess the body of young Jesse and having him commit crimes in the real world instead of people’s nightmares, as was laid out in the original NOES. As Freddy tries harder and harder to manipulate Jesse to commit violent acts in real-time on his behalf, the more Jesse tries to figure out exactly what’s going on inside of him and fight back. With the help of his friend Lisa, he manages to fight off Freddy once and for all. Or does he? That’s pretty much the basic premise of the film.

Now, I don’t want to sound like a total geek, but as you’re watching this you can’t help but Jesse as the first male scream queen. Boy, does that kid have a set of lungs. And he does it with such sincerity and energy that at some point, you have to admit that he can out-scream Jamie Lee Curtis on any given day. There hasn’t been a guy in horror history who has since matched the belts let out by this kid and I’m more than sure no one ever will. With his boyish good looks, blonde hair and blue eyes, there’s a sweet, innocent charm to him that you can’t resist and before you know it, you’ve fallen in love with him and are rooting for him for the duration of the film. Played with absolute flair by Mark Patton, you soon come to realize that Patton is Jesse, a sort of extension of himself in more ways than could have been known at the time. There’s a realness to him that comes off as if he were the kid next door you only came into contact with but never took the time to get to know, the friend you’d see in school from afar but never talk to.

I could go into more detail about other elements of this film because there’s a lot I could talk about, like how New Line put this into motion without Wes Craven’s participation because [Craven] didn’t like the idea that Freddy was manipulating someone to hurt people in the real world and that the original intent of the first film was to have a happy ending, but I know there’s one question you’re probably asking yourself right now: When is he going to talk about what he’s not talking about? And if you’re a regular follower and reader of this blog, you know exactly what that is.

Yeah, yeah, blabbity-blah, the gay subtext. There’s been much debate over the years among fans of the series regarding if everything we’ve seen and read about was all done with intentions in mind. All I’m going to say about that is watch the documentary Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy and your questions will be answered. When I first viewed the film as a sophomore in high school just before Christmas Break let out – now that I think about it, why were we allowed to watch a horror movie in the first place? – and though I was a little scared…okay, I was scared plenty (there, I said it) – I didn’t get it until I watched it for the first time on video by myself almost five years later in the summer of 1993. Maybe because I was younger at the time and watching it with a bunch of teenagers who weren’t really paying attention to the movie anyway? Possibly because I was watching it all alone in the dark within a different atmosphere and a much different frame of mind? Let’s face it, just the beginning of the film in the scene where we’re introduced to Jesse for the first time where he wakes up, sits on the edge of the bed and adjusts his junk? That should have been my clue. As the film progresses, there are more and more clues as to where this films wants to subliminally lead you. Everything from the perfect casting of the obvious over-the-top hotness that is Ron Grady (slickly played by Robert Rusler) and the whole on-screen hunk-to-geek ratio that is practically irresistible, the scene where Jesse cleans his room and dances to the tune of the wonderful “Touch Me (All Night Long)” by Fonda Rae and Wish, to the (random!) scene in the S&M bar where Jesse runs into his coach and scene in the shower that follows. The latter immediately pose the questions, How did Jesse even know there was an S&M bar in his town?, How did he know where it was?, And how would he ever have known that his coach would be there?

If you really look at it from an “alternative” standpoint, Grady and the coach are key elements in the film when it comes to Jesse. Grady is the one boy - and friend - Jesse looks up to and though never stated blatantly in the film, you know Jesse had an unmistakable crush on Grady. And you have to admit that Grady not only knew, but was okay with it as he proved to be Jesse's protector and confidant. Jesse went to Grady for everything, including the times he was punished at school while on the field, and including the time when making out with Lisa at the pool party went wrong and Jesse flees to seek refuge at Grady's house. And to have Jesse arrive after bedtime and get to catch a glimpse of his friend under the covers, shirtless, and get the opportunity to share a bedroom with the object of his silent affection? Yeah, I thought so. And if you ask me, I think the coach had a stiffy for poor Jesse, which would explain why he always gave the poor boy hell. And I think Grady knew that, as well - why else would he defend him? And Freddy wasn't any help, either. And "Freddy" had to have been a metaphor for Jesse's repressed homosexuality. Freddy did his share of scaring Jesse, degrading him, telling him "You can't beat me" over and over again, adding to his pain. The whole "There's something inside of me!" statement not only makes perfect sense now, but it actually resonates and gives the entire film an entirely new meaning. Lisa urges him to fight it, which could be viewed as a message with a meaning much more profound than just a line of dialogue in the film, since Jesse - from what I perceive - was fighting feelings that were not only confusing to deal with but also having to life with the fear of said feelings being taboo and unacceptable at that time - which, if you grew up heterosexually-challenged in the 80's, you know exactly what kind of pain I'm talking about. The producers of the film claim that the subtext was not intentional at all but the writer claims otherwise - as stated in the documentary. But once you've seen it with all of those little hidden messages brought out to light, subsequent viewings have you trying to pinpoint them all - and they're all there. It's great discussion material and I was happy when it was a subject of conversation on the Elm Street documentary that's on DVD. If you're even a remote fan of the series, it's essential viewing. The documentary is over 4 hours long and covers everything regarding the entire series in its entirety, film by film. And though Grady doesn't make an appearance (sadly - as I'd love to see what he looks like now and hear his opinions on this), Jesse does and it's a wonderful highlight. 

If this isn't in your collection already, it sure as hell should be. I do admit that the film does have its flaws, but there's many reasons to overlook them. It's worth seeing time and time again and not only does it remind us of how great the eighties really were, but it's a reminder of how silent certain areas of society were and their silent plight to be seen, heard and ultimately, recognized. We're so used to certain groups of people being abundant and accepted in modern society, but it wasn't always that way and this film establishes that. This film opened up so many doors within the minds of us closeted boys. We got to see that we weren't the only ones struggling to fight feelings we knew hadn't been accepted yet and those pains of having to find ways to deal with them. I do consider this an important film in may respects just because the subject matter was dealt with in a manner that hadn't been done before. And if you've had the joy of watching this - as I know you have - you have to just love the final scene, where Jesse and his pals having survived the onslaught, get back onto the bus thinking that everything is over and that life is going returning to normal. Then, BAM!, from out of nowhere, Freddy's glove pierces through his friend and the camera freeze frames on Jesse's magnificent scream of doom. There will never be a scream in horror history as prolific as Jesse's final note of sheer horror. It's monumental, it's epic, it's one of the best the eighties had to offer.  

The Scorpion With Two Tails (1982)

In mid-2004, there was a curiosity sparked inside of me when I first laid eyes on the Mario Bava film, Shock. I won’t go into the details about that film since more than likely I will be reviewing it within the next few weeks but it began my venture into the foray of Italian murder-mysteries and the genre of said films known across the world as giallo. Though the only Italian horror film I’d seen up to that time had been Suspiria, but my recent viewings at that time of Bay of Blood and there aforementioned Shock had really tickled my fancy. Since then, I’ve not only sat through a countless number of them but have been able to snag a whole bunch of them and add them to my collection. There is something about this style of film that not only captivated my attention with their brazen outrageousness but also got me hooked. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent in front of the computer researching, doing my homework and trying to see how many of these films I can watch  and soon I was getting my hands on so many of them that I couldn’t keep up. Before I knew it I was looking at a plethora of films by Argento, Fulci, Bava (both of them), Martino, Deodato, Lenzi and my fondness for these kinds of Euro-trash quickly became my second favorite style of film – next to the slasher film, of course. 

This entry, though, was one of those films that spent months on the shelf in my office before I decided to finally pick it up and give it a watch yesterday. For starters, let me say that I will watch any film with the always-wonderful John Saxon at least once. For years, I’ve been a huge fan of his and have almost every horror flick he’s been in. Those rugged looks, those piercing eyes – he’s got to be one of the most dashing and handsome men on the B-movie circuit.  So you know that when I read his name in the cast listing it was immediately placed into my Netfilx queue at the top of the list. Then when I read it had been directed by Sergio Martino – whose Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key had already spent months dormant in my collection, as well – I knew that I was going to have a good time. Several weeks before sitting down to watch this, though, I’d gone online and read other people’s opinions about this one and was surprised – and a little saddened - at just how many bad reviews it had gotten. I was thoroughly disappointed to read that a film with a catchy title as The Scorpion with Two Tails (as opposed to its alternate title Murder in an Etruscan Cemetery) could be at all bad. But, I proceeded with caution. I mean, let’s face it, we’ve all seen worse. (Hellgate, anyone?)

The film opens up with a bizarre sequence with a woman named Joan (the gorgeous Elivire Audray) having nightmares about a ritual in an underground grotto with a young couple having their necks broken and then being sacrificed. Her husband (John Saxon) is on the other side of the world on an archaeological excursion who seems to have discovered an ancient Etruscan tomb when while away, is murdered by an unknown assailant in the same manner she’s seen in her dreams. She goes to Italy to try and find out just what happened and why she knew exactly what her husband had stumbled upon if she’d never been to Italy. Accompanied by her friend and confidant Mike (Paolo Malco, known for The New York Ripper and House by the Cemetery), Joan tries to put all the puzzle pieces together beginning with why everything she was encountering in real life had already been seen in dreams while dealing with a drug deal gone wrong that she never would have expected involving both her deceased husband, countess Maria (played by the fantastically gorgeous Marilu Tolo) and her father.

While in Italy, Joan finds out that her husband had found an important artifact while in the grotto that was meant for her: A necklace of a scorpion with two tails that was being kept in the care of a local jeweler. Why does this look familiar to her? It seems that while down in the tomb her husband had discovered he came across it, and along with other archaeologists, she realizes that the photo of a subject found on the walls looks exactly like her. And she’s wearing a necklace with a scorpion with two tails that looks exactly like the one her husband had found and left to her. Why does she look like the woman painted on the wall? Who is she and could she be connected to all the dreams she’s been having? And why does a lot of the music in this film sound familiar? Maybe I’ve heard it in The Beyond? Or was it The Gates of Hell?

What ensues is not so much a giallo as I was expecting it to be but more a thriller. I do have to warn you though that the story’s pacing is quite slow and some of the plot devices are not only outlandish and absurd but render some portions of the film completely incomprehensible (including a revelation at the film’s close that never would have worked in the real life and makes you burst out in obnoxious laughter). There are countless scenes involving statues and maggots galore and plenty of moments with Joan screaming for – what appears to be - pure show. With that said, it still managed to keep my attention somehow.

The photography, on the other hand, was excellent. The Italian countryside is bursting with rich colors and wonderful greens and yellows. One reason I love these foreign films is that the cinematographers always photograph their surroundings with precision and care. There’s nothing I love more than to watch these movies and get a glimpse of what life was like during those time periods. I get to see buildings and cities and country sides and beaches all caught with precision and beauty and preserved for me to see anytime I want to.

Mya Communications did a great job with this disc, visually. I don’t own many of their titles but what I do have in my collection is great. This disc, though, is probably the best one I have. The opening DVD menus are absolutely gorgeous and crisp and I liked how there was a soft fadeout after every selection. There isn’t much as far as bonus features are concerned, though, just the trailer, poster gallery, and alternate opening sequence with the alternate title (looking like someone did the titles with an old Tandy computer) but I did like the juxtaposition of the bloody hands on the menu screen against soft Italio-Muzak. There’s something about that combination – and it’s a combination used in many Italian thrillers – that I really dig. I’m not going to say to hunt this one down because I’d be leading you on. I think it’s worth a look if you like these kinds of films. It’s not as bad as many reviews I’ve read claim it to be, but I have to be honest and say that it isn’t stellar. I’ve only seen three or four of Martino’s works and I can tell you that this is the weakest one so far. But, just because it’s weak doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve at least one watch. One of my rules as a horror watcher – and reviewer – that I live by is that you can’t bank a film solely on what someone else says about it. There are so many palettes and tastes that lie within horror fandom that relying on just one person’s opinion would be unfair not only to the film itself, but to yourself as the viewer. How do you know if you will like a film if you don’t sit in front of it? One of the risks you take being an avid horror fan is that some films are going to rock your world and other’s will not. I always say that for every fantastic horror film you watch, there will be three or four that you’ll see that will genuinely suck. That’s just the way it is. And I’m talking about the film sucking in a bad way, where there is nothing in it that will redeem itself. (Hellgate, anyone?)

The film’s closing act is so absurd that you have to force yourself to believe it, and I mean absurd to the point of hysterical laughter. As I said earlier, it would never work in the real world and suspension of disbelief gives you no choice but to smile and nod your head, albeit unkindly. You have to give the writers and producers credit for their attempted creativity because the combinations of plot points and storyline don’t spell “blockbuster” in any way shape or form. But then again what film such as this one would? Yes, it was missing creativity in the aspect of murder sequences – everyone pretty much dies in the same manner – but it still wasn’t enough for me to turn off the DVD player. The red herrings here weren’t crimson enough to confuse or deter and when the killer finally reveals himself, you’re really inclined to scream out a half-assed “huh?!” than an enthusiastic “what?!” because the shock that it tries to set itself up for fails to deliver - hard. The denouement leaves a lot to be desired and the outcome leaves you asking how it could have been possible to end that way if there wasn’t enough development between the two characters in question for those results to have materialized? Seriously, it’s pretty far-fetched but (in my best Italian voice) Whaduya gonna do?.

I’m not going to lie when I say I won’t see this one again because I probably will – hello, John Saxon’s in it. The locales and the absurdity of some of the plot points and other goings on are reason to claim it as bona fide entertainment. This one of those kinds of films you’d put on after a Friday night after work to end the long work week when all your plans to go out have fallen through, you’re too tired and lazy to make dinner and order in a pizza and there’s nothing else left to watch on television.   

Friday the 13th - Part 3 (1982)

The Friday the 13^th franchise – up until it was taken over by New Line Cinema  - has a special place in my heart. It’s really hard to explain why, but I’ll sum it up by saying that the first film in the series was the very first horror film I was exposed to when I was seven years old. It was actually the very first entry in this blog I did about three years ago and you can find it here if you’re interested. You can probably say that I was “traumatized” by it seeing is that I saw pieces of it at a very young age and it wasn’t until I was a pre-teen that was able to see it in its entirety. It’s no wonder I’m so messed up. Maybe I can blame all those camping trips I was forced to take every summer and being in the exact surroundings as the ones shown in these movies. Maybe I can blame my father for thinking it was cute to sit me through most of it thinking it wouldn’t affect me [the whole story on that is documented in the very first LL80sH entry, as well]. Well, it did, and it did in a rather big way. I was never the same after that one summer day back in 1982 and since that time, I have slowly became a prisoner to the slasher film, to which I am now serving a life-sentence. 

My first encounter with part III (can anyone tell me why it’s labeled as “part 3” on the poster but registered and show in the trailer(s) and the actual film as “part III”?) was in 1983. My family was on a shopping trip to the Fresno Zody’s (Wow, I bet it’s been years since you’ve heard that chain mentioned) and located right next to it was a UA movie theater. I remember stepping off the car and looking up into the sky to see the yellow marquee emblazoned with huge red letters saying, “FRIDAY THE 13^TH – PART 3 in 3D”. I remember staring at it behind me as I walked into the store with my folks. That stayed with me. Months later, I came face to face with the poster at All That Video in Reedley – I don’t know why it scared me, but it did. The knife coming though the shower curtain with the knife coming through it – which, nothing of the sort was shown during the film. See below! – was an image I never forgot. (Speaking of: (slightly off-topic) I remember seeing a video poster for Part 2 in that same store that was comprised of only the head of Mrs. Voorhees. It scared the shit out of me then and I’ve never been able to locate it anywhere, even online. I wonder if I conjured that up in my own imagination?) 

My kid brother has an unhidden love for this one. Mainly because he has a soft spot (or better yet, a hard-on) for Dana Kimmel who was in Lone Wolf McQuade (one of his favorite films), but I know her as the little girl from Sweet Sixteen. But, before we get to her and the other actors, let’s start from el principio. This is not one of my favorite entries in the series. With every *gasp* out there I just heard, let me clarify by stating that I didn’t say I didn’t like the film, it’s just not one of my favorites -  which is funny because I’ve sat through this one a million times as the first three were the very first horror films I owned on videocassette as a teenager. Because of my “traumatizing” from the first film so young, I used to stand and hover over these at any/every video store we went to and there was a feeling of terror that would begin at the pinnacle of my scalp and travel rapidly down the back of my spine until it reached my toes. Especially when looking at the box art to this one. I can’t explain why, it just did.

 There is something about the atmospheres of parts 1 and 2 that still give me chills to this day. There’s a pronounced feeling of impending doom that I’m sorry to say the third installment lacks. Sure, it’s set on the usual clichéd “house in the middle of the country”-type setting, save for the campgrounds of the introductory two films, giving us a change in scenery of sorts to set up the Jason character in a deeper perspective. You can still feel the sadness of Part 2 in the opening flashback sequence, but once the camera looms down onto Jason with the machete stuck inside him and then we see him take it out, you can’t help but feel inclined to scoff loudly. I mean seriously, it just so happens Jason was strong enough and able to remove that big ‘ol machete from deep inside his shoulder?

 Now, let’s cut to the opening credits and that addicting disco song. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not chastising it in any way. In fact, I love that it oozes New Order’s “Blue Monday” – speaking in terms of the similarities in percussion, drum programming, and throbbing synth bass line – from all sides and love how eerily effective it really is. It was good enough to be a single and surprisingly, can still hold its own this many years later. Not for anything, but the theme on its own makes up the better part of the film.

 So we all know the movie’s premise and that Jason gets his trademark hockey mask in this installment and blah-blah-blah. That’s not what I’d really like to talk about because as horror fans – especially of this particular franchise – we know everything there is to know about them. We’ve done research, we’ve gone to and read information on website upon website, and we consider ourselves “pros” when it comes to trivia about these films. We know the running-scenarios: The group’s encounter with a Crazy Ralph-esque loon on their way to the campsite, the couple to have sex during the middle of the film get the worst death(s) (Jack and Marcie, Jeff and Sandra and now Debbie and Andy), the final girls’ boyfriend is always killed penultimately (Bill in part 1, Paul in part 2, and now Rick) and so on.  Some of the murder sequences in the film aren’t all that impressive, save Andy’s awesome torso-split-by-a-machete demise. Vera’s arrow-to-the-eye death was fantastic, also, but it loses a lot of clout due to the obvious wire that comes out from the gun as it hurls toward her. The others are cookie-cutter and unimaginative even with the whole 3D going on (Can you say “Rick’s obviously fake eye”?). And usually I wouldn’t complain about something like this, but if I see a girl taking a shower alone in a slasher film, I do expect to see her slashed to bits, especially if the one-sheet hanging in the theater suggests it.

 I wish that I could have seen this in its anaglyphic 3D version when it was first released. There is something about the standard “blue and red” 3D version on the deluxe edition DVD that just doesn’t do it for me. When it was first released, I sat down in front of a big-screen television and popped this in the player, slid on my 3D glasses and held my breath because I was finally going to see this the way it was meant to be seen. Or so I thought. Jason didn’t even get past Higgin’s Haven before I switched over to the original 2D version. I was disappointed, but at least it was available in 3D period.

 So why is it that I’m not awed by this one? I could sit here all night and point out every reason but we won’t go there. The ones that bug me the most though, are the so-called “backstory” between Chris and Jason. Her monologue to Rick as she recounts her nightmare encounter with Mr. Voorhees has got to be one of the most laughable in horror history. It’s so over-acted, it’s so inane and so unbelievable that you have no choice but to buy it. So was Jason following her? Is that why he showed up and recognized her enough to lift up his mask and make sure she knew who he was at the film’s finale? Was there more to their relationship than she led on? Because I’d like to know more about the alternate ending that was never used. You know, the one where Jason beheads her? I have this idea that Jason knew Chris more than she was willing to admit. That would explain why she is so terrified of him to the point of madness. But, this is only my opinion. They should have put the stills of this ending on the DVD so everyone could see it and make their own decision of which one could have/would have been better. Because this whole “let’s-copy-the-first-ending-but-replace-Jason-with-Mrs.-Voorhees-and-maybe-nobody-will-notice” ending really stinks, let’s be honest. To me, it felt like a cop out. As if the ending was thrown together because maybe the Chris-gets-her-head-chopped-off ending wasn’t going to work? Or would it have worked so well that the heads at Paramount didn’t want to risk it and order the generic re-tread of the first film’s scare the green light?

 Hands down, it isn’t the best in the series for me. But, it isn’t the worst either. That honor goes to parts V and Jason Takes Manhattan. I will admit that is has its moments worth looking at and it does have its charm in some spots. Keep in your collection for just the historical value and what this entry brought into the mainstream: a horror icon that forever has its place in pop culture and the lives of millions. 

The Neighbor (Il Vicino Di Casa) (Dario Argento's "Door Into Darkness" Episode 1) (1973)

So if you don’t know that I’m a Dario Argento fan, let’s throw that card out on the table right now and get it over with: Ever since I first laid eyes on Suspiria back in the mid-nineties, it was true love from that moment on. I now own the majority of his films ranging from The Bird with the Crystal Plumage all the way to Trauma and Sleepless and everything in between- save for some of the ones that really didn’t end up floating my boat, which were only a few. Without going into the details of the how and why – because we could be here all night – for me, the man is fantastic and a true influential innovator when it comes to the horror genre. Up until a few weeks ago, I had no idea that in the early 1970’s he had done a made-for-television series in Italy. I knew that Lucio Fulci had done his House Of…series – in which I own two entries, The Sweet House of Horrors and The House of Clocks, so of course, I was immediately interested. I wasn’t able to find it for a decent prince over the internet – and by “decent” I mean “a price I was willing to pay” - so I consider myself very lucky to have found it by accident last night at the Fresno Rasputin’s for the low price of $11.99. Without even thinking, I yanked it off the shelf and made a dash for the cash register. Well, actually, I spent about an hour and half with it under my arm before I actually left the store - which always happens when I make a Rasputin’s stop - but I made sure that it went home with me. Mya Communications – who, conversely, released Argento’s own Four Flies on Grey Velvet – is the company that put this out. Solely on the merits of how great of a job they did with FFOGV, I knew that this 2-disc set was going to be just as good. 

With every episode being just under an hour in length, I immediately decided that I would do a separate review for each of the four episodes, as doing them all in one entry here wouldn’t be such a great idea. Most film reviews, especially in this genre and on a blog like this, shouldn’t take more than ten to fifteen minutes to read, if that. Plus, by the time I got home and popped this into the player, it was after midnight and I didn’t have the strength or the energy to sit through the entire set in one night. So I sat back in bed, grabbed a pillow and selected the first episode, “Il Vicino di Casa (The Neighbor)”:

If you’re even thinking of getting your hands on this set, let me immediately warn you that if you’re expecting something digitally re-mastered and fancy, you’re facing major disappointment. According to the opening screen, the original film elements of this series no longer exist leaving Maya no choice but to use old television tapes from RAI (Radiotelevisione Italiana) and use them as masters. I’m going to be honest and say that normally, I would be just a wee bit frustrated with that but for this series, it works. I will explain why later on. The episode begins with Argento himself hosting the show and giving a little overview of the idea of fear and how differently it affects us. And let me tell you, Sir Dario looks as chilling as he ever did, does, or ever will. It then cuts to the director himself (or his doppelganger) looking into the hood of his car that’s just broken down in the middle of the highway. He is picked up by a young couple, Luca (a very handsome actor by the name of Aldo Reggiani) and Stefania (a beautiful actress named Laura Belli) and their infant son who will become the main characters of this episode.

We cut to the interior of an apartment to an older, spectacled man (Mimmo Palmara) standing in front of a coatrack as his wife, who is bathing, asks him for her bathrobe…more than once. He appears distraught and irritated, to the point to where he slowly takes the belt off the bathrobe and proceeds to the bathroom with the idea now in his head that maybe getting rid of her once in for all will be a good idea. But will he do it?

Luca and Stefania arrive late that night and by a stroke of bad luck, get their car stuck in the sand and are unable to get it out. Frustrated and too tired to do anything else, they come to the lovely beachside apartment building they are moving into and try to find a place to put their son down for the night. After lighting a solitary candle and scoping out their new surroundings, they settle down for the night and watch television together: an airing of Frankenstein that Luca has been looking forward to. As they sit together and bask in the light of the candle – that is slowly burning out – Stefania looks up at the ceiling and sees a huge water spot in the corner of the room, coming from the apartment above them, where the older spectacled man and his now possibly deceased wife reside. Not knowing if the above neighbors know what’s going on with their water pipes, Luca makes his way upstairs to knock on the door and make sure everything is OK. With no answer, he goes back downstairs only to come back later as the water spot grows and grows. Stefania now becomes worried and when Luca buzzes the door with no answer the second time, he takes it upon himself to turn the doorknob, and walks inside.

I’m really torn between telling you the entire story and letting you find out on your own what transpires from this point.  And I’m being serious when I’m telling you that I’m fighting with myself as I write this because from this point on, the tension rises rather quickly, and effectively. Though Argento himself produced the entire series, this episode was directed by fellow italo-director Luigi Cozzi (Contamination) and it looks and feels like he took great notes from the Master himself. It shifts suddenly from a soft expository piece (it takes a while to “get going” because we’re given some time to really get to know the two main characters)  to a semi-claustrophobic piece of terror. And it’s a great piece overall, and I’m surprised that something this terrifying and great was allowed on television back in the 70’s...in Italy. From the homework I’ve done on this series, it was the first to break the ground rules of how much terror could be shown on Italian television. The entire episode screams of influences from Hitchcock, mirroring Rear Window in many ways (even reminding me of more modern fare such as Disturbia) and director Cozzi manages to transition from tranquility to intensity quickly and almost seamlessly. 

The set pieces are absolutely gorgeous. The apartment building is painted stark white from the inside, totally foreshadowing, in my opinion, the way the color scheme will be for Tenebre. The house and its surroundings remind me of my childhood/teenage summers in Mexico. The doors are simply hinged and lined with wood paneling. I felt like I was back at my grandmother’s again back in the late 80’s. Immediately, I made a connection with the house and how it is deceitfully warm and welcoming. The atmosphere was too familiar for me so you know that the film had me in its grip just with that. The house itself and everything within it can also be seen as symbolism. The apartment is empty when they arrive, just as their new lives are and everything they own is coming later (which will be shown in the episode’s conclusion). The choppy and active sea next to where they live foreshadows the rough terrain they are about to go through - and most importantly, the candle itself that is next to them. It starts off brand new – just like their new lives in the new apartment. Slowly, but surely, it burns shorter and shorter and just as it slowly melts away and dies out, showing just how much time they have left and if you pay attention closely enough, it’s almost like a clock, giving the climax just after its gone out. So when Luca goes back upstairs after realizing that he left his lighter in the bathroom next to what they’ve discovered, all hell quickly breaks loose.

I may just have to post a link here so you can watch this because the final act is fantastic (Update: Only the introduction by Argento to this episode is online). Even for television in the mid-70’s, it packs a wallop and I don’t know how this would even pass today by network standards. I honestly wasn’t expecting much since this was an Italian horror television series – and if you’ve seen Fulci’s The Sweet House of Horrors, you know exactly what I’m referring to – but this was a great surprise and is now going into the ranks of top television horror for me. When the neighbor comes back and finds that Luca was walking around in his apartment, the game changes to a hostage situation which is destined to end in a deadly fashion. But pay close attention, because while Luca and Stefania are bound and held by the villain, and while he’s is out digging up holes in the sand to bury not only the evidence of the crime he’s committed, but Luca and Stefania as well,  there’s a piece of the original puzzle that disappears for a while. And the emotions and terror are so well executed, leaving you so involved in what’s happened to them, that you actually don’t notice that piece of the puzzle is missing. And it’s a very important one because it comes up at the close of the third act…and you completely don’t see it coming, or can you? The final scene is chilling and effectively done in a manner that left me pondering on its ambiguousness. Why did it end the way it did? Was it written that way and why weren’t we able to find out what ultimately transpired? Why was I left to make my own conclusion? Why was there no denouement?? Even 24 hours later, I’m still thinking about it. And that’s what I love about some Italian films, that some end in the most bizarre, sudden and absurd manner that you can’t help but hurl expletives at the television. You toss the remote to one side and swear to yourself that you’ll never lay eyes on one again. Yeah, I say that each time. Yet, here I am.

Get this one if you can locate it. I’m not sure if it’s out of print yet or had a limited print run, but the set has 2 discs with all four episodes and the classic documentary Dario Argento: Master of Horror (also directed by Cozzi), which you already know is essential viewing if you’re even a remote Argento aficionado. I’m glad that the set was not re-mastered and was presented in the manner in which it is. With the lights off, it actually feels like you’re watching it during its first run airing, resembling that you’re watching it secretly in your parent’s living room way after bedtime. And any horror fan my age remembers doing that. You feel cozy, secure and young again. For a little while, it’s 1973 and let me say that I miss the simplicity that some films can bring, especially thrillers like this one. I’ve learned with films such as this that gore is never necessary to achieve a good scare, and let me say that there is not a drop of blood in this film. But it wasn’t needed at all. It is well-deserving of multiple viewings, by far.  

Allow me to conclude by saying that with the film’s closing moments, you will never hear the sound of a baby’s cry the same ever again. Shit. I’ve said too much. 

Godetevi il filmato!

The Burning (1981)

One of my very first horror-related memories is completely owned by The Burning.

In some of my earlier reviews, I talk very briefly about a small mom-and-pop video store that was located in Reedley, California in the early eighties. This place was very small, but housed a lot of the horror I would come to know and love in the future. It was one of the very few video rental places in the little city we lived in and my parents frequented it quite regularly so it was the very first exposure I had to the home video revolution that was just beginning. Writing that last sentence just made me homesick for the 1980’s, when large, bulky VCR’s (like my parent’s Quasar model) were the only things available and little independent shops lined with mahogany shelves filled with videocassettes in random order and smelling of popcorn started popping up slowly in every town.  The days of membership and rewind fees…they’re all gone. It makes me sad that all of that is just a distant memory now, what with the advent of DVD, and the death of the video rental stores altogether (Thank you, Redbox and Netflix). Let’s stop there, because I’ll get all soft. And I know if you read those last few sentences, you may be feeling the same way now.

 Since the last time I was active on this blog, I met a woman that lived in the apartment below me after just having moved into a new building in 2010. A good gal, she became interested in my horror film collection and one night while helping her cook dinner, we got into a deep conversation about how my fascination with said horror began and I started telling her about the little video shop that I still hold onto for dear life and as I went on and on, she stopped in her tracks. She turned around and said, “Are you talking about the video store that used to be downtown next to the old ice cream parlor?”  I froze. How did she know that? I’d mentioned it to so many people who had no clue to what I was talking about to the point to where I’d already convinced myself that I’d possibly dreamed (or at least semi-fabricated) its existence. About ten years ago, I even went as far as to contact the local chamber of commerce to see if any record of the video store was available for viewing so I could at least rest knowing that it wasn’t a figment of my imagination, with no answer from them, of course.

The hour that followed was life-changing. Not only did she know about the store and its name, but it turns out that her grandfather and father owned and ran it! My lifelong search was finally over! Ernie’s Video – as it was known – was opened at the beginning of the 80’s and closed sometime before 1989. I couldn’t even begin to tell her all the fond memories I had of that place and it turns out that I remembered more of the store than she did. Everything from the store’s layout, the color and style of the front door with the little bell that hung around the doorknob to the way the shelves were set up (and the exact direction in which the videocassettes were placed and how they faced). I went on and on about the clear casings that housed some of the more “forbidden titles” that were under the store’s countertops, and the five posters that hung in the store that forever stand out in my memory: Altered States hung in the front window facing the sidewalk. Maniac hung next to the interior door that led into the back area. The half-sized standee of Zombie that sat on the counter on the right side of the store. And the most memorable one of all, the full-sized one sheet of The Burning that was taped to a mirror that overlooked the entire store. That was the one I never forgot.

I was lucky enough to meet her father later on and reminisce with him about the store. What was strange was that I had more recollection of it than he did, which he found very amusing. Don’t get me wrong, he did remember its existence and was tickled pink to hear how much of it I still remembered. I asked him if he had any pictures of the store or anything that was saved from it, just to finally prove to myself that I didn’t concoct the entire thing in my head, because believe me, I was already convincing myself that I’d either made it all up or had dreamt it while I was a kid.  He was nice enough to give me an original Ernie’s Video baseball cap that had managed to survive all these years and a small roll of the silver decals that went on the sides of the VHS cassettes that had the original address, phone number and logo of the store. I was ecstatic. I couldn’t even express how happy I was that I could finally rest knowing that I wasn’t crazy! Right now the cap and decals are in storage so as soon as I can get them out, I will post pictures of them so you all can see. Hallelujah, I’m not sick after all! Oh, wait….

So the first “re-introducing” of this film came in the early 1990’s by means of the book Don’t Look In The Shower! that I picked up one afternoon at the local library – during the period that I was on the cusp of becoming the extreme die-hard that I am now. There was a short essay in which The Burning was named and quickly reviewed and I will never forget that once sentence that pretty much summed it up for me: [Cropsy] jumps out of an abandoned canoe and kills six of them at once. I don’t remember anything that came before or after those words but it stuck. With that permanently etched into my brain, I started my search for this one…with no luck. Most of the mom and pop video stores in the area were already starting to close their doors, losing out to the larger “discount” video houses that were part of and attached to major grocery store chains, so those more obscure horror titles were getting harder and harder to find. This one was one of them, to the point where I had to stop searching for it.

Everything would change the summer of 2001 – the time when my collecting hobby had just gotten its start - when one night I was browsing through what was on cable and I came across a commercial on HBO announcing that they would be showing this on a night I’d be working. Really? HBO was going to actually broadcast this?  I didn’t hesitate and I immediately set both my cable box and my VCR to record this and could not be more excited that I was finally going to get to see this in its entirety (along with The Stendhal Syndrome, which was to come out right after). A few nights later, I finally had the time to grab the popcorn, turn off my telephone and put this in the player. I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

So finally (after all the banter above), I’ll get to the film itself: At first viewing, I have to be honest when I say that I was wasn’t at all impressed with the film and immediately dismissed it as being just another run-of-the-mill Friday the 13^th doppelgänger. Sure, it had Holly Hunter, Fisher Stevens and Jason Alexander…but for me, there was nothing more to it than another backwoods I’ve-seen-it-all-before slasher.  And the scene where Cropsy does six of them at once? That one scene I’d been waiting to finally lay eyes on? All I could hear in my mind was the voice of Edina Monsoon: What, this?  I took the tape out of the VCR, placed it alongside the other cassettes in my collection at the time, and proceeded to forget that I’d even seen it.  Don’t gasp too hard yet, though. Allow me to present my defense: Before I pushed play on the VCR that night, I have to admit, I had no clue that not only was this a Weinstein production and that Mr. Tom Savini had worked on this film (and that he’d passed on Friday the 13^th – part 2 to do so), I was ignorant of the fact that I was watching a censored (cut) version. Yes, one of the rare times that Linus didn’t do his homework! Sacre bleu! So with the internet being somewhat available to me during my overnight work house, I started to do my research on this, albeit slowly.

I finally was able to get my hands on the U.S. Thorn/EMI white clamshell case version of this – the one I remember seeing at Ernie’s Video when I was a kid – about a year and half later on eBay while living in the Kansas City, Missouri area. By this time, I had learned everything I needed to know about this film: that it was loosely based on a New England urban legend of a murderer known as “The Cropsy Killer”, that the version I owned that had been released in the U.S. was incomplete, the whole “video nasty” scandal overseas, how Britain’s Thorn/EMI had accidentally released the uncensored cut of the film resulting in a slap on the hand by the BBFC only to make the same mistake twice (there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?), and thanks to a website known as Hysteria Lives!, I finally was able to behold the beauty of the infamous “raft scene” (the one where Cropsy kills six kids in less than two minutes?) in its complete, uncensored bitchin’ glory.  So at second viewing, I got much more out of it, aside from the “raft scene” having been mutilated and left for dead, of course. I was able to enjoy it in its follow-up run and was able to sit back and be able to actually see it as the above-than-average slasher that it is, contrary to what I’d first thought. The cast was well put together (I loved that Leah Ayres, who was in Bloodsport, was in this), some of the photography is excellent, and both the opening and closing scenes are classic scenes of classic camp slasher.

When it was first made known that it was finally going to be released on DVD, I can recall reading on countless forums about it – whether or not we were going to see an uncut print, curiosity if the original poster art was going to be used? When it was released in 2007, die-hard fans were given the long-awaited treat of the film being released complete and uncensored – regardless of the fact that MGM released it with an “R” rating on the sleeve (I want to say that they did so because they don’t release movies unrated? I could be wrong – I may be thinking of Paramount. I think they did it intentionally to give us what they knew we wanted, which if that is true, was a great move on their part). I’m not sure if a complete print had been ever available in the U.S. (aside from an Amazon-only exclusive VHS) so I wonder to myself if there was a fan of film (or an executive, maybe?) “on the inside” that pushed in some way to have an uncut version released to us (or at least knew where to obtain one). Believe me when I say that for that, we are very thankful – or at least I am, regardless if the DVD sleeve was missing the original poster art. MGM were also nice enough to not only give us the original trailer, but a must-see on-camera interview with Tom Savini. Just this one bonus feature is well worth the price of the disc as he goes into a very loving retrospect of his time working on the film and even goes into the behind-the-scenes of how he did the “raft-scene”, which has to be, hands down, one of the most amazing scenes in slasher history. Nothing can beat the shot of Cropsy shearing off Fisher Stevens’ fingers and how he holds them up as blood squirts out of them! If any of you all were here with me, I’d do the chest bump of triumph with you.

Though this film isn’t honestly relevant to slasher history here in the U.S. (Halloween and Friday the 13^th hold those top spots here), because of the reputation The Burning has gained over the years due to what it went through overseas and its problems with the BBFC – and just for the complete “raft scene”! – it is imperative that this find its way into your collection, especially now that it is readily available – and very inexpensive – to own.   Essential viewing? Yes. But you’re reading this, so I know you already have. 

The New York Ripper (1982)

I wish that I had the kind of memories of my first encounter with this film as I do the others that are on this blog. Usually I break into an immediate fondness and start recalling the many who-and-whatzits of where I was in life when I first held the video box to most of these titles because I like to share the manners in which I got to know some of these bad boys and girls. Now that I think back on all those mom-and-pop shops (and the not-so-mom-and-pops) I walked through during my teenage years, I don’t ever remember seeing this on any shelf – believe me, I’d remember that fantastic poster art! (I loved it so much it’s the banner of this blog!) Hmmm, why didn’t I ever see this one if I can recall boxes for Superstition and The Seven Doors of Death? I didn’t get into Italian sleaze cinema until the mid-to-late nineties, after I’d both discovered and then ridden the Suspiria train a few hundred-or-so times. By the time I did enough reading on this to go actually out and look for it, it was readily available on DVD so I apologize for not getting that warm-and-toasty feeling when I talk about The New York Ripper – though I honestly wish I could.

I started taking time to research titles and directors and slowly started to become more and more interested in films coming from that other end of the world. I wasn’t even aware at that time that horror films came out of any other country but the U.S. – as ridiculous as that sounds - and little did I know that a great deal of these films I was discovering would top most of the stuff I’d seen that was being home-brewed here. I came across this entry about two years after I’d already seen Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond and after reading about this particular one - and other films of his - on countless message boards over the internet and learning about its infamous reputation overseas, I couldn’t resist in tracking/picking up a copy of Blue Underground’s release at the local Rapsutin’s for under ten bucks just to see what the big deal was about. I won’t go into how it was one of the original (and more infamous) “Video Nasties” in Britain, how copies of it were famously escorted out of the country, and how it was banned outfight for many years, because if you’re a die-hard as I am, you already know everything there is to know about Lo Squartatore de New York.  I already knew who was in it before even sitting down to watch it: Andrea Occhipinti (A Blade In the Dark), Zora Kerova (who was in Cannibal Ferox) so with the experience I’ve had with horror films, I pretty much thought I had figured out how this was going to play out. If you’ve seen this (which you have – why else would you be reading this?), you know that I was completely wrong.

I won’t give away the details of the plot because somehow I have this pre-conceived notion that you’ve either already seen it or know enough about it to be interested in this post. And this is one of those films that I wouldn’t even think of giving away scene-by-scene because I want you, the reader, to be able to watch a film as this and form your own opinion (If you’ve read my review for “The Hazing” – you’ll note that I gave away the entire film, which actually caused someone who hadn’t seen it yet to send me a very nasty email). I do have to admit that I get such a laugh out of the film’s opening sequence and how it flawlessly breaks into a “CHiPS” kind of theme, musically. Many Italian-produced horror films (and their respective trailers) begin with (or shamelessly contain) this kind of cheesy disco-tinged track (Can you say, “Cannibal Ferox”, “The House on the Edge of the Park”?)

After a bizarre scene of a dog finding a random severed hand in a bush, we get introduced to the film’s premise: Someone in a [lousy] Donald Duck voice is killing people across New York City and the police force – complete with a closeted homosexual college psychoanalyst and a chief with a penchant for prostitutes - tries their best to solve the mystery. What ensues is nothing but trash and sleaze and still, after multiple viewings – as I’m doing now for purposes of this essay – manages to make me both cringe and howl in laughter, sometimes simultaneously. One of the film’s overall highlights, for me, is the photographing of the wonderfulness that is/was the old 42^nd Street, lovingly portrayed in gorgeous colors before the camera takes us to a live sex show and the extremely brutal murder of its actress by a broken bottle right-bloody-smack in the vajay-jay. I don’t think I’ve seen a murder executed anywhere else in horror history in that same manner. There is a cold darkness and feeling of hopelessness to the film that has to be experienced to be believed. This is no happy movie and that’s something I must stress. There is nothing redeemable about sitting through this piece of horror history. I sometimes try to figure out if the intention from the beginning was to prove a point by purposely making the film in an over-the-top fashion or if it just ended up that way once things were edited and put together. There are images so darky constructed that it does give a feeling of impending doom and for brief moments, we are watching a genuine horror film whose sole motive is to offend – and that it does. Then, just as one begins to get comfortable (or not so, depending on your taste), scenes such as the infamous “toe job” scene in the tavern interrupt and become perfect halfway-points between titillating and outright revolting but yet still manage to make me burst out loud in hysterics crying out, “What the f@#* was that?!”.

Conversely, there are moments such as the scene in the theater (the dream sequence) that are absolutely gorgeous. The poor girl alone having being chased by someone who just brutally attacked her and there is a deep helplessness in her eyes, as she looks around to see if he, the assaulter, can see her. Then, in a blinding light, she sees a familiar face and it suddenly slashes her with a razor point-blank. She screams over and over again until she wakes up only to find the familiar face [her boyfriend, Andrea Occhipinti] in the room with her. She slowly tells him her nightmare in detail, and then reveals to him that he was the one that assaulted her. That one scene is fantastic and probably my favorite scene in the entire film. Did I mention that I have a slight crush on Mr. Occhipinti?  His chiseled good looks, his brooding eyes, those amazing lips. Ever since my first viewing of A Blade in the Dark…and for the sake of this blog, I’ll stop there. 

One scene that drives me into fits of uncontrollable laughter is the scene when one of the detectives (the homosexual college psychoanalyst) is seen at a corner newsstand looking through porn magazines - gay porn magazines. I giggle because maybe I, myself, remember that part of the 80’s? It cracks me up how the cashier plays it off, stuffing an issue of Blueboy into a copy of the New York Times for him ever so discreetly. Suddenly, for a few brief moments, I’m a curious teenage boy again remembering…well, (pause) just remembering. The first time I watched this scene I admittedly had to rewind it and see it a few times on repeat. As I’m writing I wonder to myself if Mr. Fulci made this movie in the manner that he did to make a political statement or maybe, a disguised social commentary? Was he trying to make a point by being grossly misogynistic? The constant shots of New York’s seedy underground sex shops and neon lights (along with a theater marquee displaying a banner for Final Exam!) pave the way for scenes such as the slashing of the girl bound to the bed. The killer, as he caresses her body slowly with a razorblade, dancing along her skin as he laughs running it down her torso, opening her up and tearing her flesh apart. The slashing of her nipple and eyeball painted vividly and in such a grotesque and realistic fashion that you can’t help but scream as you’re watching.  On the imdb boards, someone even claims that this particular scene is cut and that it goes even further by having the girl get her crotch gruesomely slashed – which would make sense seeing that once the scene is over, the long shot once the cops are there shows her nether region mutilated.  

The climax of the film is fantastic, which I won’t give away and though it leaves the film overwhelmingly ambiguous, it’s still great. It’s one of those downbeat endings that leave you thinking, although you really don’t want to. It will leave you confused – as it is pretty far-fetched - and wanting more but yet in its own right it does the job. The final scene will leave you guessing but I’ll leave it at that.

In actuality, this film isn’t as graphic as it’s made out to be, but you do have to take into consideration the time in which it was released. For the 1980’s it was pretty brutal (the first murder in the car, that broken bottle to the vag, the sliced nipple and slice across the eyeball). Even by today’s standards some of the murders are pretty intense. The film does deliver a dank and putrid atmosphere but somehow doesn’t do it enough to drag you into its gaping jaws the way you’re expecting it to. Some of the sexuality in the film is more explicit than most were used to then (a toe job anyone? LOL!) and its tinged with enough sleaze and coarseness to fill a stew pot and feed a homeless shelter. That last sentence should tell you everything.

I really can’t say that this would be “essential” viewing, per se, but only because it’s one of the more notorious works by Mr. Fulci do I even recommend it. Just with its history and track record in Europe (and I believe, Australia) it’s one to look at, at least once. Fulci has plenty of hits and misses in his filmography but if you’re even the slightest bit curious, seek this one out. It’s available to rent via Netflix in both DVD form and instant streaming. Your jaw will drop and you’ll gasp out loud a few times without even knowing it. The rest of the time you’ll be laughing at the utterly ridiculous dialogue and at the ultra-random WTF moments scattered throughout – three fingered red herrings and all. I would , though, probably also recommend getting a warm bath (with a good antibacterial soap) ready just before pressing play on this evil little nasty, because with the filth and stench you’re going to have to endure, you will want to wash and scrub yourself down as hard as you can over and over again after you finish this!