The Outing (1987)

Picture it: Sicily, 1946. No, wait, that's a line from The Golden Girls. Let's try again. Picture it: La Feria, a small rural town in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas. It's a hot summer day in 1990 and yours truly here has just come out of the bathroom of the local Maverick Market off on old Highway 83. My father is putting gas in the family van and I've strayed away from the bunch, as I always did when I had the opportunity in those days. As I made my way to the store's exit to rejoin the rest of the clan, I saw a little video rental section out of the corner of my eye and without even thinking, made a B-line for it. Quickly, I scanned the merchandise to see what they had to offer and saw a slew of titles that I'd never seen before. At the bottom of the shelf, I picked up this box and stared lovingly at the fantastic art before me. I'm a sucker for good box art. Just look at the photo for the blog's banner taken from Video Gem's big box art for the film House of Death. Just amazing. As my father came into the store to have me escorted by the ear, I kept that neat picture in my head and stored it for future reference alongside the great box art of The Mutilator and Squirm. Little did I know that I wouldn't see this again until 2003.

There was a little mom and pop video shop in the lovely little city of Warrensburg, Missouri called Video Castle that I frequented due to it's low rental prices and no membership fee. "Membership fee" - when was the last time you heard that term? My kid sister had introduced me to the place and I immediately fell in love with it due to it's vast collection of out of print and very hard to find 80's horror titles. Up to then and not since the 80's had I seen such a wide VHS horror collection as they boys showcased. I was a bit jealous, let me tell you, and within those great forgotten titles like Cheerleader Camp and Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, was this little piece. As many times as I'd been in there and as many times as I rented, I never picked this one up. Soon enough, as all mom and pops did, they fell victim to converting the whole store into the DVD format and all their older titles - and I mean all of them - went on sale for the low price...of 49 cents. When I heard the news, I got into my car and rushed over only to be disappointed in seeing that most of the good horror titles had been sold, including this one. Though I did manage to rescue several ones that were on my list, this one was still one of those elusive videocassettes I thought would forever be out of my reach.

I did some reading on this title on various other horror sites and I was disappointed to read that this was just another bad piece of 80's horror history. It didn't seem to have any redeeming values or qualities, that the story was bad and it was just outright pointless. I got to exchange emails with several horror collectors on-line and they all had the same opinion. I was crushed. There wasn't any way that a film with such great box art would end up being a 10-ton bomb, could there? Needless to say, last month I was finally to get this on DVD-R through a collector's website and I was excited that I finally had it. Seeing that it had taken me this long to just find the film itself in any format, I told myself that I would put everyone's reviews and opinions aside and judge it on my own.

The basis of the story is that a mysterious lamp and a mystical bracelet are recovered from the scene of crime when a group of thugs vandalize an old woman's home, leaving her for dead. The items are turned over to the local museum and curator Dr. Wallace (played by daddy eye-candy James Huston) who is in charge of finding out their origins. While vising him one day, his daughter Alex (Andra St. Ivanyi) sees the lamp as suddenly has an immediate attraction to it. The lamp itslef is a prime example how one piece of critical prop can make or break a film. In this case, whomever was responsible for the creation of lamp really outdid themselves. Sleek design, crafty artsmanship and just the touch it needs to be memorable: the small hand on the end of the lamp that hold the red jewel. Absolutely beautiful. Alex begins to obsess over the lamp, even going as far as to steal the bracelet from the museum and ask her schoolteacher if there are such things as genies. Her curiosity grows until she one day grabs hold of the lamp and accidentally lets out the contents. When she is chastised by her father for messing with the darn thing, she spits out the usual teenaged tantrum and even goes as far as to say, "I wish you were dead." to poor dear ol' dad. She is soon possessed by the spirit of what's inside the lamp and, as corny as all this sounds, it actually holds up in the end. When her classmates attend a field trip to the museum, the "spirit" gets her to convice several of her best friends, including her beau, to sneak into the museum once everyone has gone for the night to have a sleepover. I mean, she's the daughter of one of the curator's, right? Why wouldn't she be able to have access to the place? But here is the little twist: Once all the kids are in the museum basement and once all the doors are locked for the night, the spirit leaves Alex and she becomes confused as to why she - and everyone else - are in the museum at all.

The group then remembers why they are there - to have fun, drink, and sex each other up, as they do in these kinds of films. But mysteriously, the kids are all picked off one by one, along with the remaining staff on board including the head curator and an opera-toting - and rather obnoxious - secutiry guard which are gloriously slaughtered by means of ceiling fan and large harpoon, respectively. The films suddenly turns into an all-too fun game of cat and mouse as Alex tries to comprehend just what's going on. The best scene in the whole film was the "death by snakes", watch it and see what I mean. It made my skin crawl, and not in the good way. That scene itself was one of the most inventive - and by the way, eerie - death scenes I'd ever seen in a teen slasher pic.

Now we will touch on the subject of the actual genie, or "Djinn" as it is referred to here. We all were brought up with the stories of Ali Baba and the Forty theievs and the younger generation was raised on the Disney classic, so we all know when you release a genie, he grants you one wish as a token of gratitude for setting him free. See where I'm going with this? Well, it turns out that the "Djinn" isn't after Alex, he's after her father in the goal of fulfilling her wish! What wish, you ask? The one she muttered without thinking at the film's opening! Now is it coming together? So that's the reason the bracelet on her wrist glows! Not because the genie is in pursuit of her, but because the genie is actually determined to grant her wish! So with this in mind, we finally get to see the demon, sorry, the genie face to face. Now, seeing how great the film was up to this exact point is something to marvel in itself, but once the bad boy is actually materialized, oh Lord, is it funny. I think they found the poor chap in the bargain bin at Muppet Remnants R Us, because it totally shows. Now in fear of their lives, Alex and her dad have to find the mystery of the lamp and figure out how to defeat it. With the aide of a strategically placed Commodore 64 (did I just say that?) they find out that the only way to destroy the genie is to destroy the lamp! Now who would have thought that one out, right? To make this discombobulated long ending short, the "Djinn" just about destroys Alex's father but once the lamp is thrown into the even-more strategically placed incinerator, the darn things explodes in a fiery frenzy and poof! just like that, the story comes to a close and all can live happily ever after.

The film as a whole, honestly, isn't that great. But it's got so much going it for it in terms of camp and eighties references that you can't help but like it. In terms of the murder sequences, just the whole "Snake Bath" scene is enough to give you the heebies. I don't know why so many horror fans have a complete "I loved it" or "This movie sucks" viewpoint toward this hidden fun fest. For all the time I waited to finally set eyes on this one, it was a great payoff. Kids in 80's gear with their hi-top shoes, leg warmers and boom boxes, the cheesy synth music in the background, you just can't resist. This one is a real hard one to find, folks, but if you see it, please do me the honor of picking this up! Give it a try and you'll see what I mean. Just don't make any wishes you really don't want to have come true.

Basket Case (1982)

As I mentioned in a previous post, some horror films are made in the attempt to outright shock the hell out of you. I love to see those old posters with warnings across them and unforgettable tag lines that stayed in your mind. I love to see the uniqueness of the poster art and the thinking behind some of those now-famous and collectible pieces. That's why I miss the horror trash of the eighties - it seemed that every B-horror film maker with the smallest of budgets was just out to see how low they could sink and how much they could gross you out. From horrific styles of murder and gore to stupid plot lines with deranged characters, 80's films hold their spots in history. Before they existed, there was nothing like them. And in today's modern world, there's nothing that could hold a torch to them. Whether it was to establish a reputation is to be argued by some, but Mr. Frank Henenlotter shocked the horror world when Basket Case was unleashed back in 1982. And I know if you're reading this, you're laughing to yourself because you've seen it and love it.

I first saw the VHS of this film at El Chaparral Supermarket in La Feria, Texas about mid 1986. I remember staring at the cover of Belial creeping out of the basket as it looked back at me and for weeks, I wouldn't pick the cover up. Every time I was in the store, I looked at the box but never held it. As stupid as that sounds, I must have been about 13 at the time, but one day I did and when I saw the horrific images on the back of the box, I remember throwing the box back onto the rental shelf, heart beating rapidly, and my imagination raced as to what kind of horror film this must be. I immediately vowed that I would never see it as something this horrifying would mess me up for life. And I held that promise to myself even seeing the box over and over again at various rental places and grocery stores as years went by. That is, until 2005, when the local mom and pop was easing out their VHS inventory to make room for DVD and this was on the seller's block for a measly $2.50. Hey, I was already in my thirties, right? How bad could this really be? I'd sat through atrocities like I Spit on Your Grave and The Last House on the Left, so this should be a piece of cake, right? Right...?

The plot is quite simple: Duane Bradley (Kevin Van Henteryck) makes a trip to New York and checks into the Hotel Broslin with a large basket in his hand. Being questioned by everyone wherever he goes, he keeps the contents of the basket secret and visits several doctors in the area. But there's a reason why he's visiting them. You see, Duane has a secret: In the basket, he carries around his twin brother Belial, who isn't really human per se, but a blob of skin and organs with no legs and two stout arms. They were separated by the evil Doctor Kutter (Diana Browne) and the boys have come to take their revenge on her and Doctor Needleman (Lloyd Pace) for separating them. The twins have a bond, a connection as all twins do, but since Belial cannot speak, he can communicate telepathically with his brother Duane and vice-versa. Belial spends most of his time quiet inside the basket, but when he finds out that Duane has found a love interest by means of the secretary at the doctor's office named Sharon (Terri Susan Smith), Belial wants out, and he'll do what it takes to break them apart.

Filled with humor and some of the sickest murders ever, this film is something you have to see to believe. The boys wreak havoc on those who cross their paths and Belial wastes no time in disposing of them, in rather ultra-violent ways. Some of the murders are so over the top, you wonder how people back them could stomach them. But what I love most are the scenes where Belial 'comes to life' in the form of stop-motion animation. That's right, stop-motion animation. It makes you laugh and creeps you out at the same time to see the little wad of skin and blood move around and it's something I can guarantee that you've never seen before and will never see again in a film of this nature. How this didn't get a slap on the wrist by the MPAA is pretty astounding. At least, I haven't read anywhere that this film was threatened with an X-rating. It should have, though. It pushes so many envelopes, and it pushes them off the table and onto the floor. Most of the film takes place within the Hotel Broslin, which provided the perfect sleazy setting for this kind of motion picture. It's dark, dingy, and you can smell it from a mile away. It reeks of the old days of 42nd Street - and there's even a scene where Duane is walking down the street in front those cheap and dirty theatres while being haggled by a fellow offering him every drug in the book. I always love to see scenes like those. One of the best scenes is is when Duane recalls the day him and Belial were separated. Totally cheap and totally fake, but you can't take your eyes off the screen. And the death of Doctor Kutter remains one of my all-time favorite murders and is one of the highlights you can't miss.

The pinnacle of the film is when Belial finally can take no more and escapes from his basket to roam around New York. Tired of being copped up and tired of living under his brother's thumb - and jealous of the woman Duane has found - he goes missing and the hunt is on to find the missing twin. Where he is finally found and what he is doing when they find him will actually have you saying out loud, "Oh, I think I threw up a little. (gagging noise)" It isn't pretty, kids, and it's something you don't expect. This turn of events causes the brothers to feud until they are hanging off the Hotel Broslin's sign hanging over the street below and end up on the pavement next to each other. 


Not to worry, Basket Case 2 was made several years later, so the story of the Bradley boys doesn't end here. If you're not already a fan of this film, you need to be. Thankfully, Something Weird released this on DVD a few years back and though it's not entirely cleaned up, it still looks damn good. The bonus material is great, especially some of the outtakes and alternate takes. They're worth looking at. Along with the two trailers, there's a radio spot or two. But you've got to take time and see the featurette, "In Search of the Hotel Broslin" in which Frank Henenlotter himself guides us through some of the many areas used during filming. Everything from the apartment building where the hotel stood to the building where the sign hung, to the S&M club that the bar scenes and basement scenes were shot in. And if you watch it, ignore the goof that's tagging around Henenlotter like a sick puppy, with nothing clever to say but emit a grunt here and there. Wait, he's a rapper? I rest my case. The SW DVD is marked unrated and I haven't seen the feature in its entirety to tell you how it compares to the Media VHS version that I also own.

Hands down, get this. I picked this up at Rasputin's new for less than $9. Even if you pay a little more than that, it's worth every penny. There is nothing like a bloody exploitation cheesy film to make a rainy day. And there's no film more bloody, exploitative and outright cheesy than this one. Shocking at times, hilarious at others, this belongs in your collection.

Here's one of the short (but sweet) trailers:

The Undertaker and His Pals (1966)

Every so often, I will come across a film by accident that will completely take me by surprise. Sometimes I'll pick up a film just for the cover art, or I'll pick it up because I've heard about the film, and other times, as in this case, I'm purchasing a film which has another attached to it. Every Halloween, I'll make a round through all the local retail stores and see who has cheap horror films for sale to celebrate the season.


 Every so often, I'll find a good deal on a DVD that I already have on VHS cheap, or something will catch my eye. This year, I got to see a slew of compilations put out by TGG Direct - with some gruesome Rob Zombie-esque cover art - for the nice price of $5. Most of the films they were showcasing were ones I already had in my collection but I picked up one particular set because it had Pieces and I don't have that one on DVD format. At the end of the compilation's second disc was this film, nice and tucked away. I'd never heard of it so I thought I'd give it a try and all I can say is that I was really surprised.

The film opens up with a beautifully sequenced, or should I say, choreographed scene of three motorcycles in the night doing circles on a city street. Three motorcycles head off to a small apartment on the other side of town and end up killing a beautiful girl and hacking her to pieces. Her name? Sally Lamb. There's a reason I mention her name but I'll get to that shortly. Cut to a small funeral home where an undertaker with no name - played by Ray Dannie - is performing the funeral service for poor Sally. The murder is then investigated by a handsome private eye with a beautiful secretary who's trying to get him to marry her. Deciding to talk about it over lunch, they go to a small diner and what do you know? The chef's special is Lamb's Leg. Oh yes, I went there. The diner is owned by two low lives who are trying to strum business by getting the undertaker to supply the meat for the restaurant. Get the idea now? This movie must have caused a sir back in the late sixties. Gore, trash, sleaze, it's all there and yours for the taking. I don't want to give much of the plot away but this was probably one of the funniest slasher films I've ever seen. This was probably the predecessor to future classics such as Blood Feast and Motel Hell as the tongue-in-cheek humor mixed with blood and gore are enough to please. The film has a very dark tone but you don't really don't feel it, mainly because you actually get familiar with the characters and start liking them for the sheer comic value of their personalities. The movie is a laugh riot and before I knew it, I was really into the film and wondered to myself just how many people this film grossed out back in its drive-in heyday.

This took me by complete surprise and it's now in my top list of funny horror films, beating out Motel Hell by a long shot. If you can be patient - even with its very short 63 minute running time - and give this a chance, you'll end up loving it and wonder where it'd been hidden for so long. The best part of this whole film is the treat the producers give you at the end: when all the dead victims 'come back from the dead' to give one last bow and smile to the cameras. I apologize that this review is really short, but seriously, if you've seen the other two films I mentioned, you're already familiar with this type of plot. I've seen this on many of those 'multi-film' compilations and just last week I saw this one alone selling for about $2 in the bargain bin. If you see it, grab it, it's worth the price and worth investing your time in. You'll be laughing at the camp silliness - seriously, some of these scenes are a total laugh and a half - and paradoxical gross out factor - there are some genuine slasher scenes - that this has to offer. Look for this one. You will be smiling at the end during the closing credits and you'll want to see it again, just for the comedic value and you'll sit there wondering just how director T.L.P Spicewood got the nerve to not only write this film, but helm it as well.

Have fun with the trailer!