Friday the 13th - Part 3 (1982)

The Friday the 13^th franchise – up until it was taken over by New Line Cinema  - has a special place in my heart. It’s really hard to explain why, but I’ll sum it up by saying that the first film in the series was the very first horror film I was exposed to when I was seven years old. It was actually the very first entry in this blog I did about three years ago and you can find it here if you’re interested. You can probably say that I was “traumatized” by it seeing is that I saw pieces of it at a very young age and it wasn’t until I was a pre-teen that was able to see it in its entirety. It’s no wonder I’m so messed up. Maybe I can blame all those camping trips I was forced to take every summer and being in the exact surroundings as the ones shown in these movies. Maybe I can blame my father for thinking it was cute to sit me through most of it thinking it wouldn’t affect me [the whole story on that is documented in the very first LL80sH entry, as well]. Well, it did, and it did in a rather big way. I was never the same after that one summer day back in 1982 and since that time, I have slowly became a prisoner to the slasher film, to which I am now serving a life-sentence. 

My first encounter with part III (can anyone tell me why it’s labeled as “part 3” on the poster but registered and show in the trailer(s) and the actual film as “part III”?) was in 1983. My family was on a shopping trip to the Fresno Zody’s (Wow, I bet it’s been years since you’ve heard that chain mentioned) and located right next to it was a UA movie theater. I remember stepping off the car and looking up into the sky to see the yellow marquee emblazoned with huge red letters saying, “FRIDAY THE 13^TH – PART 3 in 3D”. I remember staring at it behind me as I walked into the store with my folks. That stayed with me. Months later, I came face to face with the poster at All That Video in Reedley – I don’t know why it scared me, but it did. The knife coming though the shower curtain with the knife coming through it – which, nothing of the sort was shown during the film. See below! – was an image I never forgot. (Speaking of: (slightly off-topic) I remember seeing a video poster for Part 2 in that same store that was comprised of only the head of Mrs. Voorhees. It scared the shit out of me then and I’ve never been able to locate it anywhere, even online. I wonder if I conjured that up in my own imagination?) 

My kid brother has an unhidden love for this one. Mainly because he has a soft spot (or better yet, a hard-on) for Dana Kimmel who was in Lone Wolf McQuade (one of his favorite films), but I know her as the little girl from Sweet Sixteen. But, before we get to her and the other actors, let’s start from el principio. This is not one of my favorite entries in the series. With every *gasp* out there I just heard, let me clarify by stating that I didn’t say I didn’t like the film, it’s just not one of my favorites -  which is funny because I’ve sat through this one a million times as the first three were the very first horror films I owned on videocassette as a teenager. Because of my “traumatizing” from the first film so young, I used to stand and hover over these at any/every video store we went to and there was a feeling of terror that would begin at the pinnacle of my scalp and travel rapidly down the back of my spine until it reached my toes. Especially when looking at the box art to this one. I can’t explain why, it just did.

 There is something about the atmospheres of parts 1 and 2 that still give me chills to this day. There’s a pronounced feeling of impending doom that I’m sorry to say the third installment lacks. Sure, it’s set on the usual clichéd “house in the middle of the country”-type setting, save for the campgrounds of the introductory two films, giving us a change in scenery of sorts to set up the Jason character in a deeper perspective. You can still feel the sadness of Part 2 in the opening flashback sequence, but once the camera looms down onto Jason with the machete stuck inside him and then we see him take it out, you can’t help but feel inclined to scoff loudly. I mean seriously, it just so happens Jason was strong enough and able to remove that big ‘ol machete from deep inside his shoulder?

 Now, let’s cut to the opening credits and that addicting disco song. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not chastising it in any way. In fact, I love that it oozes New Order’s “Blue Monday” – speaking in terms of the similarities in percussion, drum programming, and throbbing synth bass line – from all sides and love how eerily effective it really is. It was good enough to be a single and surprisingly, can still hold its own this many years later. Not for anything, but the theme on its own makes up the better part of the film.

 So we all know the movie’s premise and that Jason gets his trademark hockey mask in this installment and blah-blah-blah. That’s not what I’d really like to talk about because as horror fans – especially of this particular franchise – we know everything there is to know about them. We’ve done research, we’ve gone to and read information on website upon website, and we consider ourselves “pros” when it comes to trivia about these films. We know the running-scenarios: The group’s encounter with a Crazy Ralph-esque loon on their way to the campsite, the couple to have sex during the middle of the film get the worst death(s) (Jack and Marcie, Jeff and Sandra and now Debbie and Andy), the final girls’ boyfriend is always killed penultimately (Bill in part 1, Paul in part 2, and now Rick) and so on.  Some of the murder sequences in the film aren’t all that impressive, save Andy’s awesome torso-split-by-a-machete demise. Vera’s arrow-to-the-eye death was fantastic, also, but it loses a lot of clout due to the obvious wire that comes out from the gun as it hurls toward her. The others are cookie-cutter and unimaginative even with the whole 3D going on (Can you say “Rick’s obviously fake eye”?). And usually I wouldn’t complain about something like this, but if I see a girl taking a shower alone in a slasher film, I do expect to see her slashed to bits, especially if the one-sheet hanging in the theater suggests it.

 I wish that I could have seen this in its anaglyphic 3D version when it was first released. There is something about the standard “blue and red” 3D version on the deluxe edition DVD that just doesn’t do it for me. When it was first released, I sat down in front of a big-screen television and popped this in the player, slid on my 3D glasses and held my breath because I was finally going to see this the way it was meant to be seen. Or so I thought. Jason didn’t even get past Higgin’s Haven before I switched over to the original 2D version. I was disappointed, but at least it was available in 3D period.

 So why is it that I’m not awed by this one? I could sit here all night and point out every reason but we won’t go there. The ones that bug me the most though, are the so-called “backstory” between Chris and Jason. Her monologue to Rick as she recounts her nightmare encounter with Mr. Voorhees has got to be one of the most laughable in horror history. It’s so over-acted, it’s so inane and so unbelievable that you have no choice but to buy it. So was Jason following her? Is that why he showed up and recognized her enough to lift up his mask and make sure she knew who he was at the film’s finale? Was there more to their relationship than she led on? Because I’d like to know more about the alternate ending that was never used. You know, the one where Jason beheads her? I have this idea that Jason knew Chris more than she was willing to admit. That would explain why she is so terrified of him to the point of madness. But, this is only my opinion. They should have put the stills of this ending on the DVD so everyone could see it and make their own decision of which one could have/would have been better. Because this whole “let’s-copy-the-first-ending-but-replace-Jason-with-Mrs.-Voorhees-and-maybe-nobody-will-notice” ending really stinks, let’s be honest. To me, it felt like a cop out. As if the ending was thrown together because maybe the Chris-gets-her-head-chopped-off ending wasn’t going to work? Or would it have worked so well that the heads at Paramount didn’t want to risk it and order the generic re-tread of the first film’s scare the green light?

 Hands down, it isn’t the best in the series for me. But, it isn’t the worst either. That honor goes to parts V and Jason Takes Manhattan. I will admit that is has its moments worth looking at and it does have its charm in some spots. Keep in your collection for just the historical value and what this entry brought into the mainstream: a horror icon that forever has its place in pop culture and the lives of millions. 

The Neighbor (Il Vicino Di Casa) (Dario Argento's "Door Into Darkness" Episode 1) (1973)

So if you don’t know that I’m a Dario Argento fan, let’s throw that card out on the table right now and get it over with: Ever since I first laid eyes on Suspiria back in the mid-nineties, it was true love from that moment on. I now own the majority of his films ranging from The Bird with the Crystal Plumage all the way to Trauma and Sleepless and everything in between- save for some of the ones that really didn’t end up floating my boat, which were only a few. Without going into the details of the how and why – because we could be here all night – for me, the man is fantastic and a true influential innovator when it comes to the horror genre. Up until a few weeks ago, I had no idea that in the early 1970’s he had done a made-for-television series in Italy. I knew that Lucio Fulci had done his House Of…series – in which I own two entries, The Sweet House of Horrors and The House of Clocks, so of course, I was immediately interested. I wasn’t able to find it for a decent prince over the internet – and by “decent” I mean “a price I was willing to pay” - so I consider myself very lucky to have found it by accident last night at the Fresno Rasputin’s for the low price of $11.99. Without even thinking, I yanked it off the shelf and made a dash for the cash register. Well, actually, I spent about an hour and half with it under my arm before I actually left the store - which always happens when I make a Rasputin’s stop - but I made sure that it went home with me. Mya Communications – who, conversely, released Argento’s own Four Flies on Grey Velvet – is the company that put this out. Solely on the merits of how great of a job they did with FFOGV, I knew that this 2-disc set was going to be just as good. 

With every episode being just under an hour in length, I immediately decided that I would do a separate review for each of the four episodes, as doing them all in one entry here wouldn’t be such a great idea. Most film reviews, especially in this genre and on a blog like this, shouldn’t take more than ten to fifteen minutes to read, if that. Plus, by the time I got home and popped this into the player, it was after midnight and I didn’t have the strength or the energy to sit through the entire set in one night. So I sat back in bed, grabbed a pillow and selected the first episode, “Il Vicino di Casa (The Neighbor)”:

If you’re even thinking of getting your hands on this set, let me immediately warn you that if you’re expecting something digitally re-mastered and fancy, you’re facing major disappointment. According to the opening screen, the original film elements of this series no longer exist leaving Maya no choice but to use old television tapes from RAI (Radiotelevisione Italiana) and use them as masters. I’m going to be honest and say that normally, I would be just a wee bit frustrated with that but for this series, it works. I will explain why later on. The episode begins with Argento himself hosting the show and giving a little overview of the idea of fear and how differently it affects us. And let me tell you, Sir Dario looks as chilling as he ever did, does, or ever will. It then cuts to the director himself (or his doppelganger) looking into the hood of his car that’s just broken down in the middle of the highway. He is picked up by a young couple, Luca (a very handsome actor by the name of Aldo Reggiani) and Stefania (a beautiful actress named Laura Belli) and their infant son who will become the main characters of this episode.

We cut to the interior of an apartment to an older, spectacled man (Mimmo Palmara) standing in front of a coatrack as his wife, who is bathing, asks him for her bathrobe…more than once. He appears distraught and irritated, to the point to where he slowly takes the belt off the bathrobe and proceeds to the bathroom with the idea now in his head that maybe getting rid of her once in for all will be a good idea. But will he do it?

Luca and Stefania arrive late that night and by a stroke of bad luck, get their car stuck in the sand and are unable to get it out. Frustrated and too tired to do anything else, they come to the lovely beachside apartment building they are moving into and try to find a place to put their son down for the night. After lighting a solitary candle and scoping out their new surroundings, they settle down for the night and watch television together: an airing of Frankenstein that Luca has been looking forward to. As they sit together and bask in the light of the candle – that is slowly burning out – Stefania looks up at the ceiling and sees a huge water spot in the corner of the room, coming from the apartment above them, where the older spectacled man and his now possibly deceased wife reside. Not knowing if the above neighbors know what’s going on with their water pipes, Luca makes his way upstairs to knock on the door and make sure everything is OK. With no answer, he goes back downstairs only to come back later as the water spot grows and grows. Stefania now becomes worried and when Luca buzzes the door with no answer the second time, he takes it upon himself to turn the doorknob, and walks inside.

I’m really torn between telling you the entire story and letting you find out on your own what transpires from this point.  And I’m being serious when I’m telling you that I’m fighting with myself as I write this because from this point on, the tension rises rather quickly, and effectively. Though Argento himself produced the entire series, this episode was directed by fellow italo-director Luigi Cozzi (Contamination) and it looks and feels like he took great notes from the Master himself. It shifts suddenly from a soft expository piece (it takes a while to “get going” because we’re given some time to really get to know the two main characters)  to a semi-claustrophobic piece of terror. And it’s a great piece overall, and I’m surprised that something this terrifying and great was allowed on television back in the 70’s...in Italy. From the homework I’ve done on this series, it was the first to break the ground rules of how much terror could be shown on Italian television. The entire episode screams of influences from Hitchcock, mirroring Rear Window in many ways (even reminding me of more modern fare such as Disturbia) and director Cozzi manages to transition from tranquility to intensity quickly and almost seamlessly. 

The set pieces are absolutely gorgeous. The apartment building is painted stark white from the inside, totally foreshadowing, in my opinion, the way the color scheme will be for Tenebre. The house and its surroundings remind me of my childhood/teenage summers in Mexico. The doors are simply hinged and lined with wood paneling. I felt like I was back at my grandmother’s again back in the late 80’s. Immediately, I made a connection with the house and how it is deceitfully warm and welcoming. The atmosphere was too familiar for me so you know that the film had me in its grip just with that. The house itself and everything within it can also be seen as symbolism. The apartment is empty when they arrive, just as their new lives are and everything they own is coming later (which will be shown in the episode’s conclusion). The choppy and active sea next to where they live foreshadows the rough terrain they are about to go through - and most importantly, the candle itself that is next to them. It starts off brand new – just like their new lives in the new apartment. Slowly, but surely, it burns shorter and shorter and just as it slowly melts away and dies out, showing just how much time they have left and if you pay attention closely enough, it’s almost like a clock, giving the climax just after its gone out. So when Luca goes back upstairs after realizing that he left his lighter in the bathroom next to what they’ve discovered, all hell quickly breaks loose.

I may just have to post a link here so you can watch this because the final act is fantastic (Update: Only the introduction by Argento to this episode is online). Even for television in the mid-70’s, it packs a wallop and I don’t know how this would even pass today by network standards. I honestly wasn’t expecting much since this was an Italian horror television series – and if you’ve seen Fulci’s The Sweet House of Horrors, you know exactly what I’m referring to – but this was a great surprise and is now going into the ranks of top television horror for me. When the neighbor comes back and finds that Luca was walking around in his apartment, the game changes to a hostage situation which is destined to end in a deadly fashion. But pay close attention, because while Luca and Stefania are bound and held by the villain, and while he’s is out digging up holes in the sand to bury not only the evidence of the crime he’s committed, but Luca and Stefania as well,  there’s a piece of the original puzzle that disappears for a while. And the emotions and terror are so well executed, leaving you so involved in what’s happened to them, that you actually don’t notice that piece of the puzzle is missing. And it’s a very important one because it comes up at the close of the third act…and you completely don’t see it coming, or can you? The final scene is chilling and effectively done in a manner that left me pondering on its ambiguousness. Why did it end the way it did? Was it written that way and why weren’t we able to find out what ultimately transpired? Why was I left to make my own conclusion? Why was there no denouement?? Even 24 hours later, I’m still thinking about it. And that’s what I love about some Italian films, that some end in the most bizarre, sudden and absurd manner that you can’t help but hurl expletives at the television. You toss the remote to one side and swear to yourself that you’ll never lay eyes on one again. Yeah, I say that each time. Yet, here I am.

Get this one if you can locate it. I’m not sure if it’s out of print yet or had a limited print run, but the set has 2 discs with all four episodes and the classic documentary Dario Argento: Master of Horror (also directed by Cozzi), which you already know is essential viewing if you’re even a remote Argento aficionado. I’m glad that the set was not re-mastered and was presented in the manner in which it is. With the lights off, it actually feels like you’re watching it during its first run airing, resembling that you’re watching it secretly in your parent’s living room way after bedtime. And any horror fan my age remembers doing that. You feel cozy, secure and young again. For a little while, it’s 1973 and let me say that I miss the simplicity that some films can bring, especially thrillers like this one. I’ve learned with films such as this that gore is never necessary to achieve a good scare, and let me say that there is not a drop of blood in this film. But it wasn’t needed at all. It is well-deserving of multiple viewings, by far.  

Allow me to conclude by saying that with the film’s closing moments, you will never hear the sound of a baby’s cry the same ever again. Shit. I’ve said too much. 

Godetevi il filmato!

The Burning (1981)

One of my very first horror-related memories is completely owned by The Burning.

In some of my earlier reviews, I talk very briefly about a small mom-and-pop video store that was located in Reedley, California in the early eighties. This place was very small, but housed a lot of the horror I would come to know and love in the future. It was one of the very few video rental places in the little city we lived in and my parents frequented it quite regularly so it was the very first exposure I had to the home video revolution that was just beginning. Writing that last sentence just made me homesick for the 1980’s, when large, bulky VCR’s (like my parent’s Quasar model) were the only things available and little independent shops lined with mahogany shelves filled with videocassettes in random order and smelling of popcorn started popping up slowly in every town.  The days of membership and rewind fees…they’re all gone. It makes me sad that all of that is just a distant memory now, what with the advent of DVD, and the death of the video rental stores altogether (Thank you, Redbox and Netflix). Let’s stop there, because I’ll get all soft. And I know if you read those last few sentences, you may be feeling the same way now.

 Since the last time I was active on this blog, I met a woman that lived in the apartment below me after just having moved into a new building in 2010. A good gal, she became interested in my horror film collection and one night while helping her cook dinner, we got into a deep conversation about how my fascination with said horror began and I started telling her about the little video shop that I still hold onto for dear life and as I went on and on, she stopped in her tracks. She turned around and said, “Are you talking about the video store that used to be downtown next to the old ice cream parlor?”  I froze. How did she know that? I’d mentioned it to so many people who had no clue to what I was talking about to the point to where I’d already convinced myself that I’d possibly dreamed (or at least semi-fabricated) its existence. About ten years ago, I even went as far as to contact the local chamber of commerce to see if any record of the video store was available for viewing so I could at least rest knowing that it wasn’t a figment of my imagination, with no answer from them, of course.

The hour that followed was life-changing. Not only did she know about the store and its name, but it turns out that her grandfather and father owned and ran it! My lifelong search was finally over! Ernie’s Video – as it was known – was opened at the beginning of the 80’s and closed sometime before 1989. I couldn’t even begin to tell her all the fond memories I had of that place and it turns out that I remembered more of the store than she did. Everything from the store’s layout, the color and style of the front door with the little bell that hung around the doorknob to the way the shelves were set up (and the exact direction in which the videocassettes were placed and how they faced). I went on and on about the clear casings that housed some of the more “forbidden titles” that were under the store’s countertops, and the five posters that hung in the store that forever stand out in my memory: Altered States hung in the front window facing the sidewalk. Maniac hung next to the interior door that led into the back area. The half-sized standee of Zombie that sat on the counter on the right side of the store. And the most memorable one of all, the full-sized one sheet of The Burning that was taped to a mirror that overlooked the entire store. That was the one I never forgot.

I was lucky enough to meet her father later on and reminisce with him about the store. What was strange was that I had more recollection of it than he did, which he found very amusing. Don’t get me wrong, he did remember its existence and was tickled pink to hear how much of it I still remembered. I asked him if he had any pictures of the store or anything that was saved from it, just to finally prove to myself that I didn’t concoct the entire thing in my head, because believe me, I was already convincing myself that I’d either made it all up or had dreamt it while I was a kid.  He was nice enough to give me an original Ernie’s Video baseball cap that had managed to survive all these years and a small roll of the silver decals that went on the sides of the VHS cassettes that had the original address, phone number and logo of the store. I was ecstatic. I couldn’t even express how happy I was that I could finally rest knowing that I wasn’t crazy! Right now the cap and decals are in storage so as soon as I can get them out, I will post pictures of them so you all can see. Hallelujah, I’m not sick after all! Oh, wait….

So the first “re-introducing” of this film came in the early 1990’s by means of the book Don’t Look In The Shower! that I picked up one afternoon at the local library – during the period that I was on the cusp of becoming the extreme die-hard that I am now. There was a short essay in which The Burning was named and quickly reviewed and I will never forget that once sentence that pretty much summed it up for me: [Cropsy] jumps out of an abandoned canoe and kills six of them at once. I don’t remember anything that came before or after those words but it stuck. With that permanently etched into my brain, I started my search for this one…with no luck. Most of the mom and pop video stores in the area were already starting to close their doors, losing out to the larger “discount” video houses that were part of and attached to major grocery store chains, so those more obscure horror titles were getting harder and harder to find. This one was one of them, to the point where I had to stop searching for it.

Everything would change the summer of 2001 – the time when my collecting hobby had just gotten its start - when one night I was browsing through what was on cable and I came across a commercial on HBO announcing that they would be showing this on a night I’d be working. Really? HBO was going to actually broadcast this?  I didn’t hesitate and I immediately set both my cable box and my VCR to record this and could not be more excited that I was finally going to get to see this in its entirety (along with The Stendhal Syndrome, which was to come out right after). A few nights later, I finally had the time to grab the popcorn, turn off my telephone and put this in the player. I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

So finally (after all the banter above), I’ll get to the film itself: At first viewing, I have to be honest when I say that I was wasn’t at all impressed with the film and immediately dismissed it as being just another run-of-the-mill Friday the 13^th doppelgänger. Sure, it had Holly Hunter, Fisher Stevens and Jason Alexander…but for me, there was nothing more to it than another backwoods I’ve-seen-it-all-before slasher.  And the scene where Cropsy does six of them at once? That one scene I’d been waiting to finally lay eyes on? All I could hear in my mind was the voice of Edina Monsoon: What, this?  I took the tape out of the VCR, placed it alongside the other cassettes in my collection at the time, and proceeded to forget that I’d even seen it.  Don’t gasp too hard yet, though. Allow me to present my defense: Before I pushed play on the VCR that night, I have to admit, I had no clue that not only was this a Weinstein production and that Mr. Tom Savini had worked on this film (and that he’d passed on Friday the 13^th – part 2 to do so), I was ignorant of the fact that I was watching a censored (cut) version. Yes, one of the rare times that Linus didn’t do his homework! Sacre bleu! So with the internet being somewhat available to me during my overnight work house, I started to do my research on this, albeit slowly.

I finally was able to get my hands on the U.S. Thorn/EMI white clamshell case version of this – the one I remember seeing at Ernie’s Video when I was a kid – about a year and half later on eBay while living in the Kansas City, Missouri area. By this time, I had learned everything I needed to know about this film: that it was loosely based on a New England urban legend of a murderer known as “The Cropsy Killer”, that the version I owned that had been released in the U.S. was incomplete, the whole “video nasty” scandal overseas, how Britain’s Thorn/EMI had accidentally released the uncensored cut of the film resulting in a slap on the hand by the BBFC only to make the same mistake twice (there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?), and thanks to a website known as Hysteria Lives!, I finally was able to behold the beauty of the infamous “raft scene” (the one where Cropsy kills six kids in less than two minutes?) in its complete, uncensored bitchin’ glory.  So at second viewing, I got much more out of it, aside from the “raft scene” having been mutilated and left for dead, of course. I was able to enjoy it in its follow-up run and was able to sit back and be able to actually see it as the above-than-average slasher that it is, contrary to what I’d first thought. The cast was well put together (I loved that Leah Ayres, who was in Bloodsport, was in this), some of the photography is excellent, and both the opening and closing scenes are classic scenes of classic camp slasher.

When it was first made known that it was finally going to be released on DVD, I can recall reading on countless forums about it – whether or not we were going to see an uncut print, curiosity if the original poster art was going to be used? When it was released in 2007, die-hard fans were given the long-awaited treat of the film being released complete and uncensored – regardless of the fact that MGM released it with an “R” rating on the sleeve (I want to say that they did so because they don’t release movies unrated? I could be wrong – I may be thinking of Paramount. I think they did it intentionally to give us what they knew we wanted, which if that is true, was a great move on their part). I’m not sure if a complete print had been ever available in the U.S. (aside from an Amazon-only exclusive VHS) so I wonder to myself if there was a fan of film (or an executive, maybe?) “on the inside” that pushed in some way to have an uncut version released to us (or at least knew where to obtain one). Believe me when I say that for that, we are very thankful – or at least I am, regardless if the DVD sleeve was missing the original poster art. MGM were also nice enough to not only give us the original trailer, but a must-see on-camera interview with Tom Savini. Just this one bonus feature is well worth the price of the disc as he goes into a very loving retrospect of his time working on the film and even goes into the behind-the-scenes of how he did the “raft-scene”, which has to be, hands down, one of the most amazing scenes in slasher history. Nothing can beat the shot of Cropsy shearing off Fisher Stevens’ fingers and how he holds them up as blood squirts out of them! If any of you all were here with me, I’d do the chest bump of triumph with you.

Though this film isn’t honestly relevant to slasher history here in the U.S. (Halloween and Friday the 13^th hold those top spots here), because of the reputation The Burning has gained over the years due to what it went through overseas and its problems with the BBFC – and just for the complete “raft scene”! – it is imperative that this find its way into your collection, especially now that it is readily available – and very inexpensive – to own.   Essential viewing? Yes. But you’re reading this, so I know you already have. 

The New York Ripper (1982)

I wish that I had the kind of memories of my first encounter with this film as I do the others that are on this blog. Usually I break into an immediate fondness and start recalling the many who-and-whatzits of where I was in life when I first held the video box to most of these titles because I like to share the manners in which I got to know some of these bad boys and girls. Now that I think back on all those mom-and-pop shops (and the not-so-mom-and-pops) I walked through during my teenage years, I don’t ever remember seeing this on any shelf – believe me, I’d remember that fantastic poster art! (I loved it so much it’s the banner of this blog!) Hmmm, why didn’t I ever see this one if I can recall boxes for Superstition and The Seven Doors of Death? I didn’t get into Italian sleaze cinema until the mid-to-late nineties, after I’d both discovered and then ridden the Suspiria train a few hundred-or-so times. By the time I did enough reading on this to go actually out and look for it, it was readily available on DVD so I apologize for not getting that warm-and-toasty feeling when I talk about The New York Ripper – though I honestly wish I could.

I started taking time to research titles and directors and slowly started to become more and more interested in films coming from that other end of the world. I wasn’t even aware at that time that horror films came out of any other country but the U.S. – as ridiculous as that sounds - and little did I know that a great deal of these films I was discovering would top most of the stuff I’d seen that was being home-brewed here. I came across this entry about two years after I’d already seen Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond and after reading about this particular one - and other films of his - on countless message boards over the internet and learning about its infamous reputation overseas, I couldn’t resist in tracking/picking up a copy of Blue Underground’s release at the local Rapsutin’s for under ten bucks just to see what the big deal was about. I won’t go into how it was one of the original (and more infamous) “Video Nasties” in Britain, how copies of it were famously escorted out of the country, and how it was banned outfight for many years, because if you’re a die-hard as I am, you already know everything there is to know about Lo Squartatore de New York.  I already knew who was in it before even sitting down to watch it: Andrea Occhipinti (A Blade In the Dark), Zora Kerova (who was in Cannibal Ferox) so with the experience I’ve had with horror films, I pretty much thought I had figured out how this was going to play out. If you’ve seen this (which you have – why else would you be reading this?), you know that I was completely wrong.

I won’t give away the details of the plot because somehow I have this pre-conceived notion that you’ve either already seen it or know enough about it to be interested in this post. And this is one of those films that I wouldn’t even think of giving away scene-by-scene because I want you, the reader, to be able to watch a film as this and form your own opinion (If you’ve read my review for “The Hazing” – you’ll note that I gave away the entire film, which actually caused someone who hadn’t seen it yet to send me a very nasty email). I do have to admit that I get such a laugh out of the film’s opening sequence and how it flawlessly breaks into a “CHiPS” kind of theme, musically. Many Italian-produced horror films (and their respective trailers) begin with (or shamelessly contain) this kind of cheesy disco-tinged track (Can you say, “Cannibal Ferox”, “The House on the Edge of the Park”?)

After a bizarre scene of a dog finding a random severed hand in a bush, we get introduced to the film’s premise: Someone in a [lousy] Donald Duck voice is killing people across New York City and the police force – complete with a closeted homosexual college psychoanalyst and a chief with a penchant for prostitutes - tries their best to solve the mystery. What ensues is nothing but trash and sleaze and still, after multiple viewings – as I’m doing now for purposes of this essay – manages to make me both cringe and howl in laughter, sometimes simultaneously. One of the film’s overall highlights, for me, is the photographing of the wonderfulness that is/was the old 42^nd Street, lovingly portrayed in gorgeous colors before the camera takes us to a live sex show and the extremely brutal murder of its actress by a broken bottle right-bloody-smack in the vajay-jay. I don’t think I’ve seen a murder executed anywhere else in horror history in that same manner. There is a cold darkness and feeling of hopelessness to the film that has to be experienced to be believed. This is no happy movie and that’s something I must stress. There is nothing redeemable about sitting through this piece of horror history. I sometimes try to figure out if the intention from the beginning was to prove a point by purposely making the film in an over-the-top fashion or if it just ended up that way once things were edited and put together. There are images so darky constructed that it does give a feeling of impending doom and for brief moments, we are watching a genuine horror film whose sole motive is to offend – and that it does. Then, just as one begins to get comfortable (or not so, depending on your taste), scenes such as the infamous “toe job” scene in the tavern interrupt and become perfect halfway-points between titillating and outright revolting but yet still manage to make me burst out loud in hysterics crying out, “What the f@#* was that?!”.

Conversely, there are moments such as the scene in the theater (the dream sequence) that are absolutely gorgeous. The poor girl alone having being chased by someone who just brutally attacked her and there is a deep helplessness in her eyes, as she looks around to see if he, the assaulter, can see her. Then, in a blinding light, she sees a familiar face and it suddenly slashes her with a razor point-blank. She screams over and over again until she wakes up only to find the familiar face [her boyfriend, Andrea Occhipinti] in the room with her. She slowly tells him her nightmare in detail, and then reveals to him that he was the one that assaulted her. That one scene is fantastic and probably my favorite scene in the entire film. Did I mention that I have a slight crush on Mr. Occhipinti?  His chiseled good looks, his brooding eyes, those amazing lips. Ever since my first viewing of A Blade in the Dark…and for the sake of this blog, I’ll stop there. 

One scene that drives me into fits of uncontrollable laughter is the scene when one of the detectives (the homosexual college psychoanalyst) is seen at a corner newsstand looking through porn magazines - gay porn magazines. I giggle because maybe I, myself, remember that part of the 80’s? It cracks me up how the cashier plays it off, stuffing an issue of Blueboy into a copy of the New York Times for him ever so discreetly. Suddenly, for a few brief moments, I’m a curious teenage boy again remembering…well, (pause) just remembering. The first time I watched this scene I admittedly had to rewind it and see it a few times on repeat. As I’m writing I wonder to myself if Mr. Fulci made this movie in the manner that he did to make a political statement or maybe, a disguised social commentary? Was he trying to make a point by being grossly misogynistic? The constant shots of New York’s seedy underground sex shops and neon lights (along with a theater marquee displaying a banner for Final Exam!) pave the way for scenes such as the slashing of the girl bound to the bed. The killer, as he caresses her body slowly with a razorblade, dancing along her skin as he laughs running it down her torso, opening her up and tearing her flesh apart. The slashing of her nipple and eyeball painted vividly and in such a grotesque and realistic fashion that you can’t help but scream as you’re watching.  On the imdb boards, someone even claims that this particular scene is cut and that it goes even further by having the girl get her crotch gruesomely slashed – which would make sense seeing that once the scene is over, the long shot once the cops are there shows her nether region mutilated.  

The climax of the film is fantastic, which I won’t give away and though it leaves the film overwhelmingly ambiguous, it’s still great. It’s one of those downbeat endings that leave you thinking, although you really don’t want to. It will leave you confused – as it is pretty far-fetched - and wanting more but yet in its own right it does the job. The final scene will leave you guessing but I’ll leave it at that.

In actuality, this film isn’t as graphic as it’s made out to be, but you do have to take into consideration the time in which it was released. For the 1980’s it was pretty brutal (the first murder in the car, that broken bottle to the vag, the sliced nipple and slice across the eyeball). Even by today’s standards some of the murders are pretty intense. The film does deliver a dank and putrid atmosphere but somehow doesn’t do it enough to drag you into its gaping jaws the way you’re expecting it to. Some of the sexuality in the film is more explicit than most were used to then (a toe job anyone? LOL!) and its tinged with enough sleaze and coarseness to fill a stew pot and feed a homeless shelter. That last sentence should tell you everything.

I really can’t say that this would be “essential” viewing, per se, but only because it’s one of the more notorious works by Mr. Fulci do I even recommend it. Just with its history and track record in Europe (and I believe, Australia) it’s one to look at, at least once. Fulci has plenty of hits and misses in his filmography but if you’re even the slightest bit curious, seek this one out. It’s available to rent via Netflix in both DVD form and instant streaming. Your jaw will drop and you’ll gasp out loud a few times without even knowing it. The rest of the time you’ll be laughing at the utterly ridiculous dialogue and at the ultra-random WTF moments scattered throughout – three fingered red herrings and all. I would , though, probably also recommend getting a warm bath (with a good antibacterial soap) ready just before pressing play on this evil little nasty, because with the filth and stench you’re going to have to endure, you will want to wash and scrub yourself down as hard as you can over and over again after you finish this!  

The Return

So I've noticed tonight that it's been over a year since I've written in this thing. I know that I apologize over and over again when there are breaks in between posts so I won't do it again. It's glad to come back and see that all my readers are still here (and seeing that since the blog's inception, there are more than 6700 views to which I thank you).

One of the main reasons why I haven't been here as often as I was in the past is mainly because I don't have the time to devote myself to this thing anymore as I once had. But, that's not an excuse - though I'm trying to pass it off as one. Secondly, I have become completely engrossed in the act of collecting and have been hunting down films left and right. I think my collection has probably grown to almost triple in size since my last post. I've been able to concentrate to hunting down a large amount of my two favorite styles: the 80's slasher and the Italian giallo. I guess I never knew the manner in where to begin searching to advance my collection, but with help from a few new friends and collectors online, things have really changed. A few things have been going on within the horror world, also, and I really would have liked to have gotten the chance to share my thoughts on things as they were happening. But alas, I couldn't, so I won't go on and on about it. Not to say that I won't refrain from discussions on said subjects in the near future.

With that said, all I ill say is that it's good to be back. Now with the advent of wireless internet access within my humble abode and with so many films now in my possession, I think that I can finally begin to make time to once again piddle my thoughts and opinions about what we all love and why this blog even exists.

I'm thinking of completely re-doing this blog, maybe give it a different look but I must admit that I'm too in love with the banner up on top to change it. I know that I once had some of the cover art for the VHS release of House of Death (which I've finally acquired on DVD, by the way - look for its review here coming soon), but there's something about the art for The New York Ripper above that just screams "me". I'm also considering re-vamping some of the reviews that have been up on here for quite some time. Some of you have written to me asking me (nicely) to enlarge the font to make reviews more readable - and that's what I'm going to do. I may add a few extra notes and observations as we all know that every time you sit down and re-watch a film, you catch things that you overlooked all those hundred-thousand other times you've seen it.

I really wish that I could have the time - and patience - to construct a complete website, complete with reviews in alphabetical order, but I honestly don't have the means to do so. That would be ideal. But for now, this will remain the next best thing.

Don't be afraid to leave comments. I totally welcome them. And tell a fellow horror fan/friend about this little blog. I'd love to hear what you all think.

P.S. Don't know if you all know yet, but the blog can be followed now on Facebook. I invite you to "like". =)

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=2361831622#!/group.php?gid=124894964208426

-Leonel

The Chamber of Thrills!

Hi everyone!

Yes, I know that Halloween 2010 has come and gone but for some reason, both facebook and this site would not allow me to upload the run-through of Reedley's haunted attraction, The Chamber of Thrills. After many attempts to do so on both sites, I managed to get it on YouTube and wanted to share it with you all on here. As most of you know, haunted attractions such a these are mostly immersed by darkness, so you will see a good amount of it here. But let the sounds be your guide. I especially love the ending - how it goes from complete chaos to eerie silence. There's nothing like being a horror fan and actually being chased by a guy with a real chainsaw! You have to live it once to appreciate it.

Thank you again to Lore Callahan who let me capture it on video exclusively for LL80'sH, and to the cast and crew for showing us a good time. You guys were awesome - can't wait for next year!

-Linus

Nightmare On 10th Street! - Halloween 2010

Welcome the the 2010 Halloween edition of LL80sH, after a couple of months of silence. I know, it's been awhile, but did you think I would forget the busiest and most-favorite time for horror fans everyone? I think eh-not!

Tonight I'd like to bring to you a glimpse of this year's local Halloween attraction - the Chamber of Thrills, presented by the Greater Reedley Chamber of Commerce located in downtown Reedley, California. So what happens when one of the most beloved and well-known haunts in the area is forced to close down for the season? They ignore adversity and come back in a different venue with a vengeance!

So, being the avid horror fan that I am, I just knew that I had to attend this little psycho-fiesta. I always like to tell people that I meet that are interested in horror that there's nothing quite like the feel of walking through something as visceral as a haunted attraction. Sure, I could see that some would argue that with places like Six Flags and Busch Gardens holding their own version of scare-fests for the October season (with huge production budgets), but it doesn't compare to what the minds of a local group of people passionate about horror (and a low budget) can conjure up.

So the first thing I did when I arrived was walk in without any expectations, just like walking into a horror film that you're about to see for the first time. You know that you've seen films that have scared you half to death, but then again you have seen those that have bored the holy crap out of you that you never want to see again. If you expect too much in this genre, there's that chance that you will be disappointed. So I just sucked it up and got my tickets. I wore my "Ghostbusters" T-shirt in the hopes that someone in the crowd would recognize and appreciate the irony of it, but alas, the irony itself was the fact that the two dragon puppets (which were a fantastic and rather deranged tribute to Statler and Waldorf of "The Muppet Show") that welcomed you to the attraction, got the inside joke and pleaded with me to not call the Ghostbusters on them!

Before even walking into the attraction, I was treated to several choruses of young female screams as one of the actors playing a demon of Lucifer's legion popping out of nowhere and terrorizing the group of said girls. And by "terrorizing" I mean seriously scaring them. This actor was relentless about staying in character and chased the group as their screams echoed through the waiting are of the entrance. And let me tell you, it was pretty convincing. As I looked around, several of the characters made their presence known and it set a great tone for what was waiting inside: A creepy version of Raggedy Ann - along with her severed head in a basket, an actor dressed as a seven-foot rat, A man who adorned his face with barbed wire and blood (carrying a huge axe!), and a person with the body of a human being, and the head of a fox. Don't get me wrong, I know these were people dressed up, but you couldn't help but slowly get sucked into the madness that was about to happen.

The verdict: Amazing! From the moment we walked into the psychedelic and black lit 3-D prologue, I had a feeling this was going to be a memorable ride. Everything from deranged clowns, an insane asylum, to a very spooky walk through a cornfield - that seriously gave me the "Children of the Corn" creeps. What I was struck by the most was that everyone was in character and did what they needed to do to remain so. People popping out from the darkness to grab you and get you to scream out loud, to characters literally following you through the maze - and with (what looked like) real weapons!.

For one brief moment, if you're in the right mindset, of course, you are right in the center of a scene in a horror film. Complete with the rushing adrenalin and that real feeling that someone is after you! For me, though, having been immersed in 70's and 80's horror from such a young age was the attraction's closing point: Walking through the exit, thinking that it's all over only to be confronted by a chainsaw-wielding maniac! And with a real chainsaw! Now if that isn't enough to shit your pants - I don't care how tough you think you might be - then you're a lost cause. The perfect - and completely unexpected - finish to an experience such as this. And forget two two-minute lasting, people--waiting-in-long-lines-behind-you, gotta-move-you-quick-to-get-everyone-through nonsense. How about spending along the line of ten minutes within the annals of a twisted spectacle such as this thrown by people who obviously know what they're doing?

But, let's talk about what I loved the most: The cast. I don't think I've ever come across a more friendly, more experienced bunch of people. And they all knew why they were there and what their main focus was: to entertain and to scare the hell out of you. Though I have to admit that while I spent most of my time laughing (from all the fun I was having), I did have a moment or two in which the Jack McFarland in me came out and I yelped out like, for lack of a better analogy, a helpless puppy in search of its master. My friend Darlene (Admin for the Chamber) and her eight year-old son Paul accompanied me and needless to say it was a night that we would not soon forget.

I'm hoping that this particular attraction returns to Reedley next year soI can do it all over again (Thanks to Lore Callahan, who put this all together, for letting us experience it not once but twice.) Thank you to all the crew (in particular the two great gents who guided us into the attraction), and cast who took the time out to talk with me, and pose for great pictures: Creepy Raggedy-Ann gal, Axe-wielding man, the character known as "Monster", creepy guy with the machete, 7-foot rat guy, Fox-human (Lore), Hillbilly guy (seen above), Chainsaw guy, Insane Asylum doctor-guy, Hippie guy, and my two favorite characters: "Big Red" who was decked out in fabulous drag, and the guy I call, "Mel-Gibson-as-Braveheart-dude". You guys were wonderful and showed a horror-obsessed guy a really good time.

Happy Halloween 2010 everyone!

If you're the slightest bit of a horror fan, I recommend that you seek out something of this type in your local area. There's nothing like being scared and having a great time at a place like this.

To see all the great photos from my visit to the Chamber of Thrills (and some are pretty great), click here.

Chopping Mall (1986)

First of all let me say that any film with a title this fun has got to be worth a look at least one. But when you have a film that has both a great title and an even catchier tagline, you've got to go for the gusto. This film is probably the best example of the two from a film coming out of the mid 80's (the exception, of course, being the tag line for The Mutilator).

This is one of those video box covers that stayed with me throughout the course of my young years. Every single mom and pop store and grocery store video section had this, I mean, it was everywhere. There was something about the art that just intrigued me but enough to where I shyed away from it. Maybe it was because it was of its suggestive gruesomeness? Maybe because something that cool was actually that scary? Seriously, when have you ever seen a film's one-sheet look this great? I remember finally picking it up back at the old H-E-B grocery store that was on old Highway 83 in Weslaco, Texas back when I was in my teens and took a good look at the back. Nothing to fear, I told myself. I didn't see anything all too graphic so I was pretty sure I was safe. Little did I know that I wouldn't actually pick this one up until much later on.

I found my Lightning VHS copy at a pawn shop when I was living in Missouri back in 2003. I'm not sure as to why I never sat down to actually watch it but nonetheless, it was in my then-budding horror collection so that was all that mattered. When it was finally released by Lions Gate (though I swear by everything in my that Anchor Bay had released it first), I took a Friday night and sat down to finally sit through this. Let me tell you, I was quite tickled.

First of all, any film that opens up in the annals of an 80's shopping mall, complete with not only cameos by the wonderful Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov but playing reprising their roles as the Blands from Eating Raoul...you know that you're in for something interesting. The plot is actually very simple: Robots are created to replace, rather, enhance, security at the local mall. Some kids find a way to stay trapped inside for the night to party on, have sex, blah blah blah. Little do they know that the robots are in full swing, and ready to kill. Their mission? Break out of the mall without dying in the process. Sounds very run-of-the-mill for that time period, right?

In one sense of the word, it is, but on the other hand, it was pretty original for the time it was made and released. Sure, we had seen a horror film set in a shopping mall before (Dawn of the Dead), but this one was a little different. First of all, it screams 80's and that for me was enough to keep me hooked. Any film that has posters for films like Slumber Party Massacre in their backgrounds gets props from me. It's the whole boys-wanna-make-it-with-the-girls-and-the-jock-guy-has-the-hot-slutty-girl-the-average-guy-has-the-average-girl-and-they-both-want-to-set-their-nerdy-guy-up-with-one-of-their-girlfriends routine that we've seen in other films. But just like Hide and Go Shriek, it works. Hottie Russell Todd (who was so underused in Friday the 13th - part 2, which, surprisingly, Lions Gate incorrectly credits him on the back of the DVD cover as being in the first film) along with two other cuties to make this one a particularly entertaining piece to watch.

I will say, though, that I was disappointed in the fact that both the title and film's tagline are completely misleading. No one gets "chopped" and nobody loses an "arm and a leg" though it was pretty cool to see that the one of the kills in the film depicts a rather cool head explosion ala Scanners (Thank God, too, Miss First Victim was quite annoying). The rest of the kills aren't all that great, but it didn't seem to bring the rest of the film down. Kinda makes you wonder what it would be like to be really trapped in a mall with all your friends with killer robots after you. Horror fans know that the original title of the film was Killbots and the behind the scenes featurette with the director and original designer of the bots give a little insight about how it all came to pass. It's actually quite good, though it runs a bit short.

The bottom line on this one is that you're going to be disappointed if you're expecting something over the top, especially with the title of the film being as cool as it is. Because the film's negative was in legal limbo during the time the DVD was made, a VHS master was used as the source (I wondered why there was a Lightning Video logo at the end of the presentation). Even with that said, the picture quality and sound aren't bad at all. I didn't even know it was a VHS master until the last moment of the DVD so that should tell you something. The trailer is on there, though, it doesn't leave much to the imagination and in my opinion, gives just a tad too much away. But I love how the trailer ends, with the Blands rolling their eyes at the camera which gives the slight misleading notion that they are in the core of the film rather than the five minutes they actually have screen time. But that I will overlook.

Because this film seriously reeks of 80's, it's worth a look and if you're a completist, this should already be in your collection. Some of the dialogue is ridiculous but the overall tone of the film and the (partial) originality of the script make this one of the better 80's teen horror films not to be set in a campground. And it's one of the better ones to be set in a retail scenario (again, I include Hide and Go Shriek). Just...go get it.

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Eaten Alive (1977)

If there is one thing that I always like to stress to either a horror newbie or a veteran looking to expand his horror horizons: Always know a film's alternate titles and pseudonyms! I can't tell you how many horror fans I've talked to and who have missed out on some great films solely because they didn't know that the film(s) they were looking for were right under their noses at their local video store! (Listen to me, talking like the American Establishment known as the mom and pop video store (or even rental store chain) still exists!)

This film is a prime example, boasting not one but seven different alternate titles. Let me flash back to the mid 80's. It's a stormy night in the Rio Grande Valley and I'm late watching TV on my mother's portable black and white set. The thunder is looming overhead and suddenly the screen goes black and this announcer starts telling the story about a monster lurking in the outback. I see something in the distance on the screen and as the announcer continues, this figure comes closer and closer to the screen. Soon enough, I see that it's the mouth of a creature coming closer to me and I freeze in total fear. The narrator stops and announces what I derive to be a coming horror film. The image you see to the left is now on the screen and as the announcement ends with the ominous voice stating, "Legend of the Bayou. Pray it isn't true.", a bite is taken out of the word "Bayou" and the screen goes black.

You don't forget something like that when you're nine years old.

I'd been looking for this particular film for a while now but never could locate it. For starters, I was looking for it with it's alternate title on the left (insert Price Is Right loser music here). One day I was researching another film on line and I bumped into a description of this film with its original title Eaten Alive. When I read the list of alternate titles and saw Legend of the Bayou as one of them, I think I squealed out of pure delight! And I'm being serious. So my research went in a different direction. I quickly learned that there was a DVD print available from Elite Entertainment. (sigh) Ah, Elite. How I love each and every one of your releases. Sadly, though, I couldn't find anyone that had a copy for sale. That is, until last week. I finally got my hands on said Elite version at Rasputin's (for a very low price! Um, about $3.95?) and I was on top of the world. Now, getting my hands on it was one thing. Sitting through it was going to be something else. I mean, when you direct something as landmark and as influential as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, can your follow-up film measure up?

The answer to that is a simple 'no', ONLY because this is a completely different type of film. But when your follow-up film's opening is a man unzipping his fly and spouting the unbelievable line, "My name is Buck and I like to fuck", you know you've tapped into something ultra-special. The premise is simple: Young girl flees a brothel and checks into a local seedy motel on a creepy swamp lake. Hotel owner has a huge crocodile (yes, a crocodile) that he feeds unsuspecting victims to. Sounds cheesy? Sure it does. But this film executes the idea well.

Ok, let me stop and say something. And I know I'm probably going to get a lot of slack for this but I'm one of your more outspoken and unique horror bloggers so here goes: What is the deal with Mr. Robert Englund in this film? Geez, I've seen him in everything from 976-EVIL to Slashed Dreams and never in any of the films I've seen with him has he looked so damn hot! I mean, this is Freddy Kreuger we're talking about here, right? Lord, have mercy, the man comes out in a wife beater and tighty whities! I will probably never see him in the same light ever again. (Lets out a large heaved sigh).

Okay, with that said, let's move on to the rest of the film. For being what it is, Tobe Hooper did a great job. Great performances by Mel Ferrer, Neville Brand, and of course, Chainsaw veteran Marilyn Burns, which, IMO was hired for this film just because the girl can scream. And boy can she scream! The story itself is a bit drawn out at times, but you get a feel for the characters and their plight to escape the evils of ol' Judd and his killer croc. The special effects are not bad for being 1977.

Now wait a minute, now I'm confused. If I saw the trailer for "Legend of the Bayou" on television in the mid 80's, was it re-released just with a different title? I'm going to have to look that up. I remember a kid that went to my church during that time got his dad to take him and see it and I can remember the jealousy I felt because he was able to see it. And now that I'm older, I'm even more jealous that he got to see it on the big screen. I'm even wondering as to why Elite wasn't able to get the TV spots for this one with their different titles? It would have been really great to re-live that little piece of my childhood again. To see that black screen with the eerie mouth coming closer...and closer...and closer......

If anyone has that trailer, or knows where I can see it, PLEASE let me know.