Linus Meets John Saxon! (17 Aug 2013)

When I was nine years old, my father was into two things: M*A*S*H and martial arts films. I can remember vividly that he loved USA’s Kung Fu Theater (click here for the memorable intro) and he watched it as much as he could. One day, he brought over the videocassette for this little movie called Enter the Dragon that starred Bruce Lee. In that film, there was a man who from the moment I laid eyes on him was one of the most beautiful men in the entire world (Yes, I know what you’re thinking: You had those thoughts at nine years old?) and I was immediately fascinated by a gentleman going by the name of John Saxon. I didn’t know his name back then and I wouldn’t see him again in another film until I would sit down in front of Nightmare on Elm Street for the first time many years later. I remembered his eyes, his voice….that physique and instantly became a fan. Over time (especially once after I’d become the budding horror fan during my formative years), I found out that though he’d been a mainstream success in Enter the Dragon, he was a huge horror/B-film name and I started watching all his films one-by-one beginning with Blood Beach and sitting though Black Christmas, Zombie Death House and his small but fantastic role in Dario Argento’s Tenebre. Little by little I was falling for the man (in a cinematic sense, of course) and as I was watching him one day (in Blood Beach nonetheless), I knew one day I would welcome the opportunity to meet him.

About a year and a half ago (ish), it was announced that he would be appearing at the Time Tunnel Toy Show in San Jose, California to meet, greet and sign autographs. I usually frequent that show so I was immediately dead-set on attending. I mean, I wasn't going to miss out on the chance to finally meet Señor Saxon face to face. As the day drew nearer, I was disappointed to find out that because of work and other circumstances way beyond my control, I wasn’t going to be able to attend the show, thus meeting him was now forever out of my reach. I was very overjoyed to hear through the grapevine later on that he ended up not being able to attend due to professional commitments and had plans to reschedule. What?! I was thrilled to hear that I hadn’t missed my chance after all and that he’d be coming back to make up for his absence. Several shows passed (as they happen at or about every three months or so) and no news had surfaced about him coming back. So, I slowly gave up hope and let the fantasy go.

 

Then, to my surprise, a postcard came in the mail announcing the show that took place this past Saturday, August 18 and I was psyched to see that John Saxon himself was returning! Immediately, I cleared my schedule for that date and made sure there’d be nothing to keep me from going. Before I knew it, the date came and my cousin and I were on our way to the San Jose Fairgrounds to check this off my bucket list.

He ended up appearing after 11am, once the early bird period was over and I was overwhelmed when I saw him sitting at his table smiling. It was actually going to happen! When I approached him and when he threw me that smile of his, I was charmed. I shook his hand and uttered to him that I’d been waiting to meet him since I was nine years old, when my father first brought home Enter the Dragon. His response? How old are you now?  I chuckled and answered, I’ll be forty years old next year, sir to which he immediately replied, Oh geez! And yes, folks, that was how my meeting with Mr. John Saxon began.

I had brought my laserdisc of the original Nightmare on Elm Street for him to sign and he made a point to tell me that everyone else at the toy show had come to see him for his portrayal of Roper from Enter the Dragon and here I was coming to see Lt. Don Thompson. Duh! He was very handsome in person and he was very nice and cordial and was happy to sign my laserdisc and a photo of him as Thompson in NOES. Oh yes, and by the way, this appearance was officially his last as it was announced on the show’s website so I was very relieved and very happy that I was able to see him before retiring from the convention circuit. It was one of the people on my bucket list that I hoped to meet before either of us passed, and I was thrilled to have been able to meet him face to face. Hats off to you, Mr. Saxon. You will forever be amazing.

 

LL80'sH Remembers Karen Black (1939-2013)

Hi everyone. Just posting a little note here to pay tribute to the wonderful Karen Black, who passed away on August 8, from cancer. She was my number three horror goddess following Felissa Rose and Amy Steel who after her appearance in the 1975 TV classic “Trilogy of Terror” was cast in dozens of horror and B-films, some which are my favorites to this day. She was an actress who held a spot on my bucket list as one I would have hoped to have met and had the opportunity to talk to and let her know how much of a fan I was of hers. The first film I ever saw her in was "Trilogy of Terror" back in 1994 and was immediately drawn to her beauty and her talent. From then on, I was privileged to have seen her in a slew of horror films ranging from "Burnt Offerings" (which I have previously reviewed on this blog here), "The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver", "Mirror Mirror" to "Out Of the Dark" and even appeared on 80's television shows such as "Murder, She Wrote", "The Hitchhiker"  and "Growing Pains". She was beautiful. She was talented. She was one-of-a-kind. She will be sorely missed. The horror community has lost one of its best. Much love to you, Karen. Thank you for your contributions to the horror genre.

May you forever rest in peace.

Linus Loves 80's Horror Recommends these horror/B- films starring Karen Black for your consideration:

The Pyx (1973)

Trilogy of Terror (1975)

Burnt Offerings (1976)

Family Plot (1976)

The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver (1977)

The Blue Man (aka Eternal Evil) (1985)

Invaders From Mars (1986)

It's Alive! III (1987)

Out of the Dark (1988)

 

 

 

 

 

 



Scareanormal Fresno! Friday June 28, 2013

I know that I apologize every time I’m absent for a while but this time, I mean it. I do honestly wish that I could have more time to devote to this seeing that my last post was months ago (January to be exact), but this time I bring you one heck of an entry. With me almost turning 40, I would love to devote myself to this thing more than I have, and to maybe have it become one of the most read horror blogs on the internet. There’s so much I’ve acquired into my collection – I’ve recently become a rabid laserdisc collector – that I’d like to share with you all so please be patient with me, as I do plan to write as much as I can within the next eleven months. If you’d like to see me review a specific 80’s film, don’t hesitate to send me an email at leonelbenavides@ymail.com  or message me on the Linus Loves 80’s Horror Facebook page. Thank you as always for reading this blog and for supporting the way you guys do. I love it! I just recently attended my very first horror convention – yes, my very first. Can you believe that? – advertised as SCAREanormal Fresno: Horror, Paranormal & Pop Culture Fan Expo presented by THC Talent and the Central Valley Horror Club that took place this past June 28-30, 2013 held at the Piccadilly Inn – Airport in Fresno, California.

A few weeks ago, just after my 39^th birthday, I was sitting in a local movie theater waiting with my new buddy Matt for The Purge to begin when I received a text message from a mutual friend of ours that was nothing but a web address and a short message. When I got home, I looked up the webpage and found out that it was to a horror convention that was coming to the Fresno area within a few weeks. Of course, I was immediately interested and being the horror nut that I am, I’d never been to an official horror show or convention of any kind. I’d heard about them, as my cousin Daniel would attend some of the larger ones down in the Los Angeles area and always brought back the most amazing photos and memorabilia, but I’d never had the time (or the funds) to attend one. I began to browse through some of the many names that were scheduled to appear and though the list was impressive I was immediately sold when I saw that Victor Miller, writer of the original Friday the 13^th, Ari Lehman, who played the boy Jason in that film and who holds the title of being the first Jason in the series, and the fabulous Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp were on the roster. There were other guests that were scheduled to appear, such as Sig Haig of House of 1000 Corpses, a panel of actors from both the Walking Dead television series and the Porky’s film series, and others. So, with Fresno being only a mere thirty-five minute drive, I did what I needed to do and immediately purchased three tickets for myself for the Friday leg (as it was going to be an entire weekend thing), one for my friend Matt, and another cousin of mine. I’d never even heard of THC Talent or the Central Valley Horror Club so I was intrigued from the beginning on how an event like this would even be like. I liked the idea of the VIP pass which included a lot of major freebies and access but I was only able to afford the one-day ticket price of $26 – which I thought at first was a little hefty for being an event in Fresno but if you stick around long enough, you’ll see that I will quickly change my tune. 
 

 First of all, let me say that Sleepaway Camp remains one of my most favorite and beloved eighties slashers of all time. And I’m not going to be shy about this, but I held a large torch for Felissa Rose all through my teenage years, even though I remained heterosexually-challenged, and even through my adulthood. If you know me well, you know that I hold that particular film near and dear to my heart as it was one of those films that scarred me as a kid, seeing that I viewed it for the first time when I was eleven years old.  I’m not sure if I’ve reviewed it here yet, but if I haven’t you better believe I’ll be making some kind of effort to put it up here soon. She was so innocent in that film, so pretty, and so naïve. So you can imagine my horror and shock when I saw that ending for the first time and how it stayed burned in my memory to this day. It was something that stuck in my brain and stayed with me. And after I was able to finally get my own copy of the (*cough* - uncut)  VHS back in the nineties, I would watch it all the time just to see her. And you’d think that being hetero-challenged I’d be watching it for other reasons – which I did, but she was the main reason I popped that tape into the VCR at every chance I could. Once I started being more vocal about my fanaticism toward the eighties slasher and the horror genre as a whole, I was surprised, and rather delighted, to hear how many of my friends not only remembered  Sleepaway Camp, but talked about it with me with the same fondness and regard that I’d held it with for so many years. For all of us, it had been a staple of our childhood.

If you’ve read the very first entry in this blog from back in 2008, you already know just how much Friday the 13^th means to me as a horror fan. And not for anything, but we all have Victor Miller to thank for writing a little screenplay with the awesome title of Long Night At Camp Blood that with a title change, some great casting, and a hell of a spooky atmosphere (and soundtrack!) would turn that little horror sleeper into the mega-franchise and pop culture staple that it is today. Everyone in the world has seen Friday the 13^th or at least knows who Jason is. Without Victor we wouldn’t have Camp Crystal lake. We wouldn’t have Camp Crystal Lake or Mrs. Pamela Voorhees. And without Victor, we wouldn’t have Jason, period. I owe a lot to that man as an avid horror fan and horror writer/blogger. If he’d never written Friday the 13^th, my father would have never tortured me with it as an eight-year old and my curiosity for the slasher film would have never blossomed into what it is today.  And the same goes for Ari Lehman, who played the very first Jason and the reason for my nightmares when I was a kid. Just that moment where he jumps out of the water – iconic.

So we arrived a little after six p.m. which was much later than I’d wanted to show up. When we got off the car, we were surprised to see that there weren’t many cars out front which immediately caused us to think that we’d gone to the wrong hotel. Upon entering we were delightfully surprised to see that the lines to get inside were almost non-existent. Since we’d purchased our tickets more than two weeks in advance, we got to enter before the people who were waiting to buy them and before we knew it, we were inside. There weren’t many members of the public walking around which was exactly what I hoped for. We walked into the first room and were treated with a vendor of hard-to-find and out of print movies who was also selling 11X17 horror poster reprints. We took a look through them and ended up buying a few of them, like both the U.S. and Euro versions of Suspiria, the original Friday the 13^th, and Silent Night, Deadly Night, but what we liked most from that room was the fact that Angus Oblong, creator of the Cartoon Network series The Oblongs, had his own table surrounded by prints of his artwork, donning his trademark clown makeup. For my friend, Matt, this was more than he could have ever asked for. Angus was nice enough to sign two prints and pose with Matt for a photo.

 

We then walked into the main area of the convention, with tables around the perimeter of the room and all down the center. There weren’t many people there, as well which was everything I wanted. We started to walk around and started gawking at the tables and some of the actors that were on the roster. For me, though, I had mainly attended to hopefully meet Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp, Victor Miller, writer of the original Friday the 13^th, and Ari Lehman who was young Jason in the original Friday the 13^th. As we walked around, out of the corner of my eye I became immediately star struck when I saw Felissa in the flesh sitting at her table. Was I nervous? Well, seeing that she is my all-time favorite horror female (next to Amy Steel) it was pretty nerve-wracking to have waited years and years to be in the same room with her and then have my wait suddenly be over. So in a word: yes, I was very nervous. When I approached her table she saw my Sleepaway Camp tee shirt and immediately stood up to greet me. So immediately I let her know that I was there to see her and from then on, it was pretty much all magic. She was not only the nicest gal in the world, she was sweet, very talkative and very responsive to all of the little questions I’d always wanted to ask her. She offered to sign my Sleepaway Camp tee shirt – which now I’m going to have to get framed – and took photo after photo with me, even one with her trademark Angela scream-face! Now that was something I’ve always wanted and she was gracious enough to suggest it! She also signed a photo for me tagging it, To Leonel, meet me at the waterfront after the social!, which is one of my favorite lines of the original film. After hanging out with her for a short while, we left the table but promised to come back to see her later on during the night.

 

If you’ve ever read the very first entry of this blog, you’ll know that Friday the 13^th was the first horror film I’d ever watched – back at the tender age of eight – and that the film is the whole reason why I became interested in the slasher film and why I became the horror nut that I am today. During the latter part of my teenage years, and after having gotten over my inner childhood fear of Jason Voorhees, I got deeper and deeper into the whole Friday the 13^th mythos and storyline and one day as I was watching Part 2 I said to myself, Someday, I’d like to meet Victor Miller and thank him for writing the first film and for being the reason I got into horror in the first place. It was a very genuine and innocent wish but in my own mind, I knew that it was not only too good to ever happen but it was so far from my reach. When I saw him sitting there, I became overwhelmed with excitement because I knew that not only was I going to meet him, he was going to sign my Friday the 13^th laserdisc! It was like I was coming full circle and to tell you the truth, it was the best feeling in the world. I approached him, shook his hand, and instantly, we were drawn to a fantastic conversation about the origins of Mrs. Voorhees herself, his role in making the first film a permanent staple in pop culture, and in that conversation I was finally able to say that him writing the original film – and my father torturing me with it when I was only eight – was the sole reason that I got into the slasher film and horror in general and that if he hadn’t, I don’t know who or what I would be today. For one thing, this blog would not even exist, that’s for sure. And I really don’t even want to think of what I’d be without the slasher film in my life. We talked for a good while longer before the moment I’d waited for came to pass: the signing of my laserdisc. He was gracious enough to sign it To Leonel, you have come full circle! as he completely understood where I was coming from and how much this meeting – and this night – would mean to me. My favorite part about talking with Victor was when he shared with me the origin of his ideas regarding Mrs. Voorhees. She was the mother I always wanted, he said. My mother was the type that would say, ‘Hell, you drowned because you were dumb enough to not learn how to swim!’ whereas Mrs. Voorhees was the type of mother who did anything and everything for her son – even if it meant ultimately avenging his death.  Wow, to hear something like that coming from the creator of everything Crystal Lake was a dream come true, and something I won’t soon forget.

 

Then it was on to finally meet and chat with Ari Lehman, the very first Jason Voorhees. I do have to be honest here and say that I was a bit leery of meeting him, as I’d read online and heard through horror friends that he wasn’t much on the nice side. So I stood on the sidelines for a while and watched him set up his table and listened as he interacted with some of the people around him. I wondered if he’d be willing to sign my laserdisc – as the mere thought of having both his and Victor’s signature on the same piece of memorabilia was exciting me the more I thought about it – and how receptive he’d be with me being such a huge fan of the original film. When he was ready to talk to everyone, he turned into a completely different person – an amicable and personable one. I got to be the first person to talk with him and he was very nice and immediately likeable. He saw my laserdisc and immediately offered to sign it which, of course, just thrilled me. But here’s the part of story I’ll be telling my children: As he tried to sign it with a silver marker (I was going to offer

him mine that Victor had just used), he went and opened a new package of gold Sharpies to which he took one out and began to shake it to make sure that it was going to work. Little did he realize that he’d splattered the entire bottom portion of my laserdisc with gold ink! He looked down, saw what he’d done and began to sincerely apologize over and over again for “fucking up my piece”. I looked at it and immediately loved what I was looking at. I chuckled and let him know that it looked like gold-colored blood splatter to me and he quickly agreed and both us shared a bit of laughter. He not only signed the ‘blood splattered’ laserdisc but he signed  a fantastic photo of himself as the young Jason being made up by the maestro Tom Savini which had also gotten some of the splatter from the marker. Ari and I got to talk for just a little while and I have to say that he was a great guy and was nothing like what I’ve read about him. The best part was that he only had two copies of the photo of him and Savini – which I got one and my cousin who attended with me got the other, and to hear Ari tell other fans, “those two cool guys got the only two I brought with me” was the icing on the cake.

We walked around for a while to let everything that had just happened sink in and we noticed that two of the other people I’d come to see were nowhere to be found: Hal Sparks of Talk Soup and Queer as Folk fame, and Alex Vincent who played Andy in the original Child’s Play. When we asked up at the front if they were going to show, we were told that due to storms in the Midwest, their flights had been delayed and it was unknown if they were going to participate this year. As much as I did want to meet Hal Sparks (as I’m a very big fan of the first two seasons of Queer as Folk) and Alex Vincent (I mean, who isn’t a fan of the first Chucky movie?), I was more than thrilled with how the night was unfolding. We went into the next room, which held a ton of comic books, horror action figures and a total treat for me: David Gregory, one of the co-founders of Severin Films was there! I have a ton of their releases ranging from Jess Franco’s Bloody Moon, fantastic versions of Santa Sangre, Bloody Birthday, and my all-time favorite Fulci film The Psychic in its complete uncut version! Promoting the new Severin release, The Manson Family, He, too, was talkative, very nice and was quickly willing to take a picture with me for this blog. These guys have great releases, check them out at http://www.severin-films.com/. Thank you, David!

 

 

Then, it was back into the main room to visit Felissa once again. This time, we got some very hilarious and wonderful anecdotes from her regarding the original Sleepaway Camp, its mega-homoerotic undertones (did you know that Billy, the guy that dies by bees is actually gay in real life? And did you know that all the boys wearing tight little shorts and/or tight shirt or no shirts at all was done on purpose?), the classic cut “naked guys running down the dock” scene, and her friendship with horror icon David Hess! My favorite part of the conversation with her (well, aside from all the juicy bits about David Hess that I’ll keep to myself, bwahaha!) was finally getting to know why she did not do Sleepaway Camp 2. It was pretty simple: She wanted to continue her education and the school she was going to attend would not let her admit twice, so she had to pass. As simple as that answer was, it was something I’d always been curious about as a huge fan of the original film.  But it was even better to hear that Felissa herself is not only a fan of parts 2 and 3, but she’s a big fan of Pamela Springsteen and even went on to say that, Nobody could have ever played Angela better than Pam! Oh, and did you know that Felissa and Karen Fields, who played uber-bitch Judy, were actually very good friends? Felissa was such a doll to us, so pretty (and petite) in person and was so ready to talk about everything Sleepaway Camp.

I even got to say to her that back in Texas, I have a ring of friends who are die-hard horror fans and when I asked them all one night at a get together some years ago, what was the one 80’s slasher film that fucked you up as a kid?, the collective answer being Sleepaway Camp! Not only did she find that overtly hilarious, but she said she would take that and hold it close to her heart forever. And that was like a million bucks for a guy like me.

 



 

Then, the night reached its pinnacle of fantastic. Felissa asked me if I’d gone over to Sean Whalen’s table to meet him, as he was a good friend of hers.  Wait, Sean Whalen? As in Sean Whalen, Roach of The People Under the Stairs? Sean Whalen who played cute little Alan Sanders in Twister? Why of course I had to meet him! Taking my by the hand, she took me over to where he was standing quietly and smiling, politely introduced us and let us get to know each other. This guy, let me tell you, was so funny and just so down to earth. We shared a couple of laughs, talked a little bit about Wes Craven and what it was like working with him and before I knew it, we were engaging in a very funny and very cool conversation. We shared some more laughs and then realized that I didn’t have anything for him to sign (as somehow my mind had completely forgotten that he’d been scheduled to appear – can you believe that?). So I bought the 11X17 of The People Under the Stairs from him and poof! there was his signature in silver pen for me to behold and take home with me. I actually had Roach’s signature to add to my collection! As this was going on, both Felissa and Victor had come to join in and I soon realized that I was surrounded by all these people that I respected and adored and it was a feeling that can’t even be described. I even noticed that with all the other fans that were walking around and checking out the sights, they were hanging out with me! I stood there with them in a dreamlike state, laughing and chatting like we’d all been friends for years and then it hit me: take a picture with all three of them! So, I asked them if they’d be willing to pose for one more picture and with one collective and enthusiastic Yes!, it was Felissa, Victor, Sean, and myself posing for what I could only call a fantasy photograph come true. Yowza!

 

 

So after this photograph, I said good-bye to Sean and went over to say good-bye to Mr. Miller. He embraced me tight, thanked me for coming, and urged me to keep on supporting the horror community.  He gave me his business card, hugged me once more and asked to keep in touch with him. That part was fantastic. Me keeping in touch with Señor Miller. Now that was something to think about. We then went over to say good-bye to Felissa, who promised us that next time she was in Fresno, she was going to look us up and have us enjoy a night out with her. Partying with Felissa Rose, now that’s something to think about! We left the convention a little before 9pm and I was really surprised on how much we got to do, how much we got to see, and how much fun we actually had in that short bit of time. We walked out the doors of the hotel feeling happy and proud and very satisfied with how things went that night. From someone who was pessimistic at first about what the experience would be like, I walked away extremely pleased. It was a night that I will never forget.

 

I would like to take the time to thank THC Talent and the Central Valley Horror Club for putting this shindig together. It was fantastic and better than I could have ever imagined it to be. Though I was only able to attend the first night of the convention, let me say that if it’s decided for it to be held again next year, I will probably do the VIP weekend. I wish I would have been able to do it this year, but work and other commitments just didn’t allow me to do so. You all did a great job in bringing great horror names down to the Central Valley. Suggestion for future shows? Bring us C.J. Graham, the Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13^th VI: Jason Lives, Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger himself, Zach Galligan of Waxwork and Gremlins fame, and possibly Heather Langenkamp of Nightmare on Elm Street! You guys did a bang up job and I can’t wait to attend next year’s Scareanormal Fresno!

 

 

 

P.S. Little did we know that while talking to Felissa Rose, we were being taped by local the local CBS affiliate who, unbeknownst to us, were covering the opening night of the convention. Fantastic! Thank you again, THC Talent and Central Valley Horror Club! Here is the link to the TV coverage if you're interested. http://www.cbs47.tv/news/local/story/Scareanormal-Horror-Convention-Comes-to-Fresno/XhpkwE4E9U2IlsLpaz_ARg.cspx You can see me at the 0:27-0:29 mark on the very far right of the screen. Enjoy!

Linus is back on Facebook!

Hello everyone! Thank you so very much for all the recent hits to the site. Out of nowhere, you guys have catapulted this blog into the stratosphere and for that, I offer my deepest thanks. We are currently at just about 14, 000 hits which is just mind-blowing for me. Keep them coming! Share the page, tell a friend about it. As a matter of fact, we're returning to facebook! We'll be updating the page and offering some discussion points and there will be links to reviews and other fun stuff. If you haven't already become a member of the LL80sH group on facebook, here's the link:

 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/124894964208426/members/#!/groups/124894964208426/

 

Blog update: Butcher Baker, Nightmare Maker (Night Warning) was just recently dethroned from the top spot of 'most read entry' on this blog by A Nightmare on Elm Street - Part 2. And with a vengeance! It went from 390 reads to a whopping 2100 in just a span of 45 days. Not sure as to what the sudden interest was in that entry, but thank you again for all the reads! Feel free to leave comments on any of the entries. I look forward to seeing you on the facebook page!

 

P.S. The entry for the first A Nightmare On Elm Street is only a few days away from being posted. I had to take a break so I could make sure it's as good as the one for Part 2 that everyone's been reading. Stay tuned!

 

-Linus

V/H/S (2012)

Happy New Year everyone! Welcome to the first post for the year 2013. Apologies for taking a week and a half or so but know that I’ve been spending a lot of time searching and collecting so that I can have lots more to bring you this year. I’ve gotten some nice emails from readers and I thank you all for continuing to read this little ditty. I’m excited for this upcoming year as I have so many films to share with you guys so let’s get started. Now before I begin this review let me assure you that I haven’t abandoned the “80’s” aspect of this blog as I’m sure those of you who read this regularly have noticed that this and the previous posting all have to do with films made since the year 2000. Though I don’t normally spend a lot of time watching more modern films but every once in a while one manages to peak my interest and I seek it out, hoping that I won’t be disappointed. Sometime last year Magnet Releasing starting promoting an independent film called “V/H/S” boasting with confidence to spare that it would be one heck of a film. There were little hints about it on Facebook and I was one of the fish that took the bait and ‘liked’ the film’s page. Soon there were little bits released here and there regarding the directors of the film who included Ti West, one of my current favorites – and little by little I was becoming more and more intrigued. I’m going to admit though that the only reason that I had any interest it at all in this was because it was inadvertently paying homage to every classic horror fan’s long-gone, favorite and beloved format, the Video Home System. And that’s the reason why I’m including it here, as we all know – and recall – how much the VHS format meant (and still does) to an entire generation of devoted horror fans in the 80’s. I started reading about it and did some research and was a little weary to read that the film was a collection of found-footage shorts each helmed by different and current horror director. Now I’m going to stop right here and say that I’m not a fan of found-footage films at all, period. Since The Last Broadcast and The Blair Witch Project did it in the late 90’s – both having paid homage to the 70’s verite shock-fest Cannibal Holocaust, though neither of the film’s directors will openly admit it – there was a resurgence of the style within the last ten years with films like the Paranormal Activity and [REC] series and so on and the more that these films were made, the less impactful and memorable they became until ultimately, the entire sub-genre was run into the ground with such a force that the fire and debris can still be seen from space. I know that’s a little melodramatic but that’s the best way for me to describe it. Just the mention of a found-footage film is an instant turn-off to me, just as the torture-porn sub-genre did years ago. Thank heavens that style has been finally officially laid to rest.

But there was something about this film that wouldn’t let go of my interest. There were little contests and promotions on the film’s Facebook page, everything from ‘create your own V/H/S VHS box’ to comic-style posters with illustrations based on the stories within the film and not for anything, but those little gimmicks were strong enough to keep my attention and for that, I give them props. Then came the news that they would be releasing the film on-demand on local cable/satellite providers. I’d just seen Piranha DD in that same fashion so I was really looking forward to seeing this. But I was disappointed to find out after a couple of months of waiting, that DirecTV was not going to be broadcasting it at all. So I had no choice but to wait for its DVD release, which meant even more waiting. So this past week, I was finally able to watch it via streaming on Netfilx. The film is comprised of five found-footage shorts all tying in with another storyline being recorded in what only I can assume is real-time about a group of bad-guy thugs who get paid to run amok and cause chaos – only to later post it online - to be assigned by an anonymous third party to locate and nab a special videocassette located in a specified house (This piece/narrative in the film is known as “Tape 56”). They bust their way inside to find a dead man sitting in a chair, with several television sets in front of him playing white noise with stacks of unmarked VHS tapes all around. As the others in the group begin to scour the house, they begin to believe that someone or something is with them (is it the old man in the living room?). As this is going on, one of the bad boys stays behind to watch one of the tapes that has already been inserted into one of the players. The others soon come back to the main room and find that their friend and cohort has disappeared (again, could it be the old man?). This narrative here is intertwined with all five stories until it climaxes at the end with the now-zombiefied old man (see? It was him!) having decapitated one of the others and the leader finding his remains only to be attacked and killed by the old man himself, prompting the start of the final tape.

I’m not really fond of horror anthologies, though honestly a few of them coming from the 80’s are actually in my collection – The wonderful Deadtime Stories, After Midnight, Twilight Zone: The Movie, and Tales From the Darkside: The Movie in particular. So, that was going to be the implied ‘second strike’ for the film. But, I have to admit that it became something that I wasn’t expecting. At first, I was going to dissect each and every chapter in the film but it might result in something too long to sit through as far as reading goes, but if you all would settle for a quick run-though then I should be able to give it a good run-down.

Amateur Night – Premise: Three friends construct a pair of seemingly normal eyeglasses that are, in fact, home to a small mini-cam in which they rent a hotel room, take on the town with the goal of bringing back women to the room for sex, all to which they plan to document for their own ‘score book’ with the goal of turning it into an amateur porn film. The guys take 2 girls back to their room, one of them named Lily who screams ‘Creepy’ with a capital ‘C’. One of the girls passes out on the bed as she’s filmed and as Lily coaxes two of the heavily inebriated boys into a three-way, she begins to show her true colors. And they are horrifying. Not for anything, but if you really sit and analyze the storyline this second chapter brings us, it is completely and utterly preposterous and comes way out of left field, bordering on silly. So then why were the final five and ½ minutes forever burned into my mind? Because the execution was splendidly done and it was able to suspend you into disbelief due to the story being well set up. Everyone’s had that night out at one point. Everyone’s had that moment when you’re about to score in the most fantastic of ways then ends up not going the way you thought it would. But not everyone has had the fate that these three poor bastards were dealt. It subliminally incorporates that old 80’s slasher-film hypothesis that the promiscuous will get what’s coming to them and that they will get it good. And here, they do. Toss in some great gore effects, the perfect casting of Hannah Fierman as Lily, and some nice (but sadly, brief) gratuitous frontal male nudity (Rrrawr!) and you’ve got the makings of a well-executed not-to-be-soon-forgotten horror gem.  Seriously, it was in my mind for days after.

Second Honeymoon – Premise: A married couple, Sam (played by the unbelievably gorgeous Joe Swanberg. I am forever now a devoted fan. Seriously, I want to hang out with this guy) and Stephanie take a trek out West to bask in a second honeymoon. Stephanie takes a camcorder to record their goings on along the way and as they travel from town to town they rent a hotel room and hit the local tourist attractions, including a little spot with a heavy Country-Western theme. It is here where they put some money into a fortune-telling machine inhabited by a mannequin of an old man dressed in Western wear (think Tom Hanks and the movie Big) to which her fortune is revealed to be that she will be soon reunited with a ‘loved one’. Could it be the hooded visitor that came to their hotel room asking Sam for a ride? Could it be that same hooded visitor that breaks into their hotel room as they sleep later on that night just to video themselves caressing Stephanie’s body with a switchblade and steal a hundred bucks out of Sam’s wallet? So when he confronts her the next day about the missing money, the tension between them overtakes the situation and sends their vacation downhill. And when the hooded stranger comes back into the room the next night and (shockingly) offs poor unsuspecting (e.g., sleeping) Sam in a very brutal matter, you suddenly ask yourself who the hell is this person and how is it that they’ve gotten into the room? Before you can finish asking the question, here comes the reveal: The hooded person is actually Stephanie’s lesbian lover who’s followed them with the mission of offing Sam so they can be together. The ‘twist’ ending here didn’t provoke the emotions it should have, though. For starters let me say that I just love Ti West who directed this short. His films The House of the Devil and The Innkeepers are a great example of how movies in the new millennium can echo everything we loved about horror films from the 70’s and 80’s and I feel he’s going to become one of the most respected and beloved horror directors of this generation. But I have to say that by the way this story was presented, I would have never known this was the segment he’d directed. When the short ends with Stephanie and her girlfriend fleeing the scene with Stephanie frantically asking 'Did you erase it?', I will be honest and say that I was left with an uncomfortable feeling as it came to a close due to the issue of how the bi-sexuality of the characters was addressed.  Let’s just say if you know of/understood the controversy behind 1992’s Basic Instinct, you’ll know what I’m referring to. 

Tuesday the 17^th – Premise: A couple of friends, the absolutely cute Joey (pictured top and right), Wendy, Samantha and “Spider” go down to an old campsite where some murders took place, all guided by Wendy, who says she was there to witness the massacre as it happened. When she tells the group the story of how this killer offed her friends at the same place they’re hiking through, the others immediately dismiss her theories as madness,. The only problem is that the killer can only be seen in Wendy's camera as a figure obscured by tracking errors and we can’t see who he really is. When the entity end up killing Spider and Samantha, Wendy frantically takes Joey back to the lake to reveal to him that she’s lured them there to supposedly once and for all get revenge, with the intention of disposing of the killer herself. Sadly, this is the best part of this segment because as Wendy tries to seduce the slightly dim-witted Joey, he begins to rub his (hot) half-naked body in awkward shyness, tugging at his shorts and grabbing at his crotch. All I can say is that by this time, I’d lost interest in the story and spent the next fifteen minutes or so rewinding this part a few times. When I’d finally had enough, I pushed through the rest of the story and watched as Wendy sets up booby traps around the forest in an attempt to ‘kill’ the unseen force – but not after it slashes Joey’s throat – only to be ultimately killed herself by the same evil force she’s hunting. I didn’t care for this story very much, if I cared for it any at all. The previous two installments had some kind of originality and genuine scares to them, yet this one felt way too amateur to be included in a feature film as this. It felt like it had been put together by a high school AV club at the last minute and rushed to meet some sort of deadline. I didn’t feel anything for any of the characters – well, except Joey during that one sequence where he gropes himself – and I was actually very happy that they all met their demise. I was even happier when the segment came to a close. I was so unexpectedly put off by this one that I almost turned the film off altogether, but something told me keep going. I’d stay clear of this one, though.

The Sick Thing That Happened To Emily When She Was Younger – Premise: We are watching a Skype conversation between a woman named Emily and her boyfriend James, who is a doctor-to-be. They are talking back and forth about an accident that happened to her when she was a little girl, and that weird things are happening to her in her apartment. She mentions to him that she has some kind of growth in her arm and concerned about it, she takes to it with a scalpel, trying to remove it herself with grisly results. James reprimands her as she now believes her apartment is haunted. The next few minutes are some of the most confusing and bizarre sequences I’ve probably ever sat in front of. Something about aliens impregnating women and James being a cohort and Emily being a host for alien impregnation. I don’t know, It was so completely painful that I almost shut the movie off, but something again told me to hold on. Granted, the actor playing James was really good looking and we got to see him with his shirt off for a while, but that wasn’t enough for me to keep any sort of interest, which was slowly now beginning to frustrate me as this and the previous story had faltered to keep up the originality and dynamic of the stories that preceded it. It was confusing enough to the point where once the film had ended, I had to go to the Wikipedia link online for the film to read and understand just what it was that I’d sat through. This installment ends with James diagnosing Emily with schizophrenia and hooking up with a different girl via the same type of video-chat whom the aliens have chosen as a new host and who are now doing experiments on. The worst part of this was to read that this had been directed by Joe Swanberg, the same guy who played Sam in the “Second Honeymoon” short. Yikes.

10/31/98 – Premise: Four friends (one dressed as a nanny cam) are invited to a Halloween party and end up at what appears to be the wrong address. They go inside the house and weird paranormal things start happening to the point to where they conclude - and are convinced - that they’ve been duped into attending a haunted attraction for Halloween. The house is well kept and well set up, the décor is outright eerie, and the fact that they can’t find anyone in the house begins to freak them out. Well, that is until they get upstairs to the attic and walk in on a group of men shouting Bible verses at a woman bound by ropes. The guys think it is part of the attraction and join in on the chanting until one of the men – who happens to be their friend - begins to scream at them to get out. What they’ve actually walked in on is an exorcism that's well underway and let’s just say that the devil isn’t happy tonight. It is here that the story gets going and going it does. It immediately turns into a roller coaster ride of chills and spills and I’ve got to say, this was the most fun I’ve had watching any sort of found footage ever. It didn’t really scare me, but it sure as hell kept my interest up until the very end. I’ve never heard of the directing quartet known as Radio Silence, but let me say that they left their mark on me with this little piece of tape. The fellas think the poor girl is the victim and they try and rescue her, managing to get her out of the house as the house itself is now possessed, only to find later that she truly is a minion of the prince of darkness and she’s turned against them, despite their attempts to save her life. So what does she do? She teleports out of the car they’re in that's on the way to the hospital, causing it to stall onto some train tracks just as a train is careening toward them. And just as this chapter is about to close in the most violent manner, with the guys screaming at the top of their lungs, the tape comes to a stop, leaving us hanging. This was probably my favorite of the group of tales as it was so well done, set up and executed and the effects were fantastic (e.g. the arms protruding from the walls. Excellent!)

One of the things I feel needs to be said about the film, and it’s actually something that should be duly noted, is that a film of this nature should have failed miserably regarding content and execution. But, it doesn’t. It absolutely works. I was actually very impressed when the credits rolled and was very satisfied with the overall presentation of the material. Of course, I’m going to stick to my guns when I say that with the omission of “Tuesday the 17^th” and the alien story, the film would be close to perfect. Granted that the running time on the film is nearly two hours, cutting those two stories would bring the overall film to more of a standard and more viewer-friendly running time. There are a lot of unknowns in the cast and that’s another factor that makes the overall anthology work as a whole. Even though two of the stories weren’t to my liking, I do have to say that all of the directors did a good job. The only note that I have regarding the technical aspects of the film were the slight over-usage of the “video effects” that both connected the stores and that were present during most of the shorts did get a little cumbersome as they were presented here as part 'main part of the cast' instead of just using them sparingly. The homage to the Video Home System itself was noted throughout the film, especially during the narrative segments and it was great to see VCR’s lined up everywhere. I think it’s a travesty that VHS was phased out during the start of the new century. It’s great to see that there are other people in the world besides myself – especially people in the film industry – that still appreciate the format and are determined to keep its memory and legacy alive. I was reading an article online as I’m writing this that there is going to be a sequel, V/H/S 2 or better yet, S-VHS. On the sole merit of this film being what it was, I’m going to give the next collection in the series a chance. If I would have seen this just a few months sooner, V/H/S would have been included in my entry for the best of the 21^st century so far. This is one not to be missed. Good job, Magnet!

Horror Moderna: The Best of the 21st Century...So Far - Part 1

I’d like to take a moment to thank all of you for helping me get this blog up to the wonderful 10, 000 mark! (Actually as of today the site has over 10, 600 hits) You all are fantastic and have taken a keen and genuine interest in this blog and have blown it up over the last few months and for that I’m grateful. I’ve gotten many emails from my readers telling me how much they enjoy what I’ve presented here and as I promised – because the the ten-thousand mark has been met and thus surpassed – I’m going to strive to make at least one entry here at least once a week. It’s very satisfying to see that so many horror fans have come to this spot to check out my entries and to get to know me as both a writer and as a fellow horror fan. If you know someone who would enjoy reading this, I invite you to share it on Facebook or by word of mouth. If you’re a casual reader, I invite you to follow this blog so you can be updated every time a new entry is added. Thank you all again for making this blog what it is and cheers to another ten thousand reads!

 

Now, I know that maybe a few you are wondering why I'm writing about films released after the turn of the century if this entire blog is dedicated to everything with the decade twenty years preceding it. Well, for one, horror is horror and though my heart belongs to everything eighties there are a few gems here and there that I come across every so often that were released after the once-feared Y2K mark that capture my imagination and stay with me. I've actually been accused of being rather discriminative to all things modern in terms of horror and though I have my reasons for being so picky, I'm not completely closed to new experiences. A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of engaging in an IM session with a reader of this blog and we got to talking about modern horror and films released since the year 2000. I have to honestly admit that I’m not really into ‘horror moderna’ – only because I’ve sat through a slew of them and am instantly turned off by the production values some of them have. The over-use of CGI, the cookie-cutter and copy-cat elements taken from other films, the great number of tired remakes of films whose originals still remain a hundred times their superior, and most importantly, the endless absurd and/or disappointing endings and lack of originality that have caused my disinterest in the modern horror film. Now, I know there are some of you out there who stand firm and back the modern horror film. But remember, we’re all fans here. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Everyone is entitled to their unique points of view and voice them. That’s what makes the horror community what it is - endless opinions and likes and dislikes that form the huge melting pot that it is.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I haven’t dissed them all entirely. I have had the opportunity to sit through a good number of them. Aside from the plethora of torture porn films that came in this strange unannounced wave – which I still to this day will not sit through as I feel they’re a complete waste of time, I have given many films a chance. So the person I was IM-ing with posed to me a very good question, Hey Linus, what do you think are the best films of this millennium so far? The question to me was so intriguing that I thought I’d devote an entire blog entry to answer it. Now, take note that I haven’t seen a great number of films that have been released – as a great number of them have come out of Asia and Europe – but out of the good number of them that I’ve seen, here are what I think are the best ones so far. I’ll put them in random order:

High Tension (2003): Directed by Alexandre Aja, this film is one of the better films I’ve seen in recent day and it remains one of my top favorites of the new millennium and conversely, the oldest film in this particular posting. And it was rated NC-17 upon its initial release? An NC-17 slasher film? Call me pink with barely controlled glee! Though it was numbed-down to an R-rating here in the U.S. when it was unleashed on the movie-going public, I was disappointed that I wasn't able to catch it upon its first run and had to wait until the DVD was released. I would have loved to have seen it uncut with a group of people just to watch the mixed reactions of the audience as this is not a film for everyone. The French horror scene, though fairly misunderstood in this country, is one to be rivaled in recent day and it’s slowly becoming a top contender with other films coming from other parts of the world. When two friends go out into the country to do some studying, they are unknowingly followed by a homicidal maniac who brutally kills the entire family, except the two girls. This films boasts some of the best and well-executed murder set pieces I've ever seen presented on celluloid  and the best use of a piano as a killing device! Lots of blood, lots of slicing, and lots of...well, lots of blood! Borrowing heavily from Dean Koontz’s Intensity (you can deny this all you want but its true as I've read the novel...twice), the film changes the story in its final act and delivers a plot hole so big that you either take it and run or cuss it out with a vengeance. I can already hear you saying, it was all a what?!

Though it’s fast paced and terrifying on a very visceral scale, the ending is completely absurd – and was completely ripped off as Identity used the exact same ending a couple of years earlier. I always tell people jokingly, If you've seen Identity you've seen High Tension!  But as far as the actual horror aspect is concerned, it delivers – and with both panache and undeniable gusto. Aja creates a very terrifying atmosphere, delivering on all levels and even throws a little girl-on-girl undertone to round it out wonderfully. If you’re a sucker for the films released during the golden age of slashers, you are in for a major treat. And if you’re as die-hard of a fan as I am, you’ll see a couple of nods to some of the old films, like a brilliant (and very frightening) homage to the memorable subway bathroom scene in Maniac, and the absolute best [i.e., disturbing] circular-saw murder you will ever see. As far as I’m concerned, this is considered essential viewing when it comes to horror of the new millennium [and French horror, period] and a great launching point for those looking for somewhere to start. Positively fantastic.

Sinister (2012): I was able to get a hold of a bootleg copy of this film by a friend mainly because I didn’t have the time to go into the local theater to see it and I was very curious about both the film’s premise and how Ethan Hawke was going to pull off a horror role. Let me say that I was pleasantly surprised. From the film’s haunting opening image to the horrifying revelation at its close, this film was a welcome entry into my mind and my collection. This is one of those films that I can honestly say that will restore your faith in the American horror film after so many duds that have been churned out with the past few years. If you’re a horror fan, like myself, who has ‘seen it all’ and who has the attitude and idea that ‘it’s all already been done’ - though true, you’re seriously in for a real treat. 
 

 

The film’s plot, while being very basic – Hawke, a famous crime novelist,  and his family move into a home in which a case of 8mm films and a projector reveal the murders of several families that have lived there in the past which all tie together in a shocking (but predictable) twist – builds a sense of impending doom and genuine terror. With the help of a local deputy - who is actually a longtime fan of Hawke's character - the two team up in hopes to discover the secret that lies within the house.  I really don’t say this about many modern horror films, especially ones that are American-made, but this one stayed in my head long after it was over and that’s what counts. It knew its mission was to scare and disturb and it did it with a subdued panache and it delivered one hundred percent. The film is actually frightening - I’ll say that with confidence. It manages to crawl under your skin and keep you on the edge of your seat. There is way the film dissects the Oswalt family, having a troubled past that culminates in this one house asking why here? The only downside I found to this great film was that I was able to figure out the reveal – and the ending – about three quarters of the way through. Normally, once I ‘do the math’ I lose interest in the film and fast-forward it just to see if I was right and then turn it off. But, not this time. I actually can’t wait for this to come out on DVD (as most of the film takes place in the dark and the copy I received was even darker). It employs many (and I mean many) clichés and a slew of set pieces and techniques that we’ve all seen and are very familiar with. The marketing campaign for the film was hokey, as well, relying way too much on the tagline, "From the producers of Paranormal Activity and Insidious". For me, that sentence was the film's own death wish because most people who've seen those two films could automatically (and unfairly) assume that this new one could very well be in the same category yet this one stands on its own. With that said, I will stick to my guns and say that this is one of the better horror films to come out in a really long time. (The DVD is scheduled for a February ’13 release. And *Thanks*, C.K., for providing me with a copy of this!).

 

The House of the Devil (2009): Ti West’s film set in the 1980’s about a girl who takes a babysitting job to help pay for her new apartment is a fantastic delve into the long-forgotten sub-genre known as “satanic panic”, the endless films that came out during the Reagan administration having to do with everyday people living their lives worshipping the prince of darkness, the consequences that follow, and the innocent people who accidentally stumble onto/become involved in what comes next. This one is filmed with many elements that made the 80’s so fantastic and it works on all levels. It relies on mood and atmosphere to set its tone. From the opening scene (with Dee Wallace Stone!) until it’s strange (but yet predictable) closing, the film delivers an eerie mood of impending doom and does it with a style that completely imitates those films from back then that we hold in such high regard. So may touches that remind us of the 80’s (the disclaimer telling us that the film is based on true events, the opening title card freeze, the zoom techniques and stylistic touches in costume, sets and music) are used well and actually make me miss the slasher boom’s heyday.

The film actually manages to keep it simple and concentrate wholly on building suspense for the first half. It sort of plays like a modern Halloween keeping the gore to a minimum and relying on making you feel uncomfortable and frightened. Now, the third act is something to talk about as it does manage to induce a nightmarish feel just as we discover just what the hell is going on when we finally see why she'd been lured to that spooky house out in the country. The ending, though much too ambiguous for my tastes, did leave me thinking and I actually thought that the story concluded intentionally in the manner it did to provoke a possible sequel. I mean, let's face it, after the sheer terror that poor Samantha (Donahue) had to endure, I would have liked to have known just what happened to her once the end credits rolled and what ever became of that horrific night. At the time the film was released, there was even a clamshell promotional VHS floating around to keep in the spirit of the stylistic intent of the film and there were even several one-sheet posters released (with my favorite of the bunch being showcased above) each using classic 70’s and 80’s art techniques that made those classic films even better. The film is worth picking up as there’s a way West builds tension and fear that keeps you on the edge of your seat proving that he's a newcomer to watch out for. Topped off with great performances by Tom Noonan and Mary Waronov (and a fantastic debut from cutie-newcomer Jocelin Donahue) the film is memorable and a definite must-see. I’ve watched this more than a handful of times and it still gives me chills each time. 

The Descent (2005): I actually got to see this during its theatrical run back in 2006 (when it was released in the States) and was taken completely by surprise. The film follows a group of six friends, all women, who become trapped in a series of underground  caverns and then fall prey to a group of subterranean man-eating humanoids. Sounds absurd, yes? But wait, sit through it and you’ll have a different opinion.

Starting things off with a powerful (and memorable) opening scene, director Neil Marshall concentrates on mood and character development and as we watch the women enter as inseparable friends and end up fighting for their lives, and each other, we slowly feel their plight and begin to root for them a hundred percent. During some scenes in the film, you have to stop yourself and wonder, Could this really happen? Could there really be an underworld of sorts living below us that the human race is completely oblivious to? Could we really visit a place like this in real life and be confronted by something so terrifying beyond human comprehension? The settings are so real, so familiar. I mean, everyone has been to some type of National Park, some recreational place out and away from civilization where we "get away" to forget the rest of the world. A place we see as safe and wholesome. What if were confronted by an unknown evil, forced to fight for our own survival while at its mercy? The film actually makes you think, makes you ponder on the human existence and does it quite well.  There is an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia – and at times literally - and it’s presented on screen in horrific realism – and it actually manages to deliver the heebs on a grand scale. And speaking of the heebs, watch this movie and then look at the picture above - it will give you a good dose of 'em. (If you get the DVD, make sure you get the unrated version, as it contains the original ending that was altered for the American theatrical release.)

 

The Strangers (2008): From the moment I saw this trailer, I knew that it was going to rock my world. I made sure to see this in a theater back in ’08. A simple story that relies on atmosphere, mood and timing to make it one of the most frightening movies I’ve ever seen and one of the top-notch best this millennium has offered thus far. I've spoken with some horror fans about this one and there seems to be a divide down the middle with some of us on one side, saying it's a complete foray into urban terror while the others have the opinion that this film was built on endless unncecessary "jump scares" and empty shocks. A couple (Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman) whose engagement night suddenly takes a downhill plunge - which is actually portrayed quite well -  makes a turn for the worst as their home is invaded by a trio of masked people out to terrorize someone at random. There are scares aplenty, and some of the creepiest scenes you’ll ever see. Sure, I’ll admit that a lot of the movie is just clichés and re-used elements that we’ve seen over and over again but they’re put together to make a completely – in my opinion – original and very terrorizing story.  And by the way, after watching this you will never be able to hear Gillian Welch’s “My First Lover” ever again, period.

Does this movie scare me? Absolutely. Growing up in rural Texas and living out in the country, this could easily have happened to my family, or anyone living around us, which only heightens the feeling of terror for me when I’m actually brave enough to sit in front of it. For me, yes, it's that frightening.  A second installment about the masked assailants following a family who moves on account of the failing economy has been in talks since the release of the first film. Hopefully it will come to fruition as there are rumors that Liv Tyler would possibly be returning. The unrated version of the film accompanies the theatrical version on the DVD, but I do feel I have to warn you – there is a notice at the start of the DVD before the initial menu comes up that claims there is a possibility of damage to your player if you choose to watch the unrated version.  I did, and suffered the consequences. Yes, my DVD player did not work again after this DVD came out of it – which spooked the shit out of me - and had to resort to buying another one. Coincidence? You be the judge.

The Cabin in the Woods (2012): Ok, I know that I may be risking a lot here by including this one, but I can’t help it as I think it came completely out of left field and knocked my socks off. Having waited since 2010, as had a million other horror fans, I gave up on the notion of ever getting to see this one because it seemed like it was destined to be just another horror urban legend. But then the wonderful news that it was going to be released after all was brought to light and once again I was excited. Was Joss Whedon going to make our wait worthwhile and give us the ‘perfect’ horror film? Was this movie going to rock our worlds like it had been promised for years and years and leave us begging for more? Was this going to be more ‘monster movie’ than slasher as I’d been reading? When it was finally released this past year, I began to see on Facebook from friends of mine that had gotten the chance to see it before I did and was disillusioned by how many people were actually giving it the thumbs down and countless ‘not worth seeing’ reviews. With this, I told myself that I wasn’t going to risk being disappointed and decided to do some research and actually read every spoiler that was available to me about this. I found a website that gave away the entire plot of the film and said ‘oh, what the hell’ and read it because I’d already decided that I wasn’t going to see it based on word of mouth (I should really know better, right?). What I read was absolutely fascinating and I immediately thought to myself how the bloody hell are they going to pull [the plot and ending] off?

So I made my way downtown and bought myself a ticket to make my own opinion. And was I surprised to end up being wonderfully surprised [Yes, I'm aware that previous statement is gramatically reduntant]. And I could understand why: all of these friends that had been dissing the film weren’t horror fans in the least come to realize that the movie had been made for die-hard fans like myself, complete with obscure nods to 80’s films [pay attention during the "basement scene"], references to “the rules” and wonderful tongue-in-cheek jokes that balanced out the horror scenes to make a film that comes completely out of left field in both originality and execution.   I don’t want to go too deep into the schematics of why I ended up loving it the way I did or analyze it completely but I’ll tell you that I may just review it here soon and give you exactly what I think of it. This has been described as a “love hate letter” to the entire modern horror genre that takes every conventional cliché and “rule” and totally turns it topsy-turvy and I couldn’t have said it any better. You go into it at the beginning expecting one thing and it screws with your brain until it becomes nothing like what you thought it would be - smart, savvy, and memorable.  

Inside (2007): I was introduced to this film by a friend whom I trade DVDs with who said to me, you have GOT to see this one! Normally I’m weary of trusting anyone else’s recommendations but his enthusiasm for this one drove me to sit at the computer and look it up. I began to research it and honestly, the cover of the U.S. Dimension Extreme release didn’t do anything for me as it appeared very ‘torture porn-y’. But before I completely dismissed it, I continued to read about its premise and the more I did, the more curious I became. So I made a few phone calls and within a few days, I had a copy of this in my hand. Known overseas as A l'interieur, this is the second French horror film on this list, and for very good reason. A pregnant photographer named Sarah (Alysson Paradis) is involved in a horrible automobile accident that tragically kills her fiancé leaving her alone just as the Holidays are approaching. Come Christmas, she is visited by a strange woman (an absolutely sexy woman named Beatrice Dalle) who knocks on her door and asks to use the telephone. What ensues is not only the most frightening and shocking home invasions ever captured on film, but one of the goriest and brutal films I’ve ever seen, hands down.

 My jaw hit the floor at the start of the second act and let me say that attempting to pick it up was a task as at every turn I was treated to one horrifying scene after another presented with such realism that it has to be beheld to be believed. I don’t think I’ve ever screamed out loud in pure terror as I have with this film and when I started putting together the pieces, the shocking twist – and absolutely disturbing ending - proved that I could still be blown away by a piece of cinema. This is one of those movies that I enjoyed so much that I don’t want to give away anything because you have to see it for yourself, especially for the final cryptic scene. I have to warn you though that this one is absolutely not for the faint of heart. Even for me, the gore hound, this was very difficult to sit through in its entirety. If you can make it to the end in one sitting, you're stronger than I am. Bring it on, France!  (*Thanks* Jay R., for recommending this one - and providing me with a copy!)

 

In My Sleep (2010): Well, I’m not sure I should actually place this in the “horror” category but it was close enough. I’m not going to beat around the bush or tell a fib, but the one and only reason I even took any interest in this one was because of the one-sheet art: an almost fully-naked man in a white bed holding a knife. That pretty much sold me. Why lie? So you can imagine how excited I was to not only see that Mr. Philip Winchester was in this film, but he spends a good ¼ of the film in just in freakin’ underwear! Now, I hate to be biased but if you know who this mega-hottie is, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. But, I have to be fair and say that after the first couple of minutes- which includes a nice opening scene of Mr. Winchester almost naked in a cemetery, the film had me in its grasp. Simple story: Marcus (played by Winchester) who has a strange sleep disorder called parasomnia which causes him to do things while he sleeps that he can’t remember later. Oh, and to top it off, he’s a nymphomaniac and a sex addict. Yep, a sex addict, and a sex addict who actually attends meetings. Are you fanning yourself yet? (LOL) Things take a turn for the worst, though, when he wakes up one morning to find himself covered in blood and hearing the police knocking at his door. It doesn’t help to find out that his best friend’s wife has been murdered. What transpires is a very interesting and surprisingly satisfying whodunit that relies on good storytelling and character development. Lacey Chabert is in this one as Marcus’ neighbor and though she plays the same character in practically everything she’s in – including this – she emits a likeable quality this time around. And did I mention Winchester walks around in his underwear [and by ‘underwear’ I mean snug boxer briefs] for a good ¼ of the film?!  

 

oh Joy!
 

There are a few others that I’d like to mention but for the sake of keeping this article readable, I’ll be writing a second entry for this and share with you all what I think are some of the best stuff that's been made in the 21^st century. Feel free to share your opinions or what you think are the best ones so far and leave comments as I’d love to hear what you guys have to say. If you guys have any suggestions or can lead me to any hidden gems - again, anything but torture porn - I'd welcome them. Again, thank you all for the 10, 000 hits – you guys are fantastic!