Linus Loves 80's Horror! - A Tribute Blog

A New LL80sH is coming!

2011-05-02T15:34:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone!

Since I last posted my horror collection has exploded in a way I never expected it to.

With that said, I'm in the process of re-vamping and re-doing the site to coincide with all the great stuff I'm getting my hands on.

Keep your eyes peeled and I will let you all know once the new improved site (along with all the new reviews, stories, and articles) is up. Thanks for following!

-LEONEL

The Horror Store...Is OPEN!

2010-11-10T12:51:00.000-08:00

The official Linus Loves 80's Horror Store is up!

After talking to some of you and after much consideration I have pulled out the majority of my collection out of hiding and making it available. I've decided to open a store just for you horror enthusiasts like myself. I've got some out-of-print and hard to find stuff. Go check the mini-site out and let us know what you think! If you're curious about ordering from me, send me an email at linusloves80shorror@ymail.com and I will send you over what I have available!

Order now so you can have them shipped for the Holidays! Only 6 weeks left until Christmas!

Enjoy, guys!

Click here to see our store!

The Chamber of Thrills!

2010-11-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

Yes, I know that Halloween 2010 has come and gone but for some reason, both facebook and this site would not allow me to upload the run-through of Reedley's haunted attraction, The Chamber of Thrills. After many attempts to do so on both sites, I managed to get it on YouTube and wanted to share it with you all on here. As most of you know, haunted attractions such a these are mostly immersed by darkness, so you will see a good amount of it here. But let the sounds be your guide. I especially love the ending - how it goes from complete chaos to eerie silence. There's nothing like being a horror fan and actually being chased by a guy with a real chainsaw! You have to live it once to appreciate it.

Thank you again to Lore Callahan who let me capture it on video exclusively for LL80'sH, and to the cast and crew for showing us a good time. You guys were awesome - can't wait for next year!

-Linus

Nightmare On 10th Street! - Halloween 2010

2010-10-30T23:47:00.000-07:00

Welcome the the 2010 Halloween edition of LL80sH, after a couple of months of silence. I know, it's been awhile, but did you think I would forget the busiest and most-favorite time for horror fans everyone? I think eh-not!

Tonight I'd like to bring to you a glimpse of this year's local Halloween attraction - the Chamber of Thrills, presented by the Greater Reedley Chamber of Commerce located in downtown Reedley, California. So what happens when one of the most beloved and well-known haunts in the area is forced to close down for the season? They ignore adversity and come back in a different venue with a vengeance!

So, being the avid horror fan that I am, I just knew that I had to attend this little psycho-fiesta. I always like to tell people that I meet that are interested in horror that there's nothing quite like the feel of walking through something as visceral as a haunted attraction. Sure, I could see that some would argue that with places like Six Flags and Busch Gardens holding their own version of scare-fests for the October season (with huge production budgets), but it doesn't compare to what the minds of a local group of people passionate about horror (and a low budget) can conjure up.

So the first thing I did when I arrived was walk in without any expectations, just like walking into a horror film that you're about to see for the first time. You know that you've seen films that have scared you half to death, but then again you have seen those that have bored the holy crap out of you that you never want to see again. If you expect too much in this genre, there's that chance that you will be disappointed. So I just sucked it up and got my tickets. I wore my "Ghostbusters" T-shirt in the hopes that someone in the crowd would recognize and appreciate the irony of it, but alas, the irony itself was the fact that the two dragon puppets (which were a fantastic and rather deranged tribute to Statler and Waldorf of "The Muppet Show") that welcomed you to the attraction, got the inside joke and pleaded with me to not call the Ghostbusters on them!

Before even walking into the attraction, I was treated to several choruses of young female screams as one of the actors playing a demon of Lucifer's legion popping out of nowhere and terrorizing the group of said girls. And by "terrorizing" I mean seriously scaring them. This actor was relentless about staying in character and chased the group as their screams echoed through the waiting are of the entrance. And let me tell you, it was pretty convincing. As I looked around, several of the characters made their presence known and it set a great tone for what was waiting inside: A creepy version of Raggedy Ann - along with her severed head in a basket, an actor dressed as a seven-foot rat, A man who adorned his face with barbed wire and blood (carrying a huge axe!), and a person with the body of a human being, and the head of a fox. Don't get me wrong, I know these were people dressed up, but you couldn't help but slowly get sucked into the madness that was about to happen.

The verdict: Amazing! From the moment we walked into the psychedelic and black lit 3-D prologue, I had a feeling this was going to be a memorable ride. Everything from deranged clowns, an insane asylum, to a very spooky walk through a cornfield - that seriously gave me the "Children of the Corn" creeps. What I was struck by the most was that everyone was in character and did what they needed to do to remain so. People popping out from the darkness to grab you and get you to scream out loud, to characters literally following you through the maze - and with (what looked like) real weapons!.

For one brief moment, if you're in the right mindset, of course, you are right in the center of a scene in a horror film. Complete with the rushing adrenalin and that real feeling that someone is after you! For me, though, having been immersed in 70's and 80's horror from such a young age was the attraction's closing point: Walking through the exit, thinking that it's all over only to be confronted by a chainsaw-wielding maniac! And with a real chainsaw! Now if that isn't enough to shit your pants - I don't care how tough you think you might be - then you're a lost cause. The perfect - and completely unexpected - finish to an experience such as this. And forget two two-minute lasting, people--waiting-in-long-lines-behind-you, gotta-move-you-quick-to-get-everyone-through nonsense. How about spending along the line of ten minutes within the annals of a twisted spectacle such as this thrown by people who obviously know what they're doing?

But, let's talk about what I loved the most: The cast. I don't think I've ever come across a more friendly, more experienced bunch of people. And they all knew why they were there and what their main focus was: to entertain and to scare the hell out of you. Though I have to admit that while I spent most of my time laughing (from all the fun I was having), I did have a moment or two in which the Jack McFarland in me came out and I yelped out like, for lack of a better analogy, a helpless puppy in search of its master. My friend Darlene (Admin for the Chamber) and her eight year-old son Paul accompanied me and needless to say it was a night that we would not soon forget.

I'm hoping that this particular attraction returns to Reedley next year soI can do it all over again (Thanks to Lore Callahan, who put this all together, for letting us experience it not once but twice.) Thank you to all the crew (in particular the two great gents who guided us into the attraction), and cast who took the time out to talk with me, and pose for great pictures: Creepy Raggedy-Ann gal, Axe-wielding man, the character known as "Monster", creepy guy with the machete, 7-foot rat guy, Fox-human (Lore), Hillbilly guy (seen above), Chainsaw guy, Insane Asylum doctor-guy, Hippie guy, and my two favorite characters: "Big Red" who was decked out in fabulous drag, and the guy I call, "Mel-Gibson-as-Braveheart-dude". You guys were wonderful and showed a horror-obsessed guy a really good time.

Happy Halloween 2010 everyone!

If you're the slightest bit of a horror fan, I recommend that you seek out something of this type in your local area. There's nothing like being scared and having a great time at a place like this.

To see all the great photos from my visit to the Chamber of Thrills (and some are pretty great), click here.

Chopping Mall (1986)

2010-09-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

First of all let me say that any film with a title this fun has got to be worth a look at least one. But when you have a film that has both a great title and an even catchier tagline, you've got to go for the gusto. This film is probably the best example of the two from a film coming out of the mid 80's (the exception, of course, being the tag line for The Mutilator).

This is one of those video box covers that stayed with me throughout the course of my young years. Every single mom and pop store and grocery store video section had this, I mean, it was everywhere. There was something about the art that just intrigued me but enough to where I shyed away from it. Maybe it was because it was of its suggestive gruesomeness? Maybe because something that cool was actually that scary? Seriously, when have you ever seen a film's one-sheet look this great? I remember finally picking it up back at the old H-E-B grocery store that was on old Highway 83 in Weslaco, Texas back when I was in my teens and took a good look at the back. Nothing to fear, I told myself. I didn't see anything all too graphic so I was pretty sure I was safe. Little did I know that I wouldn't actually pick this one up until much later on.

I found my Lightning VHS copy at a pawn shop when I was living in Missouri back in 2003. I'm not sure as to why I never sat down to actually watch it but nonetheless, it was in my then-budding horror collection so that was all that mattered. When it was finally released by Lions Gate (though I swear by everything in my that Anchor Bay had released it first), I took a Friday night and sat down to finally sit through this. Let me tell you, I was quite tickled.

First of all, any film that opens up in the annals of an 80's shopping mall, complete with not only cameos by the wonderful Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov but playing reprising their roles as the Blands from Eating Raoul...you know that you're in for something interesting. The plot is actually very simple: Robots are created to replace, rather, enhance, security at the local mall. Some kids find a way to stay trapped inside for the night to party on, have sex, blah blah blah. Little do they know that the robots are in full swing, and ready to kill. Their mission? Break out of the mall without dying in the process. Sounds very run-of-the-mill for that time period, right?

In one sense of the word, it is, but on the other hand, it was pretty original for the time it was made and released. Sure, we had seen a horror film set in a shopping mall before (Dawn of the Dead), but this one was a little different. First of all, it screams 80's and that for me was enough to keep me hooked. Any film that has posters for films like Slumber Party Massacre in their backgrounds gets props from me. It's the whole boys-wanna-make-it-with-the-girls-and-the-jock-guy-has-the-hot-slutty-girl-the-average-guy-has-the-average-girl-and-they-both-want-to-set-their-nerdy-guy-up-with-one-of-their-girlfriends routine that we've seen in other films. But just like Hide and Go Shriek, it works. Hottie Russell Todd (who was so underused in Friday the 13th - part 2, which, surprisingly, Lions Gate incorrectly credits him on the back of the DVD cover as being in the first film) along with two other cuties to make this one a particularly entertaining piece to watch.

I will say, though, that I was disappointed in the fact that both the title and film's tagline are completely misleading. No one gets "chopped" and nobody loses an "arm and a leg" though it was pretty cool to see that the one of the kills in the film depicts a rather cool head explosion ala Scanners (Thank God, too, Miss First Victim was quite annoying). The rest of the kills aren't all that great, but it didn't seem to bring the rest of the film down. Kinda makes you wonder what it would be like to be really trapped in a mall with all your friends with killer robots after you. Horror fans know that the original title of the film was Killbots and the behind the scenes featurette with the director and original designer of the bots give a little insight about how it all came to pass. It's actually quite good, though it runs a bit short.

The bottom line on this one is that you're going to be disappointed if you're expecting something over the top, especially with the title of the film being as cool as it is. Because the film's negative was in legal limbo during the time the DVD was made, a VHS master was used as the source (I wondered why there was a Lightning Video logo at the end of the presentation). Even with that said, the picture quality and sound aren't bad at all. I didn't even know it was a VHS master until the last moment of the DVD so that should tell you something. The trailer is on there, though, it doesn't leave much to the imagination and in my opinion, gives just a tad too much away. But I love how the trailer ends, with the Blands rolling their eyes at the camera which gives the slight misleading notion that they are in the core of the film rather than the five minutes they actually have screen time. But that I will overlook.

Because this film seriously reeks of 80's, it's worth a look and if you're a completist, this should already be in your collection. Some of the dialogue is ridiculous but the overall tone of the film and the (partial) originality of the script make this one of the better 80's teen horror films not to be set in a campground. And it's one of the better ones to be set in a retail scenario (again, I include Hide and Go Shriek). Just...go get it.

2010-09-11T06:41:00.000-07:00

Linus Loves 80's Horror is now on Facebook!

Join the group and spread the word! Feel free to comment and add posts as you wish. And thank you to those of you who have been loyal followers from the beginning. You guys rock!

Eaten Alive (1977)

2010-08-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that I always like to stress to either a horror newbie or a veteran looking to expand his horror horizons: Always know a film's alternate titles and pseudonyms! I can't tell you how many horror fans I've talked to and who have missed out on some great films solely because they didn't know that the film(s) they were looking for were right under their noses at their local video store! (Listen to me, talking like the American Establishment known as the mom and pop video store (or even rental store chain) still exists!)

This film is a prime example, boasting not one but seven different alternate titles. Let me flash back to the mid 80's. It's a stormy night in the Rio Grande Valley and I'm late watching TV on my mother's portable black and white set. The thunder is looming overhead and suddenly the screen goes black and this announcer starts telling the story about a monster lurking in the outback. I see something in the distance on the screen and as the announcer continues, this figure comes closer and closer to the screen. Soon enough, I see that it's the mouth of a creature coming closer to me and I freeze in total fear. The narrator stops and announces what I derive to be a coming horror film. The image you see to the left is now on the screen and as the announcement ends with the ominous voice stating, "Legend of the Bayou. Pray it isn't true.", a bite is taken out of the word "Bayou" and the screen goes black.

You don't forget something like that when you're nine years old.

I'd been looking for this particular film for a while now but never could locate it. For starters, I was looking for it with it's alternate title on the left (insert Price Is Right loser music here). One day I was researching another film on line and I bumped into a description of this film with its original title Eaten Alive. When I read the list of alternate titles and saw Legend of the Bayou as one of them, I think I squealed out of pure delight! And I'm being serious. So my research went in a different direction. I quickly learned that there was a DVD print available from Elite Entertainment. (sigh) Ah, Elite. How I love each and every one of your releases. Sadly, though, I couldn't find anyone that had a copy for sale. That is, until last week. I finally got my hands on said Elite version at Rasputin's (for a very low price! Um, about $3.95?) and I was on top of the world. Now, getting my hands on it was one thing. Sitting through it was going to be something else. I mean, when you direct something as landmark and as influential as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, can your follow-up film measure up?

The answer to that is a simple 'no', ONLY because this is a completely different type of film. But when your follow-up film's opening is a man unzipping his fly and spouting the unbelievable line, "My name is Buck and I like to fuck", you know you've tapped into something ultra-special. The premise is simple: Young girl flees a brothel and checks into a local seedy motel on a creepy swamp lake. Hotel owner has a huge crocodile (yes, a crocodile) that he feeds unsuspecting victims to. Sounds cheesy? Sure it does. But this film executes the idea well.

Ok, let me stop and say something. And I know I'm probably going to get a lot of slack for this but I'm one of your more outspoken and unique horror bloggers so here goes: What is the deal with Mr. Robert Englund in this film? Geez, I've seen him in everything from 976-EVIL to Slashed Dreams and never in any of the films I've seen with him has he looked so damn hot! I mean, this is Freddy Kreuger we're talking about here, right? Lord, have mercy, the man comes out in a wife beater and tighty whities! I will probably never see him in the same light ever again. (Lets out a large heaved sigh).

Okay, with that said, let's move on to the rest of the film. For being what it is, Tobe Hooper did a great job. Great performances by Mel Ferrer, Neville Brand, and of course, Chainsaw veteran Marilyn Burns, which, IMO was hired for this film just because the girl can scream. And boy can she scream! The story itself is a bit drawn out at times, but you get a feel for the characters and their plight to escape the evils of ol' Judd and his killer croc. The special effects are not bad for being 1977.

Now wait a minute, now I'm confused. If I saw the trailer for "Legend of the Bayou" on television in the mid 80's, was it re-released just with a different title? I'm going to have to look that up. I remember a kid that went to my church during that time got his dad to take him and see it and I can remember the jealousy I felt because he was able to see it. And now that I'm older, I'm even more jealous that he got to see it on the big screen. I'm even wondering as to why Elite wasn't able to get the TV spots for this one with their different titles? It would have been really great to re-live that little piece of my childhood again. To see that black screen with the eerie mouth coming closer...and closer...and closer......

If anyone has that trailer, or knows where I can see it, PLEASE let me know.

Hell Night (1981)

2010-08-28T06:47:00.001-07:00

Oh "Hell Night", the memories that you bring back. Well, let me rephrase that: Oh the memories that your one-sheet poster art brings back.

Picture it: Reedley, California, the summer of 1982. A small mom and pop video store on the edge of the downtown area - the one place that started it all for me and my love of horror. There's a huge piece of my heart that's still in that store though it's been dead and gone for over two decades, and I look back on those times very fondly. Though my mother and siblings went in for the latest Tom and Jerry videos, little did they know that I was secretly gawking and absorbing the rest that the little video store offered.

"Hell Night" was probably the very first horror image that was burned in my brain for all eternity. Linda Blair screaming out into a dark night, the eerie moon hovering over a dark and chilling house. The hands that reached up for her, pulling her toward the ground. But what I remember most is the film's tagline: "Pray For Day". It was amazing and just looking at the poster art to the left sends a chill down my spine. It reminds me of the days when my naivety about 80's horror would soon blossom into a curiosity that I wouldn't be able to resist.

Sadly, this particular mom and pop was the only place I'd ever remembered seeing the VHS for this. Not sure as to why I never saw it anywhere else (from what I remember) but I didn't come across this one again until I came across the Anchor Bay double-bill edition with "Fade To Black", so of course, I snagged it and took it home with me. But, I put in on my shelf with the rest of my films and there it stayed for a while. Then, I was lucky enough to find a used copy of the solo AB edition and poof! there it stayed on my shelf for a while, as well.

It wasn't until just last week that I came across it while fiddling with my ever-growing collection and thought to myself, "You know, I need to sit down and finally watch this." So I grabbed my cousin and slipped this into the DVD player not knowing what to expect. I had already seen the lovely Ms. Blair in the atrocities known as "Grotesque" and "Witchery" so I was thinking this film would probably go the same route. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised how a well-known and very-used storyline could end up to be so entertaining.

Simple pimple: Four fraternity/sorority pledges have to spend one night in the infamous Garth Manor, scene of a slaughter years earlier. But, as the house heads are the one playing the pranks, little to they (and the pledges) know, that they are being stalked by an unknown person. I won't get into much of what transpires in the film because when the credits rolled, I immediately added this to my "essentials" list and was pissed off at myself for not having watched it sooner. I love that the film begins with a slamming frat party complete with good looking men, lots of goils and beer and music. Then the films takes the minimalist approach, having only a handful of characters remain for the duration of the film. The plot has been used before, yes, but I loved how director Tom De Simone took it and ran with it giving us some genuine suspense and great moments of terror. Linda, fresh off her stints in The Exorcist and Exorcist II, looks great as does Peter Barton (before his role in Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter) and the rest of the cast.

For being a slasher, this one was a little bit over the rest of them. Surprisingly, I had a great time watching this one and I loved it's ending even though about a third of the way through, I figured it out. The film's final scene was great and I actually stood up and applauded as the credits rolled. Believe me, it was worth the wait. Now I'm actually thinking of obtaining the one-sheet and displaying it on my beloved horror wall. The version I watched with the AB single version, but I checked AB's double-bill with Fade To Black and it's the same version with the same extras. I just read that the double-bill one is worth some money now that it's extremely out of print. I was lucky enough to find it at a flea market for about 2$! Sadly, I hadn't seen that version beforehand, and I haven't seen it since. I would really like to collect all of AB's double-bills. But that's another story.

The verdict: A classic slasher from a great era that sadly no longer exists...and never will again. If you see it, pick it up. It's a must see.

Piranha (1978)

2010-08-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

Usually when I post up an entry like this into this blog, I like to give a small history of how I came into contact with a particular film for the first time and give a history of the first time I picked up a VHS copy of said film and go from there. For some reason, I can't ever remember seeing this on VHS anywhere in the many places I frequented to gawk at endless videocassette boxes resting on shelf after shelf. I don't remember seeing this anywhere in theatres nor anywhere on cable television.

I learned of this film in my later teenage years and read about it here and there and when I read that it was nothing more than a B-version of Jaws, I immediately dismissed it and that was the end of that. I had already seen that film and frankly, it didn't do anything for me so why was I going to spend time watching something that was blatantly ripping it off?

When I began my quest to become a great horror-collector and future horror-blogger, I began sticking my nose in books and reading website after website to learn more about these films that fascinated me during my youth. My parents raised me very strict, so it was impossible for me at that age to have been the fanatic that I'd always wanted to be. So I told myself then that when I was old enough, I would go back to my horror roots and immerse myself in the splatter goodies that I'd come to familiarize myself with as a kid.

I received the news that Shout! Factory was going to put this out as a part of their Roger Corman Classics banner and immediately, I started my reading. I wasn't too interested at first look, honestly, but once I read that the lovely Barbara Steele was in it (who was fantastic in The Silent Scream, one of my favorites), I couldn't resist. I'm not one to hone directly to B-films though I can appreciate the mere camp and production values these kind of films can offer, but the more I read, the more I was interested in the story of how the character fish, being part of a government military experiment, are accidentally set free by an agent sent to look for two missing hikers. The fish threaten not only a local summer camp, but a water park located at the end of the same river. So when the DVD was released, I went out and purchased it. Let me say right now that I was really impressed with the packaging: Lenticular outer 3-D sleeve, reversible cover boasting both the style A and style B of the poster art. So I pop it into the DVD player and watch.

The film, unfortunately, takes a while to get started, which thankfully is the film's only flaw. SF's transfer is great, with minimal grain and fuzz and for a movie so obscure, it was given a great treatment. The first forty-five minutes are drawn out to tell the story of how the fish originated in the swimming pool at the military facility and were released. We get some good character development and some great f/x. But once the last reel comes in, all hell breaks loose both at the summer camp and at Lost River Lake. The film ends rather ominously and it's a great finale to a surprisingly great story. I shouldn't have dismissed so quickly as a rip-off of that other 70's fish film. This film can actually stand on its own, boasting a character all its own. The great gore f/x weren't so over the top so you actually could believe this could happen to you. The acting wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be, which was a great relief (I mean c'mon! Paul Bartel is in this film! And so is Melody Scott! You know, Nikki from The Young and the Restless??) All in all it's a great piece of horror history that you need to have in your collection.

Now let me go just a little further on SF's release. Wow, what a great jobs. In all the mass of horror DVD's that are in my collection, I have never actually sat through all the special features included in one disc. This one was a first. Everything between a new behind-the-scenes featurette (with great interviews with Joe Dante and Mr. Corman himself), scenes that were included in the television broadcast version (which were actually quite good), bloopers and outtakes and a great gallery of still photos and poster art. This one was lovingly done. I'm sure that whomever put this DVD for Shout! Factory had to have really loved this film. You can tell that it was a labour of love and honestly, it scores major points for Shout! Factory. They are about to release B-film greats such as Humanoids from the Deep, Up From the Depths and the complete Slumber Party Massacre collection this fall. You can bet that I'm going to buying each of them. I do own its sequel Piranha II: The Spawning on VHS but held off in seeing this until I could screen its predecessor. If only more companies gave classic films this kind of treatment. Yowza!

Evilspeak (1981)

2010-06-30T03:29:00.000-07:00

Let me be the first to say that I'm not a fan of films that have to do with the subject of satanism, for a million and one reasons, which we won't get into now. I was raised in a Christian home and there were certain things that were considered taboo and forbidden in our household and that particular subject was one of them, point blank.

In the realm of horror films, there are many that touch on this particular subject - everything from The Exorcist to John Russo's Midnight. And though I've seen both those films, it's not because I was curious of the particular subject matter in each of those films. With that said, I was going through the DPP video nasty list - yet again - and I saw this one not only had made it to the list, but was actually prosecuted and banned under the Video Recordings Act of 1984 due to violence and the subject of satanism. I read more about this film and for some reason, I became interested in tracking it down and watching it, just to see what it was all about. I could relate to the plot: Nerdy kid gets picked on only to be able to get revenge, so this would be the basis of my reason for watching it.

I found out that Anchor Bay had released this film many years ago and was now out of print. Searching the net, I came across the original AB DVD that was selling for silly amounts of money (only because it was no longer being manufactured) and almost gave up until I found a collector who was willing to send me a DVD-R of said AB version so I could finally screen it. Well, needless to say when the DVD-R arrived, it was unplayable so I took that as a sign and gave up on seeing it altogether. Several months later, I actually did come across the out of print AB version at the local Rasputin's and picked it up used for about $9.95, which was much cheaper that what I'd been seeing it go for on the internet. My cousin and I sat down with popcorn in hand and put it into the DVD player. Was I nervous? Yes. Simply because...well, you know why. He, also, was uncomfortable with viewing the film as well but after an hour or so after talking him though it and promising that the slightest bit of "extremism" will prompt me to turn the movie off, no questions asked, he agreed. So we sat back, and waited for the next hour and a half to pass.

The verdict?

Son-of-a-b!tch I loved this movie! And I bet you're thinking, "what?"

So the movie opens with a bizarre sacrificing ritual about a guy who was banished from the church or something and commends his life to the devil, complete with nudie girl and everything. After this happens, we flash foward to the present day.

Stanley Cooper Smith (brilliantly played by Clint Howard) is attending a military academy and sadly, he isn't the most popular kid in school. He can't play soccer, he's a nerd, and all the guys hate him and pick on him. The superiors know of all this and do nothing to help the poor kid out and right away, you feel for him because the people around him make his life hell (no pun intended). So one day, Stanley finds this strange book which is the book of satan and he discovers that he can call upon the spirit of Estaban (which, in reality, is the name of the guy from the film's prologue) and wreak havoc on his classmates. Sort of like Carrie only with a Commodore 64 as the spirit of a dead guy as his tools. He uses the catacomb under the school to "practice" and soon enough, vengance is his.

There is plenty of gore here to boot and it's all done with such panache that you just can't ignore it. The film itself doesn't really delve into actual "satanism" as the spirit that Stanley calls upon isn't of the devil himself, but of someone who had been a follower. Sure, there are pentagrams at every turn and there are some brief moments of blasphemy that I had to overlook, but once I realized the "big picture", the film was actually surprisingly enjoyable. Maybe it's because I was picked on and tormented in school and deep inside I still harbor some unresolved issues? Maybe I would have liked the chance to "get back" at all those guys who picked on me on the school grounds and the athlectic fields? Maybe that's something I should save for my shrink?

At any rate the film boasts some fantastic and memorable moments. Everything from the pig rampage to the films ultra-gory climax. I enjoyed every minute of it. My cousin, surprisingly, enjoyed it just as much as I did. The gem of this whole production of course, is Clint Howard. He is just amazing in this and shows those bastards when it's time for their come-uppance. He plays the role of the outcast very well and when it's time for him to kick some ass, he KICKS SOME ASS. You can't help but root for the guy, especially when you see all that he's put through.

The ending is left pretty much ambigouous, leaving the viewer to figure out just what happened. Usually the good guys win in pictures like these, but in this case, we get the opposite. And for some reason, I liked that outcome. This one is a good time and I wouldn't say that if I really didn't have fun myself watching this forgotten piece of work. I remember seeing the VHS back in the 80's at Carl's Supermarket in Weslaco, Texas when I was in the seventh or eighth grade and the box art was something I never forgot. I wish that the DVD release put out by AB would have had the U.S. poster art instead of a derivative of the UK version. The picture is great and the soundtrack is just as good. I would say this one is worth seeking out if you can find it. Sadly, it's state of being out of print prevents many gore-hounds from tracking this down. Either AB should re-release it or BU should pick it up and give it's own release, because this one is an overlooked good time just waiting to happen.

Yowza!

La Semana del Asesino (Cannibal Man) (1972)

2010-06-30T02:29:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing I love, it's a horror film that takes its time in getting into your brain. One that uses plot and imagery to slowly take you deeper and deeper into its arms until it doesn't want to let go. These types of films are more effective in my book. Sure, we all love gore and jump scares, but what about those films that use tension, mood, and atmosphere to create a sense of doom and despair?

I've known about Cannibal Man for a while now, seeing that it was on the DPP list of Video Nasties back in the eighties. Anchor Bay had first released this and then several years later, Blue Underground re-released it with alternate art. A few months ago, I'd seen the BU version at my local Rasputin's but for some reason, I didn't pick it up. I went back the next week to see if it was still there, but alas, someone had swiped it for their own collection. I then found it again - but this time it was lodged in the "Cult" movie section and I was so excited to see that it was AB's first release that I'd come across. Without thinking, I purchased it (for a modest $7.95) and I took it home so that my cousin and I could finally sit through this one.

The story opens with the inner sanctum of a slaughter house, complete with cow carcasses and blood galore. With this, I wasn't sure as to what to expect. We are then introduced to Marcos (the beautiful Vicente Parra), an employee of said slaughter house and the life he lives in 70's Spain, complete with his humble home out in the middle of a deserted area of the city. One night as he and his girlfriend are out on the town, he becomes involved in a scuffle with the taxi driver they are taking home. He accidentally kills the taxi driver and what transposes from there is one of the most amazing downward spirals I've ever seen captured on film. His girlfriend knows of the murder...will she turn him into the police? Instead of taking a chance, he kills her. When she is presumed missing, someone comes to look for her. To hide her murder, her kills the person coming to look for her. And so on...and so on....and one by one, he takes their remains and disposes of them in the slaughter house's incinerator to erase any trace of them. But who is the man who is watching him from far away? What does he know? And will he tell Marcos that he's been witnessing every murder taking place?

This is a great piece of film making. The photography is superb and direction by Eloy de la Iglesia is absolutely remarkable. The Spanish title translated as "The Week of the Assassin" is more true to the film's overall plot, as Marcos kills for seven days in a row. There is absolutely no cannibalism in the film (which was probably why it was placed on the video nasties list to begin with), which though misleading, it redeems itself with a strong storyline. We watch as Marcos kills again and again and the more he kills, the more he begins to lose touch with reality and the life he's used to leading. He slowly begins to fade away, the murders haunting him day after day until he finally reaches his breaking point. His house soon becomes a den of secrets, each one eating away at him more and more. The ending is both sad and disturbing, as Marcos decides to give in to his madness and turn himself in.

If you're looking for gore, there is not much of it here. If you're expecting cannibalism, you might as well stay clear of this one. But if you love a strong storyline and beautiful photography, then I do recommend this. I was expecting something completely different when I put this into the DVD player for the first time, but I was taken away but a great story, some good gore scenes, some great photography, and some really handsome men. I know that this review is short, but seek this one out. The AB version is already out of print so the BU version will be your best bet. Don't be fooled by BU's cover art though as it can be misleading to what the story is all about and was clearly used solely to attract. They don't make them like this anymore.

Island of Death (Devils in Mykonos) (1975)

2010-06-29T01:04:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me say that it's great to be back. Apologies for not having posted on this blog for quite some time but due to working two jobs and other life situations, I've been forced to stay away from here. On the bright side of that, my horror collection has exploded and I've been lucky enough to get my hands on some rare finds and other films that I've been waiting to make part of my plethora of 70's and 80's horror films.

I am one of those horror fans who is fascinated by the UK's DPP list of "video nasties". Secretly, I am in search of every single one of those films, just to say that I have them. Most of them I do own, but there are some on the list that are just so hard to find that I've given up on searching from them. I've researched them all and though some of them seem like just a big waste of time, yet others have gotten my curiosity a-boiling. Just the other day, I was walking through the anals of the local Rasputin's - which still has one of the largest horror selections I've ever come across - and whilst looking through the DVD horror section, something out of the corner of the eye caught my attention. I pulled it out and saw that it was the U.S. version of "Island of Death", one of the most notorious of the "video nasties". I couldn't believe that I'd come accross it. I'd searched for it before on the likes of Ebay and Amazon and just found that it was too expensive to add to my collection. The price here? $3.95. Yes. $3.95. So I took it home, practically jumping up and down, as one of the most elusive entries to my stacks and stacks of fright flicks was finally coming home with me.

My cousin and I got home and got comfortable and popped this into the DVD player. Though I was aware of some of the more notorious scenes in the film, I threw all expectations out the window and awaited one of the most thrilling movie-watching moments of my life. Was this film going to live up to the hype and 25+ year reputation that's kept it famously out of print for so long?

Within the first few minutes, I was speechless. The film tells the tale of a couple that's fled England due to some run-ins with the law to the Greek island of Mykonos to where they cause chaos to everyone they come into contact with. But what they do while on their little holiday is...well, surprising. I'm really torn between giving you the whole plot and giving away every spoiler in the book and just letting you, the reader, see it for yourself. As long as it took me to get a hold of this one, I'm not sure what to do here. If I don't give it all away, the review here will be really short (which would be ironic as the film pretty much runs about two hours). And those of you reading this (who are aware with what this film is all about) are probably expecting a tell-all, over-the-top review from me, but to be honest, I don't even know where to begin. That should tell you how much of an impact this film had on me. There are those films that you read about witch repuations that have followed them through time and you have certain expectations based on those reputations. Then you sit and actually watch said film and you don't know whether to go along with what everyone else thinks or to just stick with your own opinios about it, whether it be good or bad. This is one of those films that I don't know whether to call the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen or one of the greatest explotation flicks I've ever sat in front of. Because it's not a horror film - despite some brief scenes of gore - it's an all out expoit-fest. And I mean that in every sense of the word.

There are scenes that are going to shock you. There are scenes that will make you scream out "WTF?!". There are scenes that will make absolutely no sense to you. And there are scenes of beautiful photography that will make you ask if the director was making a film with such extremely contrasting scenes on purpose to throw the viewer off, or to ease some of the more extreme scenes. In any case, let me say that most of what transpires in the film is something that has never been done before and will probably be never done again. The goal of this film was to shock and that it does. Everything from bestiality, homosexuality, homophobia, rape, incest...it's all here...even a totally random scene of watersports! And it's presented in a rather blatent fashion. There's nudity everywhere (We even get to see male nudity, which is always good). The film reeks of sleaze. Especially when you get to see the mentality the main character has toward people on the island. It's confusing at first, but then you realize what is "really going on". The film's twist at the finale will make you sick to your stomach, and when the credits roll at the end, you'll sit there and either throw the remote at the television or revel on what the hell you've just put yourself through.

Image did a really good job on this one. From what I've read, the reason it was put onto an official DVD release was because the director was tired of seeing shitty bootleg copies go for unheard of amounts on the internet. He supervised an official transfer from the original negatives and to be honest, the film looks great. Colors are bright and vivid and the soundtrack doesn't show its age at all. This particular DVD has sold for silly amounts on line so I'd always shyed away from it. Believe me, $40 vs. $3.95? There isn't much in the realm of special features, we get a trailer and some of the (out of place) songs with accompanying slide shows, but that's about it.

Gosh, there is alot I want to say about this film. There are just so many things I want to let out (especially about the unexpected revelation at the end), but I feel that as a reviewer and avid horror fan, this is one you need to look for if you're a completist. Especially those of you who are followers of the UK's DPP list. It's one of those films that, no matter how hard I try, I could never convey to you how much this film is different than anything you've ever seen. To be very honest, I was expecting a bit more - since most of the scenes of extremism are actually implicit rather than explicit - but that was where the film hit me most. You get to revel in what the motive behind the couple's spree of depravity originates - since it's never really stated in the film - and think to yourself, how the hell did this get made in the first place? It's a great piece of expoitation film history so it deserves a watch.

I do apologize for not giving away the major plot points and over-the-top scenes. I just don't have the heart to reveal everything in a film that still hold it's repuation after so long. The final verdict: seek this out if you're curious. Your jaw will drop, I guarantee it. If you've seen this already, don't be shy and leave a comment. I'd love to hear your opinions on this one.

My Top Halloween 30!

2009-10-31T01:30:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone and Happy Halloween 2009!

Since Wednesday, I've been reading countless "Top Horror" and "Top Scary" films by readers, journalists and various websited just to see what everyone's opinions are. Every year about this time, lists like this bombard the internet and movie/entertainment magazines and to be really honest with you, I have yet to find one that impresses me. I'm not going to get into the reasons why (if you're reading this you probably can guess) so I decided to show my top 30 (randomized, of course). Let me know what you all think. What did I miss? And what did I overlook? At any rate, hope you guys have a great Halloween and be careful when you're out on the 31st! Watch those kids! =)

30. Shock (1977) - A woman and her husband and son move into a house that houses a horrible secret. Also known as "Beyond the Door II"

29. Inferno (1980) - Sequel to "Suspiria" and the second film in the "Three Mothers" trilogy. Great atmosphere.

28. Ghosthouse (1988) - A HAM-radio operator hears voices that lead him to an abandoned house where a dead girl and her clown doll haunt the place. Read my review on this blog.

27. The Bird With the Crysal Plumage (1970) - A writer is stalked after witnessing an attempted muder in an art gallery. Fantastic.

26. Prom Night (1980) - Someone in a mask is stalking a group of friends who witnessed the death of his kid sister years before. Great twist ending.

25. Intruder (1989) - Last of the great 80's slahers. Just think "Friday the 13th" in a local grocery store. Cameos by Sam and Ted Raimi and Bruce Campbell make this a lost classic. Great gore, get this one uncut if you can find it.

24. Curtains (1983) - A group of actresses meet up at a house to audition for a famous director's next film. But who is killing them off one by one? A genre classic!

23. Night Warning (Butcher Baker, Nightmare Maker) (1983) - A young boy is left in the care of his aunt when his parents die in a horrible car crash. But what's up with auntie? And why is she so obsessed with him? And a gay love triangle to boot! Strange film - read my review on this blog

22. The Beyond (1981) - Woman inherits a hotel in New Orleans that sits on one of the seven doors of hell. Not bad. Another classic.

21. Visiting Hours (1982) - Liberalist news reporter (the always awesome Lee Grant) is stalked and brutally beaten by a disturbed individual (the ULTRA-awesome Michael Ironside) and when he finds out all he did was maim her, he goes to the hospital she's in to finish the job! Creepy!

20. Burt Offerings (1976) - The best haunted house film in the world, with one of the BEST endings ever. Read my review on this blog!

19. Happy Birthday to Me (1981) - Someone is picking off the high class kids at the local school. But who it is? Great twist ending!

18. Pieces (1982) - A chainsaw-wielding killer is stalking girls at the local college to make a human puzzle. Sleazy and ridiculously entertaining! Read my review on this blog.

17. Don't Go In the House! (1980) - A disturbed man stalks women and burns them alive in his home. Genuinely creepy.

16. Haute Tension (2003) - The only film on this list from the 21st century. And for good reason.

15. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) - A young boy watches as Santa Claus kills his mother and father...and then gets a job years later at a toy store where several murders take place. Grisly sleazly! Read my review on this blog.

14. The Burning (1981) - Dismissed as a "Friday the 13th" ripoff, slasher fans know better. Read my review on this blog.

13. Tenebre (1982) - Fantastic giallo about a writer being stalked while everyone associated with his latest book murdered in grueseome ways. And a closing credit sequence you will NEVER forget!

12. I Spit On Your Grave (1978) - Woman goes out into the woods to write her next novel to be gang raped by a group of thugs (one mentally-challenged). She recovers and gets her revenge on each one. Reprehensible and extremely disturbing. Watch at your own risk.

11. The House on Sorority Row (1983) - Sorority girls play a prank on the house mother that goes horribly wrong. One of the genre's BEST. And by all means and at all costs - stay away from the re-make!

10. Killer Party (1986) - Overlooked film about a group of girlfrieds being inducted into a sorority on "Goat Night" in the house where one of theirs had been murdered. Cheesy...but awesome!

9. Maniac (1980) - Extremely bizarre and disturbing film about a man who lost his mother to prostitution and is now a killer of such. Graphic...it will stay in your head for days. Read my review on this blog!

8. Demons (1985) - Patrons going to see a horror film at a local theater become mindless demons. One of my all-time favorites. Read my review on this blog!

7. Friday the 13th/Friday the 13th - part 2 (1980/1981) - These 2 are self explanatory. Halloween is NOT Halloween unless I screen the sequel! Read both reviews here on this blog!

6. Black Christmas (1974) - A sorority house is plagued with bizarre phone calls as the pledges are murdered one by one. One of the best slashers...EVER!

5. Sleepaway Camp (1983) - Sleeper slasher with the most bizarre twist ending ever.

4. My Bloody Valentine (1981) - The town of Valentine Bluffs is being stalked by a masked killer. Is it Harry Warden come back for his revenge?! One of my all-time favorites.

3. Nightmare (1980) - Ultra-disturbing film about a man who goes on a killing spree in south Florida. NOT for the faint of heart.

2. Stage Fright (1987) - Superb Italian entry about an escaped mental patient who terrorizes a group of thespians rehearsing a play at the local theater. Fantastic!

1. Suspiria (1977) - Beautiful film about an American ballet student who enrolls at a German dance academy only to find that the school is a front for a coven of witches. My all time favorite. Superb in every way!

Have a great Halloween and BRING ON THE COMMENTS!

Hide and Go Shriek (1988)

2009-07-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

The end of the eighties brought the downward spiral of the slasher film.

There were alot of factors that contributed to this: Maybe many of the low budget studios that were churning these out were finally seeing that their fruits were no longer profitable? Maybe there was a growing lack of un-interest in these types of films and studios didn't see the need to give out out hordes of cash to have less-than-Hollywood movie makers churn these out by the dozen? I have always wanted to know what really caused the fall of the slasher film by the time the greatest decade in history came to a close. But, if you paid any attention, some films were made at the end of this golden era that surpassed many of its predecessors in both style and content.

I'm walking through the isles of the H-E-B grocery store on Old Highway 83 in Weslaco, Texas. It's a hot Saturday during the summer of 1989 and I'm heading to the front of the store to where the videos were all lined up nicely in a attempt to get away from my parents for a while. The Dream Academy's "Life In A Northern Town" is playing above me on the muzak and I'm walking like I'm a big 'ol badass just because I'm sporting a pair of hand-me-down British Knights. You know what's even funnier? I can hear you, the reader, laughing to yourself as you read that last sentence. Not because you're laughing at me, but because you probably did the exact same thing back then. At any rate, this particular store introduced me to slasher favorites Sleepaway Camp, Terror Vision and The Last House on the Left. But the box on the left (in VHS form, mind you) brings back the fondest memories of that store.

I remember picking it up and being fascinated by the film's clever title. That's one thing that - sadly - I'm a sucker for. A clever title, a warning that the footage contained in the video you're distributing is "too shocking for theatrical release" and you've pretty much have got me sold. About a year or two later, this film disappeared off the shelf of this store and then, the store disappeared altogether in favor of a much larger store with a larger video rental area that was propped on the other side of the city. Sadly, I don't remember seeing this title again until 1999, when a Brownsville, Texas mom and pop video rental that still charged for memberships had this on its horror roster. One night, my then significant other and I were browsing the shelves and I picked this one up, eager for him to take it home for me. He instantly shot me down, stating that my love for eighties horror was "childish and unbecoming of me" and that was that: The movie was going to be left there on the shelf just as I'd found it. Not that it really mattered, but I had this feeling that I was never going to see this particular title in print ever again. And I didn't see it again, until 2006 when I snagged a copy up on ebay and finally added it to my collection. I 'oohed' and 'ahhed' when I finally held it in my hands again and unless you are like myself, a die hard slasher buff with fond memories of the days of the mom and pop video store, you wouldn't even to begin to understand my happiness as I popped it into the my third of six Videocassette Recorders that I own and sat back to watch. After years of waiting, this was the night.

Before I begin with the film's actual review, let me say that when you boast on your cover that you are similar to Friday the 13th and Halloween, you're really not setting your viewers up for much. Well, it's not fair that you're tell your viewers exactly what to expect. If you are a non-horror fan, or at least not a fan enough to seek out slasher obscurities such as this, you would pretty much, without even thinking about it, instantly classify the film as another run-of-the-mill slasher. I mean everyone has seen Friday the 13th and Halloween so why would your little film be any different than those two blockbusters and definers of the genre in those days? But I digress. The film opens up with a group of teens who have just graduated from high school and who are going to celebrate their new-found freedom in the annals of a furniture store belonging to the parents of John Robbins, the obvious jock and leader of the group. As they sneak in and the store closes, all hell begins to break loose as the kids are picked off one by one by an unseen killer. Seriously, this is pretty much Friday the 13th in a furniture store. But, don't dismiss the film just yet.

The film oozes eighties charm from the very beginning. The clothes, the hairstyles, the way the kids interact with each other - the music. It's wonderful in its own right and not to sound cheesy, but it reminds me of when I was a kid and when times were just much more simpler. While on the surface the film seems to appear just like the rest of them - which in reality, it is with a few exceptions - you've got to take the whole "furniture store" bit into consideration. Since this film, there has never been another horror film set in a furniture store so just for that, the film gets an instant twenty points. The (obvious) lackluster gore that could have made the film that much better is compensated with some genuine moments of suspense and terror that you don't find in many movies of that time period. The mood is sometimes very claustrophobic (the scene in the bathroom!!) and very tense in some parts and that's what makes this one stand out. If you just shut up and give the film a chance, you will end up liking it and wonder why it didn't have much more of a following back then. All the actors are "eye candy" (especially extreme hottie Sean Kanan) and they're presented to us as a group of honest kids who were just trying to have some fun and do nobody harm.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, let us discuss the film's extremely bizarre and even more unexpected plot twist:

Shit, even I didn't see that train wreck coming.

I won't give it away but I will go on record that this is one of the most bizarre and out-of-left-field endings I've ever seen. Four Words: Gay Romance Gone Bad. That's all I will say. I sat there with my mouth agape, jaw almost hitting the floor at the weirdness of how the whole plot took the exit off the highway and didn't bother to come back. It was about as strange as the ending of Sleepaway Camp minus the nudity, of course. As strange as this "revelation" is at the film's close, it gave the film a trademark of its own, which is something that 80's films were all about at one point: Who could give the audience something they'd never seen before and let me tell you, even I as a horror aficionado would have never expected what transpired during the last ten minutes. And for that bizarreness alone it gets two thumbs up. It's ends up being one of those slasher films that flew under the the radar during its theatrical run and got its audience on video. If you see this one lying around on VHS (as there hasn't been an official U.S. DVD release - and there may never be one), grab it and check it out. It's worth looking at once. The VHS claims to be "unrated" but I didn't see anything over the top that I hadn't seen in other films. But overall, the film is great in its own ways and at some points manages to top some of its competitors and counterparts of that time period.

Stage Fright (Deliria) (1987)

2009-07-20T00:11:00.001-07:00

I don't care what anyone says, I love Italian giallo films and will defend them tooth and nail. I don't know why, but I will. Since the very first time I sat in front of a little film known as Suspiria, my taste for giallo only grown more and more and the years went by. There's just something about the way they are crafted, the way they are executed, and there's something about how bizarre and out of left field they can sometimes be. The Italian giallo holds no bars when it comes to gore and suspense and just on that factor alone, they can completely redeem themselves for the inane and generally strange story lines that they can sometimes present.

I heard of this film for the very first time through a friend who was also a horror collector. He was surprised that I'd never heard of it and told me that it was one of the best Italian horror films he would ever lay eyes on. Of course, I don't take confessions like that too seriously. I've been duped into watching what turns out to be celluloid shit just because someone recommended it to me. With my peaking curiosity of Italian films - at this particular time, I hadn't seen too many and wasn't educated as I am now - I decided to look this one up and see how it would match up with my tastes. When it comes to Italian horror cinema, I always give the film in question the benefit of the doubt and make my own decisions, trying hard to rely on the advice of anyone or the advice of anything I read on line.

I finally came across this film in DVD form about three years ago at a local mom and pop where I was living at the time and instantly wasted no time in picking it up and taking it home with me. I loved the cover artwork and when I read that Anchor Bay had released it, I knew instantly that this was going to be something I'd never forget. And boy was I right.

The movie's plot is quite simple: Young, nubile thespians are rehearsing a play about a owl-masked killer on the loose when one of the leading ladies hurts herself and has to be driven to the local hospital. But, the local hospital isn't your run-of-the-mill hospital, it's a mental hospital. A very prominent and famous killer is being held there and he escapes and hides in the girls' car. As they go back to the auditorium, he sneaks in, locks them all in and picks them off one by one. And what a ride! I don't usually gush about horror like this but this one is a total diamond amongst all the trash you and I have learned to watch and love. On it's own, it stands out. It's stylized, it's gritty, and it's downright gorgeous. I don't want to give much of the action away, not because I don't think it's worthy to be mentioned, but if you haven't seen this, please go out and look for it. There is a real style to the whole thing that Michele Soavi (the Dario Argento progote who would go on to direct Cemetery Man) impressively brings to the screen. Camera shots, panning, lighting, angles, it all works in this film. And don't get me started on the brilliance of the actors.

Usually in these types of films, the acting is either sub-par or just absent altogether. Sometimes it's so out there that it goes over your head. But the cast in this film bring about an honesty that can't be ignored. From David Brandon's performance as Peter, the director, to the most random performance by Italian horror-character-actor Giovanni Lombardo Radice - as a homosexual. Enough said. The atmosphere of the film is also pretty darn creepy and it works on a variety of levels. Everything is set up in a manner that it falls into place when it needs to, leaving no plot holes and leaving nothing unexplained. The film does contain some legitimate scares and some moments are enough to make you jump out of your seat. With it being sometimes cookie-cutter as far as the methods that the killer stalks the victims, there is a way that Soavi presents them that surpass most slasher moments. Once the killer finds his way into the building and locks the group inside, hiding the key, and once the director (and his promoter/producer) find out that one of their own has been murdered, everything is fair game. The lewdness of the two as they use the murder of a fellow crew member to capitalize on the play's potential success is a plot twist that ultimately backfires on them, but just the idea of it is pretty messed up. The director makes the work overtime, pushing them to their limits, telling them how much money they can make and how famous and popular they will be. But once they begin to disappear, the plans fall through.

I'm having a hard time trying not to give some of the best moments of the film away. This is one that should be sought out at all costs. The version I first viewed was the Anchor Bay uncut DVD which was later re-released by Blue Underground (which I own). Both versions are exactly the same, menus, disc and all. I also own the very-heavily edited U.S. VHS version released by Imperial Entertainment. I purchased the BU DVD for less than ten dollars so please do yourself the favor and go out and get this one. The film's haunting scene where the "final girl" has to re-count the victims who have been gorily placed on stage is one of the best ever. The film's final moment is a bit tacky and everyone has done it before, but I was able to look past it and this film instantly became one of my top favorites of all time. I can watch it again and again and never get tired of it - that's how great it is. You will have a great time being scared by this one. I guarantee it.

I apologize that I didn't go into detail much about this one. It's that good that I want everyone to go out and look for it and make up your own mind about it. Here is the trailer if you haven't seen it already - This is one of all time faves. and for good reason.

Kill Her! Kill Her!!!!!!!!

Body Count (Camping del Terrore) (1987)

2009-07-18T23:47:00.000-07:00

In my book, I have a theory that a horror film can sometimes be summed up on its obscurity factor alone. Though I don't have many films on my list that actually prove that, I like to believe that it's fathomable. For example, my previous post for the ultra-obscure Last House on Dead End Street. Had never heard of it until a few years ago, never laid eyes on it until just the other night and though it didn't completely meet my expectations, it came pretty damn close.

Body Count better known as the awesomely-alternately-titled Camping del Terrore

(Oh, come on, where have you heard of another horror film with a name that is cooler that that?), was one of those films that I'd heard about back in the day but never saw that it really existed. It was one of those that I'd heard about and read about but never really knew if it was a film that was actually in print, or one those that was mere hype. The reason I felt that way was because in all of my years as a horror aficionado, I had never seen, nor to this day have I seen, this film in print be it on VHS or DVD. So I did what every collector would do in this situation: Hit up Ebay. And of course, no luck. And if I did see it for sale, of course it went for silly money.

I posted a note on iMDB about this film and I got an email several weeks later from a fellow collector in the lovely state of New Jersey who told me that he would be happy to forward me a (legitimate) copy of the film to screen for this blog. Of course, I accepted and within about two week's time, I was sitting in front of my big screen television, popping this one in. I will forever hold the grudge against him that he didn't pass along a word of warning about this little ditty.

The plot is quite simple: A gang of college kids take a trip to the dark woods of Colorado during their Summer vacation to sort of "get away" from everything. While scouting the area, they run across a young hitchhiker named Ben who will lead them to his father's campsite out in the country. The place is located in the middle of nowhere and it appears at first glance to be the perfect place to spend the weekend. What these kids don't know is that the camp sort of has a "reputation" that involves an old local legend of a Shaman- half-man, half-beast. to believe, As they spent more time there they all realize one by one that the Shaman is indeed real and it's ready to kill them. Seems like a plot we can all relate to, right? Wow, I couldn't have been more wrong. If you know my taste in old-school horror, there is nothing I love more than to sit with some popcorn, a cold Pepsi and watch a stalk-and-slash film. As cookie-cutter as all stalk-and-slash films are (with the exception of a few hidden gems out there like Curtains and Maniac), I can easily overlook that minor flaw and give the film I'm screening the benefit of the doubt. But this one, sadly, was an exception to the rule.

First of all, the print I received was the darkest, murkiest thing I'd seen since Humongous, a film known for it's dark and almost completely unwatchable night footage. This was just as bad. Some of the death scenes occur at night and it was almost impossible to see what was going on. But that wasn't the most frustrating thing about this film. The pace is quite slow, the storyline wasn't able to keep my attention, but most of all: What a waste of David Hess! Every horror fan who has seen him in film like Last House on the Left or The House on the Edge of the Park knows and loves what this man can bring to a role. Forget Jason and Freddy, Krug was the man you loved to hate! There is brutal honesty when you put Hess in a role, especially as a villain. But to see him in one where he doesn't even play the bad guy? What the hell? I'm not used to seeing him as a passive father. But I digress. The only thing that was worse was knowing that this snoozer was directed by non-other than Cannibal Holocaust director Rugero Deotato who also helmed The House on the Edge of the Park. Let's not go there, shall we?

Long story short, the shaman does still exist (or does he?) and the kids get picked off one by one in bloody fashions blah-blah-blah. Usually in this genre of film there is always at least one thing that I can claim as a redeeming feature be it an actor who I can mark as the "eye candy" of the film (where in this case there was none), or a particular gore scene that caught my eye (where, also, in this case there was none). The only thing that came close was the film's final scene which left the view to decide if the shaman-beast in question really did exist. I can't go as far as to say that this is the worst slasher-in-the-words picture I've seen - that honor goes to The Prey - but it should have been a hell of a lot more than it was. For all the time I spent searching for this - no offense to Michael who was nice enough to send this film to me - there was absolutely no pay off. Unless you're a collector of Deodato's films or are a die-hard David Hess fan, there really is no point in seeking this one out solely on merit alone. As obscure and as hard to find as this film is, after seeing it, I've realized there's a reason...

The Last House on Dead End Street (1977)

2009-07-14T02:25:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone.

After a brief hiatus, I've decided to return to this little piece of horror hobbying after several months of silence. I've spent some time acquiring some more pieces to add to my collection and this first entry upon my return proves it.

In the horror realm of the seventies and eighties there are those few films who have such a reputation that now, so many years later, horror fans spend countless hours (and unbelievable amounts of money) to get their hands on them. I'd never heard of The Last House on Dead End Street until about a year or two ago when another collector let me in on this almost-forgotten film. I did some research and read about how some horror collectors remember this movie from their childhood and teen-age years, stowing away into the back room of mom and pop video stores and wishing to carry this piece home with them. I was surprised at the fondness of these reminiscences and how dear some people hold this film to their hearts - especially upon reading how rare this film is.

Upon my further research on this one, I found that this film touches one of the most taboo and, at the same time, fascinating horror subject matters: the snuff film. Before getting my hands on this one, I'd sat through the atrocity that is the Findlay mess known as Snuff. I won't get into that one, as I'll save it for it's complete review at a later time. But ever since I first heard of Snuff back in high school, I'd always have this morbid curiosity about the urban myth of the snuff film. Do they really exist? Are there people who make movies that come close and sell them passing them off as the real McCoy? How would you even begin to fathom creating something as horrific as a film where someones actual death would be portrayed on-screen? Is that legal? How would someone even get away with it? All these questions pushed me further and further until I sat in front of a little film called 8MM back in my mid-twenties. Again, not elaborating on that film itself, but that curiosity always stuck with me and sometimes, I'd stay up late at night just thinking about every facet of the subject. It wasn't the actual content that piqued my wanting to know more, it was the actual staging of it, the conception, the writing, the casting. How would it all be carried across? It would cause my heart to race in a way I'd never felt before as a horror fan. Sure, we all like to see how filmmakers are going to kill off the next victim and by which means the execution would take place. But something as mind-baffling as something real happening before your eyes...

I read about this one again some months ago and I began to search for it on-line. As amazing as this is going to sound, I was part of a bidding war on Ebay for a copy of this on VHS (one of the ultra-rare U.S. releases by Sun Video) in which - when I finally withdrew - the asking price for this, again, on VHS, had reached the hundred-dollar mark. And the bidding war was between myself and nine other people. What was so great about this film that had that many people wanting to get their hands on it?

Finally, about three weeks ago, I got an email from a friend, and fellow horror buff, who'd told me he'd gotten a hold of a special edition U.S. DVD release by Barrel Video. He oohed and aahed in delight about how he'd been in the bargain used bin over at the local specialty shop and had seen this just "lying there". He talked about it a little more and the more he spoke, the more intrigued I was. So, the other night, he was kind enough to bring it over and put it in. The following is a very concise review (as best as I can) based on what I've read/heard and what I actually saw:

First of all, according to iMDB, this film is completely pseudonymous - from the director to writer and the complete cast. Nobody who worked on this film used his or her real name in the credits. Just from that mere tidbit of trivia alone was enough to take my curiosity to its peak.

The film opens with a young man, Terry, fresh out of prison, coming back to an old college building in search of an old friend of his who happens to be a filmmaker. Those opening moments set the tone for the entire film. Eerie close-ups of concrete gargoyles, sinister low-fi music with the main character's thoughts echoing throughout, and best of all, terrible, terrible film stock that makes you know the film is going to be sleazy, And boy, does it reek. What transpires in the next hour or so is some of the most bizarre and memorable scenes I've ever witnessed on celluloid.

Terry wants to make snuff films and takes his pals - some of them former business associated - along for the ride to make some money and gain some notoriety. That's pretty much the jist of the film. But what his friends don't know is that they are going to be the cast of these films and that Terry has something set up for each one of them. There is an eeriness to the film that you can't ignore a sort of ominous feeling to the whole thing that tells you right off the bat that you're in for a unique ride. I don't want to give much away because if you're a true die-hard, I believe you should seek this out and see if you can get your hands on it somehow (If you're interested, email me). Terry and his gang of thugs (for lack of a better term) offs the friends one by one in the most brutal of ways, and you sit there and watch them die as the cameraman takes it all in. There are a few scenes that have to be seen to be believed, the kind of scenes that are so horrific that you want to turn away but can't because of how intense and how realistic it all looks. The death scenes are imaginative and you have to wonder what was going through the mind of Mr. Roger Watkins (who came forward just before his own demise in 2007 that he'd helmed the entire thing) at the time of this film's production.

Bottom line: yes, the movie is intense, especially during two memorable sequences. Yes, the movie is graphic. Yes, the movie is quite disturbing but not how I imagined it would be. First, the film takes about a half hour to forty-five minutes to get started, only because the film takes it time in introducing all the main players and the film sets them up pretty well, for being as low-budget as it is. And that's one of the aspects of the film that actually works in its favor. It reeks low budget, it screams trash and sleaze, but you know what? It actually does the film justice. Even the sorrid sex scenes scream vile filth in a classy manner, which is something that most films of that era can't get away with. There are plenty of inadequacies that this film carries, as does every film, but that's actually what helps it carry itself. It does not apologize for what it is. It does not try to be something it obviously isn't. There are no grey areas. You either end up loving it or panning it completely. It all depends on your point of view.

The only thing I particularly disliked about the film was its short running time of about 76 minutes, that's just over an hour. But, the wallop the last half hour has makes up for it completely, even going as far as to have the whole thing abruptly end and credits roll just after catching your breath after the final murder. I can honestly say that I've never seen anything like this before. This cements my theory of why the underground horror film never flourished during the late 70's and early 80's: People refused to accept this as cinema. People did not want to see this type of film and interpret it into an art form the way some of us horror buffs do. People want their Jasons and their Freddy Kreugers and their SAW films because most modern horror is all cookie-cutter, and people like those "safe" horror films, where they know they won't be subjected to anything more than a crazy masked killer stalking a bunch or horny teens. They are afraid of having their minds taken into a much deeper realm of terror, especially with the subject of the snuff film altogether.

I used to credit the Findlay piece of crap known as Snuff for igniting the urban legend of the snuff film. Boy, was I wrong. I now believe that Roger Watkins himself is the reason that these films, in theory, exist. I believe that because of his innovation and dark sense of humor that the snuff film was ever introduced into the mainstream. This picture didn't need hired picketers to stand outside New York grindhouses protesting the film's release to get attention. Without this film we wouldn't have had the semi-decent Spanish film Thesis. Without this film, we wouldn't have known what the big deal was when Charlie Sheen called the FBI after watching a Japanese film called Guinea Pig. Without LHODES, these bratty teenagers who think they know it all about horror cinema just because they've seen an Eli Roth film would have their Hostel or SAW. Without this films, true horror fans wouldn't have had the chance to descend into true horror madness. It's amazing to me how Snuff gained the fame and notoriety that it did for a few lousy minutes at the end of the film when Watkins was able to give us something even more graphic and his piece of work goes virtually unnoticed.

The true brilliance of this film is that it takes an Urban legend and uses it to its own advantage. It uses the mere idea of what could possibly exist in a true snuff film and capitalizes on it in a way that makes you wonder if somewhere in the most hidden parts of the world, something like this could really happen. Could I actually one day go into an underground video store and accidentally stumble on the "real thing" without knowing it? If you think about it long enough, it actually will make your stomach turn.

Go out and find this one. I know it will be hard to, but go out and hunt it down. It will change your viewpoint on the idea of the snuff film altogether and give you a new respect for underground horror cinema.

Here is the (particularly disturbing) trailer:

Witchery (Ghosthouse 2) (1988)

2009-02-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

Before I begin, I would like to extend the sincerest of thank yous to Ross Horsley, web-host and author of the blog, Anchorwoman In Peril, for the email I received today informing me that he'd been recognized with a Premio Dardo award and wanted to share it with the likes of Linus Loves 80's Horror and other sites he fancies. I was speechless, breathless and totally surprised that not only was someone reading the lovely little postings on this site, but enjoying them! This little hobby of mine has been around since God-knows-when and when I finally decided to sit and create this little contribution to the horror-loving multitudes like myself, I didn't think anyone was really going to bat an eye. I guess I was wrong! Thank you again, Ross. Now I have to keep up with this little ditty, since you all are reading! What kind of blog host would I be if I left you and not post for....wait, never mind.

When I sat and watched the original Ghosthouse, I didn't really fathom that there would be a sequel. I mean, how can a you top the elements of creepy house, some squatters meeting their untimely deaths, a weird HAM radio, and the scariest doll clown to ever grace the silver screen? Well, it turns out that you can't, but more on that later. After seeing the original film, I did some research on it and read other reviews only to discover that there was a second movie, known as Witchcraft, and Ghosthouse 2. Then to see that it starred both David Hasslehoff and Linda Blair? The Exorcist meets Knight Rider? I'm there! It did take me a while to get my hands on it and I ultimately found it after an extensive Internet and retail store hunt, completely by accident, at a Best Buy store in Fresno. I was excited to see that it was released by Shriek Show, who is following very closely on the coattails of Blue Underground and Anchor Bay as the "cool horror DVD distributor", I knew that I was in for something different.

The film opens with what appears to be an hotel on a desolate island and we are immediately introduced to an unknown woman, pregnant and running dream-like through a corridor lined with doors and being pursued by Puritans or Quakers or something. For a split second, I could swear that I was in the mood for oatmeal. Running from this group of people and not wanting to be captured, she jumps through a window on the top floor and plummets to her death. The sequence abruptly ends, which turns out to be all a dream, and we are immediately introduced to Leslie (Leslie Cumming). an occult writer who's latest project is translating a German-language book which supposedly documents that witches were one burned on the island where the hotel now stands and since then, a mysterious "witch's light" has hovered over the island that has never been explained. She is joined by her photographer boyfriend, Gary (played by the Hoff himself in all his then-handsome, bouffant-strutting glory) who is photographing the hotel and the island to accompany Leslie's writings. Hoping that the little excursion they're taking blossoms into a full-out romantic getaway, his plans are dampered by his frigid girlfriend, who has remained a virgin - well into her mid-to-late twenties - and wants nothing to do with Gary in the sexual sense. Sacre Bleu! I can't comprehend why anyone wouldn't give it up to the Hoff - I mean, even I would have in those days! - and to add insult to painful injury, she refuses to share a bed with him and makes the poor bloke sleep on the floor! That would have been the last straw for me, BUT, in all fairness, he seems to be very fond of Leslie (though she spouts out sentences in murmur as if she'd been on Xanax for the a few days straight), so he stays.

Then come the Brooks, a family from the Boston mainland, who have their eye on buying the old hotel and renovating it into an upscale bed and breakfast. The Brooks consist of Mrs. Brooks (Annie Ross of Basket Case 2), her husband Fred (Robert Champagne), pregnant step-daughter Jane (Linda Blair, who is really pregnant in this film), and her young son Tommy (Michael Manchester). They take a fishing boat out to the island along with a beautiful - but always randy - architect (Catherine Hickland) and the realtor (Rick Farnsworth, whose nerdy charm matched with his rugged good looks almost topped the "boing factor" already set by Hasslehoff) in hopes of selling off the property and getting if off their hands. The best line in the whole film comes just as they step off the boat when the fisherman tells Mr. Brooks, "They've got a bunch of legends about this island: Witches and rainbows and shit!" I must have fallen out of my chair to hear that line. I'm laughing right now as the line repeats inside my head over and over again. But before they left for the island, a strange woman in black approaches young Tommy - and shocks him when she calls him by name - but doesn't tell the family this until he sees her hovering through the top windows of the house. He also fails to mention that a little girl in wheelchair warns him that a witch lives on the island. Is she right? Or is she merely informing him of the local urban legend that the island has held over the small seaside town for centuries?

Almost as soon as they arrive, strange things begin to happen. Judy gets sucked into a bathtub, Mrs. Brooks gets swallowed by a wall safe and is taken to a chair in the netherworld as has her mouth sewn shut (in a really gruesome manner) and then she's placed in the chimney only to be burned alive, the sex-hungry architect and the realtor get impaled through the throat via a trophy fish wall hanging and being burned alive on the beach on an upside down cross, respectively. As original as those murders were, the most eye-popping of the set is when Leslie dreams of being raped by satan himself (?) during a frightening ritual. It's got to be seen to be appreciated and it was the scene that stayed in my mind the longest. She awakens to find herself bleeding and she begins to wonder if the legend of the witch and it's light are really true after all. By this time, it is revealed that Leslie and Gary don't have permission to be in the house, so as they watch the family leave, they think the coast is clear. The entire group is forced to wait it out on the island as a storm breaks over the hotel. Gary's little inflatable boat can't hack the choppy waters so there is no choice but to weather it out. Excruciatingly long story short, the witch cases more mayhem, the power supply is cut off and we get to see a film project play on its own. A helicopter from the mainland attempts to come find the missing group and finding no signs of life, it leaves what's left of the group trapped inside. In the film's closing act, we lose young Tommy, and we get to see Mr. Brooks' demise, by invisible throat stabbing via a voodoo doll (which was the instrument also used on the others) with a nice squirting sequence, dousing the Hoff in what seems to be blood more in the realm of hamburger condiments and it immediately had me wanting to order a bag of French Fries from the local pizza house. In other words, Heinz Ketchup maybe have been a sponsor?

We lost the Hoff - which surprised me as I was sure that he was going to get off that island - by means of crushing by double doors and it all culminates to one point: Dear Jane (and everyone else for that matter) was "chosen" by the witch to extend her existence and in the final 10 minutes, the spirit of the witch inhabits her young body until she repeats the opening sequence of pregnant girl crashing out the top floor window and falling to her death on the beach. Cue a misplaced soft pop song and we are now in the hospital, Leslie being the only survivor. This is where the film, for me, finally hit a good spot. The doctor comes in to check on her and to let her know that everything, including Leslie's baby, is going to be ok. In one of the cheesiest, lamest and overall awesome moments in my twenty-some-odd years of watching 80's horror: Leslie's confused face - picture Tim Taylor of Home Improvement tilting his head to one side and exclaiming 'Urrrr?' - faces the camera and in sheer and utter surprise she utters, "What baby?" The camera then freezes on her confused face (which shouldn't surprise anyone as she sputtered her lines in the same manner) and the music gets louder and credits roll. It was then that I heard a laughter fill the room. Wait, it was my own! Oops!

The film in itself isn't that bad, but there so many plot holes and silly camera "tricks" that don't allow it to hold up as the film it should have been able to on its own. Shreik Show's transfer is quite good, though I read that the film isn't in the 1:85 ratio and scenes are cropped. I'd never seen the film so I really didn't notice. The sound mix was good, as well. The acting in the film (aside from Michael Manchester's inexplicably banal performance, even for a child actor) is particularly sub-par, even for Linda Blair and Hasslehoff, and the score doesn't give it the mood that it needed to make the "trips into madness" the characters all experienced to make it as frightening as they producers may have hoped for. Speaking of producers, this one was penned by the legendary Joe D'Amato, whose company. Filmirage, brought out a string of films during the 80's, including the original Ghosthouse and the forgettable piece of shit film, Anthropophagus. At any rate, I can't think of any reason to go out and actually buy the film but if you like cheese like this, you might want to give it a once-over. Maybe I'm being too harsh, maybe I'm being too nice. There's a perplexity about giving this film a good rating when it doesn't give you much to cheer about - though again, some of the gore scenes were pretty original, so you can't really give it a bad one altogether. Overall, it's a piece of ineffective haunted-house trash. But that last scene sure as hell makes up for it. You've been warned.

Demons (1985)

2009-01-20T01:00:00.000-08:00

During the horror boom of the 1980's, many film makers and producers tried to out-do each other by coming up with the most interesting and original concepts to present to the movie-going public. Because of this, there are many different sub-classes in the horror genre, ranging from the basic slasher, to the zombie epic, to the holiday-themed scare fest. All in all, the 80's produced some of the strangest, best, and worst films that to this day, cannot be matched.

This first time I heard of this film, it was 1985. I was running around in my parent's living room playing with my brother and the advert for this suddenly appears on the television screen. I instantly stop in my tracks and become glued to the set, unbeknown st to what was to follow. I can still remember it clearly, the scene with the helicopter, the scene with Rosemary in the bathroom, and the announcer's stern warning that no one under 17 will be admitted! I'd heard that warning before, but this time, it sounded real. There was a real tone in the announcer's voice that was pleading with me to heed the words coming through the television set. I stood there for a few seconds after the screen faded out to black. My heart was racing. Those mere 30 seconds had infiltrated my mind more than I would have ever imagined. It took a few days, but I got it out of my system and forgot about it.

That was, until 2002 when I rented this from a small mom and pop store in Knob Noster, Missouri one day and snuck it home to my sister's house. I put it on when everyone was finally down for the night and sat down with a couple of Pepsi's and a plate of barbecue chicken in front of me and proceeded, with caution, mind you. I remembered that TV commercial as the opening scene began and I'll be honest and say that I was a bit nervous. First I have to say that this ended up being one the most entertaining horror films I'd ever set eyes on. Sure, I was frightened and even shocked by some of the fantastic gore scenes, but I loved every second of it. The plot is one of the most simple and straight-forward in the Italian-Shock group: A mysterious man in a silver mask approaches a young girl named Cheryl (Natasha Hovey) and silently slips her a pass for the local movie theater, she convinces her best friend Kathy (Paola Cozzo) to ditch that day's classes and sneak off to the Metropol. Let me stop and say that the building that houses the Metropol is just phenomenal to look at and it was photographed in such a loving way that I'm surprised no one has written a book on just the theater itself. It stands hovering above the Berlin skyline and its blue neon letters are so beautifully painted across the face of the building that you have to pause the film and just marvel for a while at this piece of architecture. Inside, the white fluorescent-lights hum as the poster for Dario Argento's "Four Flies on Grey Velvet" hangs in the lobby (which was a hilarious tongue-in-cheek reference as he is the producer of this entry) while a silver demon mask dangles from a strategically placed (and very much random) motorcycle. In the group of patrons all there to see the film's premiere is a group of three street-savvy individuals: Ruth (Nicole Tessier), the rebel and free spirit Rosemary (Geretta Giancarlo), both led by the ultra-smooth talking Tony (Bobby Rhodes). Horse playing in the foyer, Rosemary picks up the mask and tries it on for shits and gigs and cuts her face in the process. Exasperated, Tony takes the girls and leads them into the theater.

A word on the inside of the theatre: If you've read my review of Nightmare, I mention how I imagined the grindhouses and theatres of Monterrey, Mexico would have maybe looked back in the 80's and the images of the inside of the Metropol gives life to those musings. The concrete floors, the wooden seats in rows of ten or twenty, the dirty and simple lavatories with cinder block as partitions, the dark corridors and stairways. It gives me chills just thinking about it.

As Cheryl and Kathy try to grab a quick snack from a non-functioning vending machine, they are approached by a pair of friends, George (the ultra-gorgeous Urbano Barberini) and Ken (Karl Zinny) who try to swoop in and woo the girls. The lights go down and the film begins, which, much to Kathy's vocal disapproval, ends up being a horror film about a group of kids who stumble upon the tomb of Nostrodamous. As this happens, Tony and his girls come walking in and sit toward the back of the theater, lighting cigarettes and causing trouble. As the movie continues and the boys try to put the move on the now-vulnerable girls, one of the guys on-screen finds a silver mask in the tomb much resembling both the one in the lobby and the one worn by the mysterious ticket-man (who, by the way is played by Argento protege and future Stage Fright director Michele Soavi). When the guy tries to scare the others, he, too, cuts his face on the mask, just as Rosemary had before. She immediately notices that her wound is still bleeding and excuses herself to the ladies room.

I don't want to give the entire plot away but all I will say is that as the guy on screen begins to turn into a demon, so does poor Rosemary. And when Ruth goes looking for her, the spreading of the evil begins. And so does the action! This film is so dated, it's almost laughable but, surprisingly, that's one of its charms. The decor, the set pieces, the soundtrack, the costumes, it all screams, no, it howls mid 1980's. The gore is amazing and it's no wonder this film is so held and cherished by horror fans all over the world. And when you really focus on the center core of the plot, that it's a horror film within a horror film and you imagine yourself in that scenario, it's quite terrifying. Take just one quick moment and close your eyes. Imagine yourself at your local movie theater and you're sitting with your boy/girlfriend and the most recent horror film is playing in front of you. Now, imagine that someone in the theater with you is actually possessed and you are trapped in the theater with no way out. How would you react? How would you really handle a situation like that? Imagine what you would hear, what you'd feel, and the thoughts that would be running through your mind. If you think about it long enough, it should run a chill up and down your spine. That's something that this film portrays, although in a very hyperbolic fashion, but it's something to think about. Imagine having to kill your own best friend because they were slowly becoming one of them? Imagine your past, everything you've been through, every moment you've ever shared and having to end their lives. It's pretty macabre, but hey, if there is one thing I've learned in this life is that anything can happen.

With that said, this film is a fun entry in the list of films from Italy and Europe. It seriously provided an entertaining look at a concept that has never been duplicated since. It is as original today as it was when it premiered and it still packs the horror punch the film makers wanted to present. Anchor Bay just re-released this on DVD and I've seen it for a really good price. I own the special edition double-bill set of Demons and Demons 2 released as an entry in the "Dario Argento Collection" series from AB and from what I hear, the set is now really hard to come by. It sill remains in my top 5 only because I can't resist a film that reeks of 80's like this one does. From the outright gorgeous camera shots of downtown Berlin to the fantastic make up, this is one you can't pass up. You'll thank me the first time Bobby Rhodes screams out, "What the hell happened to Rosemary?!" and you'll watch it again and again.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

2009-01-18T16:45:00.000-08:00

In every horror fan's life, there are those select films that give us, to this day, those butterflies deep within. Butterflies like when you first meet that special boy or girl and you're trying to get them to notice you. Then there's that tingly feeling you get all over when he walks into the room. I mean, she. Sorry. There are those films that you end up, without expecting, having an unmistakable love affair with throughout the years and no matter what anyone says about said film, you stand by it as if it were the dreamy captain of the varsity football team. Wait, head cheerleader! Dammit!

This, for me, is that film. I can still remember that winter night in 1984 when I woke up one night with the urge to use the restroom. We had just moved onto a small humble ranch in Texas and we siblings all had to sleep in the same room. I noticed how late it was and I found it strange that the television in the living room was on. I walked in on my father watching a film showing on KGBT and suddenly, the image of a miner's mask came onto the screen. I was terrified, I crouched behind the couch and looked over at the television again and I saw the image of a man in a miner's outfit chasing a girl with a pick axe. Scared out of my mind, I remember quietly sneaking back to my room, getting into bed, and not being able to sleep the rest of the night. The image of the eyes behind that mask was something I never forgot.

Several years later, I was wandering though Weslaco's Valley Mart and browsing - again - through the horror section of the video rentals, I stumbled upon the box for this beloved ditty and my heart stopped out of pure fear at the sight of the miner's mask emblazoned across the front. It was something that had secretly invaded my dreams at night. That mask. That light. Yet I couldn't stop myself from picking the box up and meeting it face to face for the first time. There was something about the picture on the front that was captivating me slowly. There was a charm to the way Paramount was presenting this picture to me and I knew that I would fall victim to it someday. Unfortunately, that wasn't the day. Over the years, I'd see this on and off again at mom and pops and local grocery outlets and I'd always have fights within myself as to rent it or not. For reasons that I, at the time, would understand, I just felt that it would be best to just wait. One day, in 1999, fed up, I walked into the local H-E-B Video Central, picked this up off the shelf, and took it home. I popped it into the VCR and told myself that I had to face my fear and this image that had been haunting me for the past decade. This wasn't like Jason or Freddy, this was different. I turned off the phone, turned off all the lights and locked my front door. I didn't want to be bothered. This was going to be a sort of mind-cleansing for me and I had to be completely alone for it to work. When the film ended and the credits rolled, something wasn't right. I'd expected to be curled up in the fetal position in the corner of the living room, thumb in my mouth, calling out for my mother. I expected this whole thing to backfire in my face and leave me even more traumatized than before. To my own surprise, and without wanting, I had fallen in love with this little Canadian film and just like that, I became it's number one fan. For the next nine months, I rented this film every weekend. There was something about it that pulled me into its gaping jaws. And there was no turning back.

The plot is actually very simple: When several supervisors leave their post to attend the annual Valentine's Day dance, miner Harry Warden and several mining colleagues become trapped underground after an explosion. Being the only survivor, he is placed in a mental institution and escapes, coming back on the one-year anniversary of the accident to the small town of Valentine Bluffs to off some of the locals. Flash forward to the present where the local kids are planning a Valentine's Day Dance on the 20th anniversary of the disaster. When the sheriff of the town receives a box of candy, or what he thinks is a box of candy with an ominous warning, fear of Harry Warden's return fill the air. The news is passed on to the kids and the dance is cancelled. But do the kids listen? Of course not! So here comes Harry to get his revenge! But, look a little bit deeper at this beloved piece of horror history. There's a a lot more going on than you see on the surface.

This is one of those films that has a complete love/hate relationship among horror fans. Some, including yours truly, savor this each time we watch it and hold it close to our hearts. Others pass this off as a holiday-themed Friday The 13th knock-off. And why wouldn't they? I mean, the film clearly states at the beginning that the story takes place on Thursday, February 12th. You do the math. Coincidence? I don't think Paramount did that completely by accident. Some argue that the MPAA's slicing and dicing of the film back before its release hurt the overall potential and punch the film really could have had. And though I agree with that statement at some point, we all have to remember that it wasn't the film maker's fault that 9 minutes of the film had to be cut to avoid the cutthroat "X" rating. But you have to look at the story the film is trying to tell, the sub-plot of the complicated love triangle going on between T.J. (Paul Kelman), Sara (Lori Hallier), and Axel (Neil Affleck). Take a step back and take away the gore, the special effects, and the main villain and you get an honest, all-American (well, Canadian) love story between a grown man, the woman he left behind, and the new beau, who happens to be one of his dearest friends, that has taken his place. There is a frank maturity portrayed in this film between the cast that you don't see at all in slashers from this time period. From the story itself, to the people playing each part, to the reasons why the killer is motivated to terrorize the town. These folks aren't your run-of-the-mill group of horny teenagers at a campsite taking a summer vacation. These are mature, working-class adults who hold pretty blue collar jobs and the women who stand behind them. I think that's one of the things that grabbed me about this film: the honest portrayal of adults in a horror setting. You don't see any of them committing any of the horror cliches that you normally see and it presents itself as a strong, mature piece of film making. Sure, some of the scenes run slow, but they all have their purpose within the story. I think it was wise of director George Mihalka, for example, to have Sara explain her back story regarding T.J. and what pushed her to be with Axel. All of it ties itself together at the end.

The gore in this film is rather tame, but again, blame this one on the MPAA. This is one of those few films that received a massive chopping from the ratings board - along with Friday the 13th part 2 that same year - and its full version intact has been on the "holy grail" lists of horror collectors since the film was released. I've even been on one particular horror site where a guy devotes a huge article to the uncut footage, the "does it exist or not" theory, and his push for Paramount to finally release it altogether. Impressive, seeing that it's 9 minutes of missing footage we all want to see. When Paramount released this DVD for the first time back in 2002, lack of the film's original poster art and the piece of shit sleeve they put together made me totally pass on buying it. And I'm being dead serious. Then, to see absolutely no special features? Give us a break, Paramount! It wasn't until the re-release in 2006 with a new cover bearing the likes of Harry Warden that I finally decided to pick this up, again, sans special features. How hard is it to put the trailer on there for this one? I mean, I can go to YouTube and download it in the snap of a finger. So really, what was the big deal?

Luckily, Lionsgate heard our plea and bought the rights to the original film along with rights to remake it. They've just released a special edition DVD of this with all 9 minutes of lost footage put back in thanks to original producer John Dunning. As of this posting, I haven't picked it up only because I've been sick in bed with the flu. Though, in my opinion, I would have rather seen the proposed sequel, My Bloody Valentine 2: Return of the Miner instead of a remake, which, at the time of this posting, I've already seen it an advance 3D screening. In all fairness, I gave the updated film a chance and though Jensen Ackles makes my butter melt, the film wasn't good enough to say that it trumps the original as the definitive version. Sorry, Lionsgate, I'm just being honest. I am forever grateful, though, that you brought us, after many years of patient waiting, the restored uncut print of the film. I would have really loved to have seen Lionsgate release the original in its restored form as a double-billing with the 3D remake. That would have been something to marvel. So, the hunt for the complete version is film is over. We can all sit back, relax and enjoy this often-overlooked but much-beloved 80's slasher flick and breathe easy.

If you're reading this, you've either seen this several times and/or have this in your collection. I own the original Paramount VHS and the 2006 DVD re-release. I think I've seen this on a Paramount double-bill DVD with April Fool's Day for about $9 and just for this film itself it's worth the price. If you've never seen this, get it and watch it with an open mind. I think you'll find there's more than just an angry miner offing kids on Valentine's Day. One of my all-time top five, and for good reason.

The Last House on the Left (1972)

2009-01-13T11:59:00.000-08:00

There was an H-E-B grocery store on old Highway 83 that we used to frequent in Weslaco,Texas back in the late 80's. As all these little places did at the time, they had a small video rental section at the front of the store and it seemed like all of them silently competed to see who had the latest in horror films. Some titles were at specific stores and not others and every store you walked into had it's own little variety of what to offer. I remember picking up the box - which had the alternate art than what you see on the left, the picture of the dead girl lying in the palm of a giant hand with a house lit up behind it - and didn't know what to think of it. I don't remember feeling frightened or uneasy and I found that strange, even back then. I guess it didn't appear to me to be all that interesting. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening.

Flash forward to the winter of 1997, the Spice Girls were still trying to hold on to the U.S. chart, Good Will Hunting had been a smash in theatres, and my kid brother had taken up the notion to date a girl significantly older than he was. Though I scowled at that idea, I got to know her and we became good friends. Around the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we all decided to go out and rent some movies and hang out and as we looked through the store shelves, my brother pointed this one out to me. I wasn't keen on the idea of taking that one home and reluctantly, I motioned him to go ahead and take it. I mean, I may as well give it a looksie, since at this time, I was still naive of many the horror classics. We got home popped it in the player. One hour and thirty minutes later, my life as a horror fan was changed forever. I was sickened, repulsed, and outright shocked.

I bought this DVD when it was released uncut by MGM in 2002 (or was it 2003?) when I was living in Missouri and showed it to a friend of mine. She, too, was completely appalled. It went back on the shelf and was never heard from again. Last night, this precious piece of horror cinema was playing on Fear Net and my cousin, her husband, and I decided to give it a play. Why not? It was a cold Monday night and we didn't have to be at work the next day. They had never seen it before so I didn't say a word about anything that was about to appear on the screen. When the last bit of the credits disappeared from the screen, I sat there with my eyes closed. I had completely forgotten how powerful this film really is and how in this modern day and age, it still packs a wallop that many of the Hollywood remake trash being churned out recently wish they had. I will expand on that later.

Horror buffs know the premise: Two young girls, Mari and Phyllis are on their way to see their current favorite band, Bloodlust, in concert. While on their way, Phyllis gives the idea of scoring a bit of weed to make the whole night all that much better. They approach a young mentally challenged young man who takes them upstairs into an unknown building that is harboring a group of recently-escaped vigilantes led by horror villain, and fan favorite, Krug (David Hess). The two girls are taken out into the woods and humiliated and tortured on camera in ways never before seen on film. When I first saw this film, I was shocked. I'd never seen anything so brutal before, so unredeeming of itself. The scenes are so realistic in many ways and you have to actually tell yourself that you're watching that was created by someone else. The scene where Phyllis is disemboweled remains one of the most horrific I've ever seen in a film from that period of time. Most people who watch the film now argue about it's potency but always compare it to the films that were produced years after this was first shown. Nothing had ever been shown on the big screen like this back in the early 1970's. It was so controversial and yet groundbreaking at the time and you have to really imagine what it would have been like to sit in a theater in those days and watch the atrocities that were given to you here in a very visceral, full-force way. You actually feel sympathy for the girls - although it was their hunt for grass that got them into the predicament in the first place - and you could actually feel every cut, every drop of blood, every scream, every cry for help.

The filmmakers give the film a sense of doom that you don't find in motion pictures these days. Take for instance the scene where Phyllis appears to have outwitted Krug and his gang and comes up to the road at the end of the woods. Within yourself you feel a sense of relief and you really think the poor girl is going to make it. But when it all comes around and the gang of ghouls mount their violence on her with all they have, there is a sickening sense of dread that you feel within the pit of your stomach. And not many films have ever gotten me to feel that way. The scene where Mari is shot in the lake gives you that same sense of dread, like something or someone could have come to rescue them from an awful demise. But, keeping that in mind, let's move on to Act II.

The gang make their way to a house up the road from where Mari's body was left behind. They meet a husband and wife who, after playing on their sympathies, allow them to stay in their house. Little do they know they are the parents of poor Mari, and soon enough, Mom and Dad put two and two together and figure out just who these people are. The second half of the film is perhaps darker than the first act in many ways, seeing that now Mari's parents have vowed to take revenge. Everything leads up to the parents offing each of their daughter's assailants one by one in really surprising - and horrific - ways. It all comes down to the moral being that you never know what you're capable of in this life unless you're really put to the test. So many people have their opinions about this film and I've spoken with horror fans each with their own perspective on this one. There is a sheer brilliance behind everything seen on the screen if you really think about it. Craven himself knew that he was pushing buttons that people back in that day and age and hitting subject people probably weren't going to swallow very easily. You have to commend the man, though, for showing us real life and risking his own name - and the names of future horror-icons like Sean S. Cunningham and Steve Miner - and staying true to the message in the film.

What did it for me, though, was the brilliance and panache that David Hess brought to the picture. This man didn't play the part of Krug, he was Krug! There has never been a horror villain so brutal, so macabre, so fucking evil as this character and there hasn't been one ever since. This man is amazing in this movie and it makes you wonder how he prepared for the role of horror's most beloved and enduring villain. I've seen him in The House on the Edge of the Park, where he echoes Krug in a thousand and one ways, but this one will remain his magnum opus, the pinnacle of shallow, senseless, over the top brutality and hostility. If you get the MGM DVD, watch his on-camera interview and listen to him how he talks about not being able to go out into the streets for people pointing at him and actually thinking he was the real-life Krug. There was a realism and a frankness to his character and when he evil reaches the point to where he has his own son kill himself on camera, you can't help but love the bastard and loathe him at the same time. Others have tried to mimic the nuances of this character, but nobody has ever come close.

Did I enjoy this film? Absolutely not. Was this a good film? Positively, without a doubt, this is one of the most powerful films ever released. It is one of those films that drains the life out of you and causes you to have a sigh of relief once the end credits roll. It's overwhelming in some areas and it isn't for the faint of heart. Many films in this genre try to pass themselves off as 'the real deal', where in this case, this film can. There is a realism and a truth to it that you can't shy from. It's almost like watching a snuff film. You watch the screen and just can't believe what's going on. This is a true piece of horror history. I honestly feel that if this film hadn't been made and released, horror films as we know them just wouldn't exist. Someone had to push that envelope. Someone had to get the message across that life can be terrifying and horrific and I'm glad that Wes Craven and his pals had the gumption and the audacity to release this. I remember being deeply disturbed by this film when I first saw it. It stayed in my head for weeks and weeks and it was really hard to get it out of my brain. Now, tell me the last horror piece you saw that had that kind of effect on you?

I didn't think so.

Every horror connoisseur should already have this in their collection. The only version I own is the MGM DVD, but I'd really like to find the VHS version with the woman's body in that great big hand. If you haven't seen this, please see it before you go and watch the upcoming remake. Yes, there is going to be a remake. With that said, take a gander at this. You won't be sorry.

"Blow your brains out!"

The Outing (1987)

2009-01-06T08:41:00.000-08:00

PIcture it: Sicily, 1946. No, wait, that's a line from The Golden Girls. Let's try again. Picture it: La Feria, a small rural town in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas. It's a hot summer day in 1990 and yours truly here has just come out of the bathroom of the local Maverick Market off on old Highway 83. My father is putting gas in the family van and I've strayed away from the bunch, as I always did when I had the opportunity in those days. As I made my way to the store's exit to rejoin the rest of the clan, I saw a little video rental section out of the corner of my eye and without even thinking, made a B-line for it. Quickly, I scanned the merchandise to see what they had to offer and saw a slew of titles that I'd never seen before. At the bottom of the shelf, I picked up this box and stared lovingly at the fantastic art before me. I'm a sucker for good box art. Just look at the photo for the blog's banner taken from Video Gem's big box art for the film House of Death. Just amazing. As my father came into the store to have me escorted by the ear, I kept that neat picure in my head and stored it for future reference alongside the great box art of The Mutilator and Squirm. Little did I know that I wouldn't see this again until 2003.

There was a little mom and pop video shop in the lovely little city of Warrensburg, Missouri called Video Castle that I frequented due to it's low rental prices and no membership fee. "Membership fee" - when was the last time you heard that term? My kid sister had introduced me to the place and I immediately fell in love with it due to it's vast collection of out of print and very hard to find 80's horror titles. Up to then and not since the 80's had I seen such a wide VHS horror collection as they boys showcased. I was a bit jealous, let me tell you, and within those great forgotten titles like Cheerleader Camp and Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, was this little piece. As many times as I'd been in there and as many times as I rented, I never picked this one up. Soon enough, as all mom and pops did, they fell victim to converting the whole store into the DVD format and all their older titles - and I mean all of them - went on sale for the low price...of 49 cents. When I heard the news, I got into my car and rushed over only to be disappointed in seeing that most of the good horror titles had been sold, including this one. Though I did manage to rescue several ones that were on my list, this one was still one of those elusive videocassettes I thought would forever be out of my reach.

I did some reading on this title on various other horror sites and I was disppointed to read that this was just another bad piece of 80's horror history. It didn't seem to have any redeeming values or qualities, that the story was bad and it was just outright pointless. I got to exchange emails with several horror collectors on-line and they all had the same opinion. I was crushed. There wasn't any way that a film with such great box art would end up being a 10-ton bomb, could there? Needless to say, last month I was finally to get this on DVD-R through a collector's website and I was excited that I finally had it. Seeing that it had taken me this long to just find the film itslef in any format, I told myself that I would put everyone's reviews and opinions aside and judge it on my own.

The basis of the story is that a mysterious lamp and a mystical bracelet are recovered from the scene of crime when a group of thugs vandalize an old woman's home, leaving her for dead. The items are turned over to the local museum and curator Dr. Wallace (played by daddy eye-candy James Huston) who is in charge of finding out their origins. While vising him one day, his daughter Alex (Andra St. Ivanyi) sees the lamp as suddenly has an immediate attraction to it. The lamp itslef is a prime example how one piece of critical prop can make or break a film. In this case, whomever was responsible for the creation of lamp really outdid themselves. Sleek design, crafty artsmanship and just the touch it needs to be memorable: the small hand on the end of the lamp that hold the red jewel. Absolutely beautiful. Alex begins to obsess over the lamp, even going as far as to steal the bracelet from the museum and ask her schoolteacher if there are such things as genies. Her curiosity grows until she one day grabs hold of the lamp and accidentally lets out the contents. When she is chastised by her father for messing with the darn thing, she spits out the usual teenaged tantrum and even goes as far as to say, "I wish you were dead." to poor dear ol' dad. She is soon possessed by the spirit of what's inside the lamp and, as corny as all this sounds, it actually holds up in the end. When her classmates attend a field trip to the museum, the "spirit" gets her to convice several of her best friends, including her beau, to sneak into the museum once everyone has gone for the night to have a sleepover. I mean, she's the daughter of one of the curator's, right? Why wouldn't she be able to have access to the place? But here is the little twist: Once all the kids are in the museum basement and once all the doors are locked for the night, the spirit leaves Alex and she becomes confused as to why she - and everyone else - are in the museum at all.

The group then remembers why they are there - to have fun, drink, and sex each other up, as they do in these kinds of films. But mysteriously, the kids are all picked off one by one, along with the remaining staff on board including the head curator and an opera-toting - and rather obnoxious - secutiry guard which are gloriously slaughtered by means of ceiling fan and large harpoon, respectively. The films suddenly turns into an all-too fun game of cat and mouse as Alex tries to comprehend just what's going on. The best scene in the whole film was the "death by snakes", watch it and see what I mean. It made my skin crawl, and not in the good way. That scene itself was one of the most inventive - and by the way, eerie - death scenes I'd ever seen in a teen slasher pic.

Now we will touch on the subject of the actual genie, or "Djinn" as it is referred to here. We all were brought up with the stories of Ali Baba and the Forty theievs and the younger generation was raised on the Disney classic, so we all know when you release a genie, he grants you one wish as a token of gratitude for setting him free. See where I'm going with this? Well, it turns out that the "Djinn" isn't after Alex, he's after her father in the goal of fufulling her wish! What wish, you ask? The one she muttered without thinking at the film's opening! Now is it coming together? So that's the reason the bracelet on her wrist glows! Not because the genie is in pursuit of her, but because the genie is sctuslly determined to grant her wish! So with this in mind, we finally get to see the demon, sorry, the genie face to face. Now, seeing how great the film was up to this exact point is something to marvel in itself, but once the bad boy is actually materialized, oh Lord, is it funny. I think they found the poor chap in the bargain bin at Muppet Remnants R Us, because it totally shows. Now in fear of their lives, Alex and her dad have to find the mystery of the lamp and figure out how to defeat it. With the aide of a strategically placed Commodore 64 (did I just say that?) they find out that the only way to destroy the genie is to destroy the lamp! Now who would have thought that one out, right? To make this dicombobulated long ending short, the "Djinn" just about destroys Alex's father but once the lamp is thrown into the even-more strategically placed incinerator, the darn things explodes in a fiery frenzy and poof! just like that, the stroy comes to a close and all can live happily ever after.

The film as a whole, honestly, isn't that great. But it's got so much going it for it in terms of camp and eighties references that you can't help but like it. In terms of the murder sequences, just the whole "Snake Bath" scene is enough to give you the heebies. I don't know why so many horror fans have a complete "I loved it" or "This movie sucks" viewpoint toward this hidden fun fest. For all the time I waited to finally set eyes on this one, it was a great payoff. Kids in 80's gear with their hi-top shoes, leg warmers and boom boxes, the cheesy synth music in the bakground, you just can't resist. This one is a real hard one to find, folks, but if you see it, please do me the honor of picking this up! Give it a try and you'll see what I mean. Just don't make any wishes you really don't want to have come true.

The Campus Corpse (The Hazing) (1977)

2009-01-06T00:16:00.001-08:00

I'm not one to shy from a new experience when it comes to films, especially those that were produced with the 70's and 80's. There was a certain manner in which they were filmed and sadly, movies aren't made in those ways anymore. The carefully placed storyline, the atmosphere combined with an original soundtrack and good direction always made for a unique viewing experience. Scare films in the 70's - thanks to the still-uninvented use of computer graphics - were all the more effective. Producers and Directors had to use their brains to make something that had never been shown before to attract the audience they wanted to reach. They hoped that word of mouth would be a reason for the film's success and, hopefully, be remembered by anyone and everyone who saw it.

The Hazing or The Curious Case of the Campus Corpse was one of those films that caught my attention solely because of the poster art and tag lines. I found this by accident on a horror collector website and by the poster art you see on the left, I assumed that it was a horror film, or a fright film if you must. But, that wasn't the case at all. But, before dismissing it a a film which "lied" about what it was, I need to make a point by outlining this little Iowa-made piece of celluloid beauty. Before I go on, I will have to say as of now that this is not a horror film in any shape or form. There is no blood, there is no gore. But give it a chance, dig a little deeper and this is what you will find:

The movie begins with a young droopy-eyed boy named Craig Lewis (played by Jeff East, which most die hard film fans will recognize as the face of the young Clark Kent in the original Superman film. As beautiful as he ever was, is, or will be, the blond-haired, wide-eyed high school track star has his sights on a scholarship at one of the finest colleges in the country. His parents died when he was young and he is left in the care of his older brother, Carl (David Hayward). When his brother drops him off at his new college home, he is immediately befriended by a group of young men who are wanting him to pledge their fraternity known simply as "the Delts". Craig and his friend Barney (Charles Martin Smith of Never Cry Wolf fame) both must survive the initiation into the group, which is nothing more than to be taken up into the mountains in the freezing cold and run through the woods in nothing but a jockstrap. No, I'm not kidding. Though it was great to see lots of skin for a good amount of screen-time (and I mean lots of skin), I wondered where the film was taking direction. It didn't feel like this was going to be a fright film of any kind. It felt more like an ABC After-School Special, which was already letting me down. Once head frat leader Rod (Brad David) releases the two boys into the cold, the boys run in the direction of a cabin nine miles into the woods. Sounds easy enough? Just as it seems as it were too good to be true, Barney falls down one of the steep slopes and breaks his leg, leaving the two out in the freezing cold in nothing but their athletic supporters. Yes, I'm being serious.

With no choice but to leave his friend and go for help, Craig eventually finds Rod and the rest of the gang, including his wise-ass sidekick Phil (Jim Boelsen) and tells them about the accident on the mountain. The boys go rushing to where poor Barney was still waiting, cold and helpless, only to find him dead. I do have to be honest and say that during this scene, not even a half-hour into the film, I already knew the ending. I even went as far as to make a monetary wager with my cousin as to how this whole thing was going to pan out. Moving on, the fraternity vows to keep everything a secret, dub the whole as a "skiing accident" and hide Barney's body in the frat house freezer. Much to Craig's opposition, he is instructed to keep everything hush-hush and to pretend as if Barney were still alive and well, attending classes, and taking tests. But with Craig being a country boy being brought up with good moral values, this whole thing begins to eat away at him little by little, slowly. When he goes to one of Barney's classes and "sits in" for him, one of the girls from the opposing fraternity sniffs him out and questions the reasons why he is posing as someone else, which gets the rest of the frat boys all riled up. In exchange for her silence, she gets the poor chum to take her out on the town, which is something he wouldn't normally do. When he takes her to the local bowling alley and she wants to be taken to the local make out point, the two end up feuding and she walks out him and into the arms of his frat-brother Phil promising she would figure out just what is going on.

Soon, the police start sniffing around the frat house and start questioning the disappearance of Barny. Oh did I mention that Craig's older brother has a history with the Delts? Something about a protest, a bag of piss, and the removal of the fraternity from the school altogether. Anyway, with Criag's guilt eating away at him, he actually one day does go to the police ready to spill everything he knows. Rod and Phil barge in and pretend they're drunk and rebuke poor Craig for almost squealing on them. The boys have a plan, though: They will take Barney's frozen body up to the ski lodge, plant him out in the wilderness and make it look like a skiing accident - wait, I said that already, didn't I? Craig wants no part in any of this but Rod pushes for him to go along with it, stating that he is doing everything he can to protect Craig, the fraternity, and the school. How considerate, huh? The day comes to carry out their plan and the guys take the poor frozen bastard up to the ski lodge, dress him, and leave him out in the wilderness. When Rod and Craig hear the account of Barney's body being found out in the wilderness over the local radio station, Rod turns to him, smiles and coyly says "They bought It!" It seems all is well, but is it? Remember, I already said I had this movie figured out.

Craig's girlfriend comes to visit him, contrary to Rod's earlier disapproval. She immediately notices something is wrong and just as he is about to tell her everything, Rod comes into the picture and immediately announces that Barney's body had been found and that he was dead. Easy-squeezie, in the words of one Ms. Karen Walker. She leaves on the next bus and the next day, the homicide detective comes to snoop around the frat house and questions Craig about what he knows. To make matters worse, Barney's father comes around and wants to know why Barney would ever go on a skiing trip if the chap had only done it once in his life and hated it? This only mounts the pressure on Craig and it seems like it's only a matter of time before he pops.

Then, comes Barney's funeral - something Craig doesn't want to face. He knows too much and him being unable to talk about it has weighed on his mind. He wants everything to be over, to be done with. Sitting at the funeral surrounded by his fraternity brothers, he begins to hear voices in his head as the officiating minister reads the 23rd Psalm aloud. He can hear the voice of the homicide chief, the voice of his girlfriend, the voice of Barney's devastated father echoing back and forth in his mind. His face can no longer hide his shame. He is no longer wanting to hide the secret, but he must. As the boys go up one by one to pay their last respects, Craig approaches his friend only to see something terrifying: He begins to see Barney's eyes open! Is he seeing things? Has all the pressure finally driven him to the point of hallucinations? Barney opens his eyes and slowly begins to sit up! I'm not kidding! I started laughing to myself as I waited for those words that I was certain with my life he would say:

"Welcome to the Fraternity!"

The whole thing was a fucking practical joke! The whole incident was the actual Initiation itself! All I could say was Ha! Ha! I was right! and at the same time my brain was thinking WTF? This is how I said the film would turn out. I guess having watched April Fool's Day more than a dozen times taught me a thing or two. So there is poor Craig surrounded by everyone who was in on the joke the entire time. His frat brothers, the detective, Barney's father. So what's a poor guy who has been eating himself up alive for the last few days supposed to do? Transfer schools, that's what! Now, here is where I was a bit confused: As Craig says his goodbyes to everyone, he gets Rod to sign a document saying that if he didn't get it signed, he wouldn't be able to get his fee returned to him. Rod signs another paper, the guys say good bye, and Craig walks outside to meet his brother who is waiting for him. He pops his bags into his brother's truck and he takes off with his girlfriend into the setting sun. Meanwhile, his brother Carl takes the signed documents and mounts a rather large bulldozer. He turns the son-of-a-bitch on and rams it into the side of the frat house, scaring the horse shit out of Rod and Phil. The boys flee the house and everyone comes rushing over to see what the commotion was all about. Laughing hysterically, Carl rams into the house again and screams out for joy. My question is: What were those documents that Rod signed and why did said documents - I'm assuming - allow Carl to demolish the building? The part was left open-ended for me. The movie ends here and I rushed over to imdb to see if anyone had posted on this and I found nothing. Damn.

This film is great, not as a horror film, obviously, but for a great story, told rather well, with some good acting and a great ending - though I predicted it really early. Sure the plot twist may seem a bit hokey, but it explains many of the plot holes and inconsistencies that are present throughout the movie. I wouldn't go out and purposely hunt this film down as I found the version I found (as a DVD-R) was the alternate title to this films original one called, The Hazing. Not sure if the title change was because of distributor choice to market to a different demographical group - hence the original poster made the film seem like just your run-of-the-mill college film of the time, not like the "horror teasing" art that you see above.

If you find it at your local mom and pop, pick it up. It's worth watching, just for the twenty minutes or so of semi-nude boy beef. Enjoy!

Ghosthouse (1988)

2009-01-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

I am so sorry that I haven't posted anything new. I've been out taking some much needed time off and now that I'm back, let's get this thing going full force again! During my brief hiatus, I've been able to add a few morsels of good-'ol cheesy horror to my collection and am excited to share them with you within the coming weeks.

There are films that somehow have slipped under the radar of the avid 80's collector and they sometimes do for many reasons. Either the film didn't well and fell into the realms of obscurity or it was promoted enough to get a proper following. In this case, Ghosthouse, is one of those films. At least, as far as I'm concerned. This was released in 1988, just as the horror boom of that era was slowly coming to a close and I'm still trying to find out as to why I've just heard of this film within the last year or two. The first time I heard of this film was while browsing on the Internet one rainy June back in 2007 and I was researching some other films and through another horror website, I discovered an entry for this film. Drawn solely by the film's title, I clicked onto the page and started to read. Instantly intrigued, I started looking up page after page of Internet information on this little ditty and was surprised to read many of the things I uncovered.

For starters, this film was helmed by none other than Umberto Lenzi. Yes, as in Cannibal Ferox Umerto Lenzi. That was ten points just right there. I read the storyline and the whole background of the film and I knew I had to get my hands on this. But, where? I'd never even heard of this film and had never seen it at any of the mom and pops back in the day nor recently in any of the shops I frequent so I didn't even know where to start. Before resorting to paying for it via mail order, I scrounged all the local shops and surprisingly, no one had ever heard of this film. I did some calling around and chatted with some fellow horror collectors and one day, while on a trek to the Humdinger Toy Show in San Jose, I found a horror collector who not only had heard of this movie, but actually had it in his collection. We talked for a good while about it and I was amazed at his fond recollection of the film. He gave me a little overview of the whole thing, though he was reluctant seeing as how I'd never seen it and I could see the sparkle in his eye as he talked about ever facet of the film, but concentrated on one piece of the puzzle: The killer clown.

Ever since I first sat through Poltergeist at the tender age of nine, I've been deathly afraid of the clown within the horror film element. I passed over Killer Klowns from Outer Space and It for just that sole reason but there was something about the way this guy was talking that had me itching to get home and onto the computer to find this. I'm the avid horror collector preferring my selections to be on VHS, especially if I can find them in their original boxes. It has a lot to do with the nostalgia factor and remembering the days when mom and pop video stores were in their prime. So, I logged on to ebay and started to look around for it. And, I looked for several months for this, losing auction after auction. Well, the ones that would come up, seeing that this is a rare piece to find in it's original Imperial U.S. VHS version. The last bid I lost was for the hefty price of $78 - which was something I wasn't going to fight after. I had already spent those kinds of price tags for films in the past and I really didn't have the wallet to do that again anymore. So, I gave up. But, when I returned to the same Humdinger Toy Show a year later and ran into the guy I'd met before, he asked if I'd been able to come across the film. Sulking, I had to tell him my plight to get this on VHS. For one thing, he laughed and told me to get the idea out of my mind that I was going to find it laying around at the local Hollywood Video. This is a real collector's item, Leonel, he said to me. You're going to have resort to something a little more gung ho. Long story short, have me the web address of a private horror collector, a deal was made and two weeks later, I had a DVD-R of the film in my hands. It was just that easy.

Sidebar: Just before Christmas, I wandered into the local Fresno Best Buy and came across Witchery, starring Linda Blair and David Hasslehoff which is better known as Ghosthouse 2. I decided to wait until viewing the first one before proceeding. More on that later.

Excited as a virgin on prom night, I sat my cousin down and we popped this thing into the DVD player. The first thing I immediately noticed was the beautiful transfer. I couldn't tell you if it was a direct-from-VHS or DVD but it was clear and crisp and magnificent. The sound was just as great. Now, onto the film itself:

The film deals with a ham radio enthusiast Paul, played by eye-candy Gregg Scott who one day hears a mysterious transmission come over his radio of some people screaming as if they were meeting their demises. He and his girlfriend follow the signal to a remote house in the woods where several squatters have taken up residence. The house hold a secret: A little girl whose father enclosed her in the basement below for an incident of killing the family cat with a knife (!) is left to die along with her father and mother who are killed by an unseen force by axe and knife, respectively. The murder is never solved and the house remains haunted to this day. But the kids don't know that yet. Shhh!

When two of them recognize the eerie voices from the radio transmission as their own, the group of them suddenly become terrorized by the apparition of the dead little girl and her um...friend. Her friend is a really spooky kid-sized clown doll that will give anyone who'd ever been afraid of the jester in the original Poltergeist film a run for their money. And I'm not joking either. So the group of teens plays a game of who-done-it while trying to figure out what's killing them off one by one. While this sounds like a great reason to spend the night inside, this film, ladies and gentlemen, I must warn you, makes absolutely no sense. There are plot holes everywhere and the film stands as more of a paradox of itself. In some spots it's so good that you're on the edge of your seat and in other's you're reaching for the remote to turn the bloody thing off. There are a few genuinely spooky parts but for every scene that makes you jump out of your seat and scream, there are two or three that will have you asking who the hell green-lit this cattle drive? But, that's the irony of whole thing: Somehow, it works. And it manages to keep you creeped out, spooked and laughing all at the same time. The "song" that's played when the killer is about to make his presence known will remain in your head for days. It's overtly diabolical in all it's own right and you'll want to turn the volume down every time it comes on just to keep the hairs on the back of your head from standing at attention.

The direction by Ferox maestro Lenzi - who uses a crock American pseudonym for this Boston-filmed-but-Italian-produced scare fest - is actually quite good and the gore scenes are not bad to watch a few times. The whole guillotine scene was completely unexpected and I thought it to be one of the highlights of the film. I will be honest and admit that there were a few times where I screamed out loud - and rather loudly - during the appearance of the clown doll. Especially during the scene where Paul's girlfriend stumbles upon the little girl's bedroom and is attacked by the birthday decorations and ultimately, Mr. Clown himself. But the scene where I couldn't help but close my eyes and mutter oh shit in a low murmur has to be the scene where the girl is inside the RV and the television turns on by itself and the program du jour is of the little girl and her clown. Scary! There is a lot more plot to the story, surrounding the groundskeeper of the house and his connection to local funeral parlor where Paul visits and has a crack at one of the dead people who is being prepped. The mortician is quick to make note that the woman being prepped had been stuck by a bus and that it wasn't polite to laugh at the dead.

The secret is then known as to how to free the house from the spirit of the dead little girl and in one whoosh of a match and a can of gas, the evil force is broken and those who remain are allowed to leave the house and lead happy, normal lives. The best scene of the film for me though was it's unexpected ending where Paul's girlfriend is waiting for him on the sidewalk of downtown Boston after they've come home and allowed themselves to move on from the horrible events at the house. It's like a Mentos commercial: She sees him across the street and throws him a pearly white smile. He returns the smila and waves back to her. Just as he begins to cross the street, she turns around to take a glimpse in the shop window and to her horror she sees the clown doll she thought they'd been freed of. She screams and turns around and just as Paul makes it to where she is, the evil song comes on again and a bus comes out of nowhere and slam! The closing shot is a freeze frame of poor Martha, hands over her mouth, screaming in horror as she's just witnessed the demise of her boyfriend. Just like that, the film ends, unhappy ending, with no resolution. I love films that take this turn instead of the long denouement and closing. Only a few number of films in my recollection have this type of ending: I Spit On Your Grave and Pieces come to mind first. It leaves you with that last closing shot in your mind, left to wander around for hours and hours once the closing credits end. Just brilliant.

This ended up being a great film. After all I'd read about it and the devout following that it still has, I'll be honest and say that I did expect a lot more, but what I got was fantastic on it's own. It's a great piece of film work that stands out above some of the more-known horror fodder and gives you many chills and scares that you don't expect. And let me tell you, the image of that bloody clown is going to stay in your head for days. I'm sure you'll be thinking of the picture at the top of this posting and thinking oh, you bastard. Get your hands on this if you can find it. If you really want to know where I got it from, send me a message and I'll be more than happy to refer you to the collector site where I got it from.

Enjoy, and happy new year!

p.s. This film is also known as La Casa 3 as the film had a major international success with the name change since La Casa and La Casa 2 were Italian titles for The Evil Dead and Evil Dead II, respectively.

Pieces (1982)

2008-11-07T20:39:00.000-08:00

It is a warm summer day in Reedley, California. It is 1983 and my parents and I are at the local drive-in theater. Don't hold your breath, though. We're at a drive-in, but it's Saturday afternoon so we're at the drive-in-turned-flea-market on the corner of Alta and Manning Avenues. The day is hot and my mother, sister and I are in line in the concession building, taking in the cool air of the swamp coolers overhead and listening to 80's music over the loudspeakers, something along the lines of Air Supply or Hall and Oates or something in that style. My father is out in the heat trying to find something to buy, or browse, I can't remember which. I'm holding a Pepsi in my hand - ah, some things never change, do they? - and I'm chewing the wax rim off the paper cup and looking around at the movie posters behind the glass casings. Suddenly, this bright red poster catches my eye and has me frozen. The picture of a dead woman strewn on the floor with a large chainsaw hovering over her glares back at me with a force so strong that I can't stop staring at it. I can read the tag line at the top of the poster and the notice that "No one under 17 admitted to this performance" is screaming at me. I remember my mother calling my name to tell me we were going back outside but I couldn't move, my eyes were fixed on that image of the woman. She came to grab me and when her hand touched my shoulder, I remember jumping out of sheer fright. It was something I never forgot.

Several years while living in South Texas, I bumped into this one again while at Valley Mart - a grocery store in the city of Weslaco where I first came into contact with many horror classics - and listening to Kon Kan's "I Beg Your Pardon" as it came over the store's loudspeakers. I recognized the art that I'd seen on the poster and walked over to pick it up. This little wave of fear came over me and I held my breath as I read the back of the box. The premise? A crazed killer is stalking the girls of a local college in an attempt to mutilate them and create his own human puzzle. Sure, it sounded grisly, but it had my attention. With the voice of my mother calling me (again), I put the box down and walked away. Little did I know I wouldn't see this title again until my late twenties living in Independence, Missouri. I was in the local Best Buy and I saw the Diamond DVD release and snagged it without thinking. I ran home, put it in my player only to discover that the disc was a total dud. Man, was I pissed. I was pissed enough to where I didn't take the disc back - I'd only paid about $5 for it - and I didn't look for the film again. About a year or so later, I was shopping with some friends at the local pawn shop and rummaging through the used VHS, as I always do when I visit a pawn shop, I found the Vestron version of this movie and grabbed it. For only 50 cents, you'd better believe that I was walking out of the store with it. But I noticed that there was no label on the tape. No sort of sticker or anything. I wasn't going to fall for it twice so I asked the guy behind the counter to allow me to play it on one of their many VCRs and thankfully, the tape in the box was actually the film itself. I took it and as soon as I got home - and everyone went to bed - I popped this into the player and finally got to watch this one in its entirety.

The opening scene was completely laughable and nothing like what I was expecting. I laughed as I watched the kid put together the pieces of the porno puzzle and listened as his mother called him every name in the book when she catches him with it. What was even funnier was how the kid came back and hacked his mother over the head with axe to get her back. Blood spewing everywhere as the ax literally bounced off her head. A scene like that should have been terrifying and disturbing but it was just the opposite. I knew at that moment that I was in for a treat - especially when the telephone in the house rings and the camera shows us a push button phone. Doesn't the entire opening scene take place in 1942? Wait, there goes the phone again. Low Budget, is that you calling?

What transpires throughout the film is that there is a killer loose on the campus of a local college looking for female bodies to dismember to create his own human puzzle of sorts. We have the late, great Christopher George heading the whole thing and his lovely then-wife Linda Day going undercover as a professor at the college to get to the bottom of the murders. With the aide of the college dean (Edward Purdom) and cute student Kendall (Ian Sera), the four intend to get to them bottom of things. This film is fantastic. It reeks of sleaze and that's it's enduring quality. As a horror film alone, it stinks and not in the good way, but there are characteristics about it that still have it as the classic that it is, still showing in midnight runs throughout the country (I almost got to see it in Dallas, Texas during the fall of 2005 at the Angelika but, just as the time I almost got to see Cannibal Ferox...) and people still sell the show out. There is a sort of humorous touch to the whole thing and some of the scenes are so outrageous that you have to sit back and just laugh to yourself and wonder how the hell this crap fest got greenlit. I guess I can answer my own question on that one: back in the horror heydays of the 70's and 80's, if a particular film became an international smash hit, film distributors would cash in on that particular subject in their own ways to make money. When The Exorcist was released, how many possession films followed? Beyond the Door, Abby....I could go on. This was a film that cashed in on the success of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and they were brave enough to admit it on the film's adverts! Only this one gave everyone what they didn't get in that film: Blood and gore!

The Georges are great in this film. They play serious roles but play them in a manner in which they don't have to take themselves seriously. Wait, did that make sense? The best scene in the film is when the killer activates the campus' public address system and the sounds of a marching band blare across the schoolyard. No one can understand why this is happening and everyone tries to find out how it happened and how to shut it off. But when dear Mary Riggs (played by Day) reaches her tolerance limit and begins to scream the word, "Bastard!" at the top of her lungs in hopes of the killer hearing her over the already louder music, without wanting to, you just begin to laugh until you have tears in your eyes. Don't get me wrong, you feel her pain and understand her plight. But If you're a fan of this film, the moment you hear someone say the word, "bastard", you smile to yourself and see Mrs. Day-Greorge clutching her fists and screaming out into the open air. They don't make cheese like this anymore, kiddies.

The gore in this film is fantastic. It holds nothing back and it is what it is. Some of the murders in this film are so gruesome that you have to sit back and smile. They are presented with a loving detail that while you're smiling, you have to admire how these guys pulled them off in the first place. The acting is particularly sub par, but with a film of this nature, can you expect anything more than that? Toward the end of the film, it takes a bizarre twist that you're not expecting, which made the film all the more worth while. With the added treat of Ian Sera's full frontal shot - in front of a poster for Friday the 13th! - the film ended up being more than I would have ever expected, and then some. When the identity of the killer is revealed in the final act and when you realize what the whole thing is really about, you have to put your hand over your mouth and refrain from both laughing and screaming. But, I have to say, though, that the film's final shot remains one of the most disturbing in horror history - especially if you're of the male persuasion. You've got to admire and love a schlock film such as this that can make you laugh and then leave you with an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

If you're a horror fan, get this one. I know that Grindhouse Releasing have just put out a newly mastered version of this film on DVD which I don't have yet. I think it's about time this gem got the proper DVD treatment as this one is really hard to find still in print. I own the Diamond DVD (though it doesn't work), the original Vestron VHS, and the VHS print on a DVD compilation called The Blood Feast Collection released by TGG Direct, grain, noise hiss and all. They'll never make them like this again. Enjoy them while you still can get a hold of them. This one is by far one of my favorites and it belongs in every horror fan's collection. Now that it's widely available, there's no reason why you shouldn't own it already.

I couldn't find a trailer, but here is the opening act of the film. Sleaze heaven if you ask me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqhRvIiQ_zw for the original Spanish version and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLer508DxEk&feature=related for the English version. Notice the difference in the music and dialogue. Wait, did I hear someone say, "Bastard"?

Basket Case (1982)

2008-11-07T17:01:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, some horror films are made in the attempt to outright shock the hell out of you. I love to see those old posters with warnings across them and unforgettable tag lines that stayed in your mind. I love to see the uniqueness of the poster art and the thinking behind some of those now-famous and collectible pieces. That's why I miss the horror trash of the eighties - it seemed that every B-horror film maker with the smallest of budgets was just out to see how low they could sink and how much they could gross you out. From horrific styles of murder and gore to stupid plot lines with deranged characters, 80's films hold their spots in history. Before they existed, there was nothing like them. And in today's modern world, there's nothing that could hold a torch to them. Whether it was to establish a reputation is to be argued by some, but Mr. Frank Henenlotter shocked the horror world when Basket Case was unleashed back in 1982. And I know if you're reading this, you're laughing to yourself because you've seen it and love it.

I first saw the VHS of this film at El Chaparral Supermarket in La Feria, Texas about mid 1986. I remember staring at the cover of Belial creeping out of the basket as it looked back at me and for weeks, I wouldn't pick the cover up. Every time I was in the store, I looked at the box but never held it. As stupid as that sounds, I must have been about 13 at the time, but one day I did and when I saw the horrific images on the back of the box, I remember throwing the box back onto the rental shelf, heart beating rapidly, and my imagination raced as to what kind of horror film this must be. I immediately vowed that I would never see it as something this horrifying would mess me up for life. And I held that promise to myself even seeing the box over and over again at various rental places and grocery stores as years went by. That is, until 2005, when the local mom and pop was easing out their VHS inventory to make room for DVD and this was on the seller's block for a measly $2.50. Hey, I was already in my thirties, right? How bad could this really be? I'd sat through atrocities like I Spit on Your Grave and The Last House on the Left, so this should be a piece of cake, right? Right...?

The plot is quite simple: Duane Bradley (Kevin Van Henteryck) makes a trip to New York and checks into the Hotel Broslin with a large basket in his hand. Being questioned by everyone wherever he goes, he keeps the contents of the basket secret and visits several doctors in the area. But there's a reason why he's visiting them. You see, Duane has a secret: In the basket, he carries around his twin brother Belial, who isn't really human per se, but a blob of skin and organs with no legs and two stout arms. They were separated by the evil Doctor Kutter (Diana Browne) and the boys have come to take their revenge on her and Doctor Needleman (Lloyd Pace) for separating them. The twins have a bond, a connection as all twins do, but since Belial cannot speak, he can communicate telepathically with his brother Duane and vice-versa. Belial spends most of his time quiet inside the basket, but when he finds out that Duane has found a love interest by means of the secretary at the doctor's office named Sharon (Terri Susan Smith), Belial wants out, and he'll do what it takes to break them apart.

Filled with humor and some of the sickest murders ever, this film is something you have to see to believe. The boys wreak havoc on those who cross their paths and Belial wastes no time in disposing of them, in rather ultra-violent ways. Some of the murders are so over the top, you wonder how people back them could stomach them. But what I love most are the scenes where Belial 'comes to life' in the form of stop-motion animation. That's right, stop-motion animation. It makes you laugh and creeps you out at the same time to see the little wad of skin and blood move around and it's something I can guarantee that you've never seen before and will never see again in a film of this nature. How this didn't get a slap on the wrist by the MPAA is pretty astounding. At least, I haven't read anywhere that this film was threatened with an X-rating. It should have, though. It pushes so many envelopes, and it pushes them off the table and onto the floor. Most of the film takes place within the Hotel Broslin, which provided the perfect sleazy setting for this kind of motion picture. It's dark, dingy, and you can smell it from a mile away. It reeks of the old days of 42nd Street - and there's even a scene where Duane is walking down the street in front those cheap and dirty theatres while being haggled by a fellow offering him every drug in the book. I always love to see scenes like those. One of the best scenes is is when Duane recalls the day him and Belial were separated. Totally cheap and totally fake, but you can't take your eyes off the screen. And the death of Doctor Kutter remains one of my all-time favorite murders and is one of the highlights you can't miss.

The pinnacle of the film is when Belial finally can take no more and escapes from his basket to roam around New York. Tired of being copped up and tired of living under his brother's thumb - and jealous of the woman Duane has found - he goes missing and the hunt is on to find the missing twin. Where he is finally found and what he is doing when they find him will actually have you saying out loud, "Oh, I think I threw up a little. (gagging noise)" It isn't pretty, kids, and it's something you don't expect. This turn of events causes the brothers to feud until they are hanging off the Hotel Broslin's sign hanging over the street below and end up on the pavement next to each other. Not to worry, Basket Case 2 was made several years later, so the story of the Bradley boys doesn't end here. If you're not already a fan of this film, you need to be. Thankfully, Something Weird released this on DVD a few years back and though it's not entirely cleaned up, it still looks damn good. The bonus material is great, especially some of the outtakes and alternate takes. They're worth looking at. Along with the two trailers, there's a radio spot or two. But you've got to take time and see the featurette, "In Search of the Hotel Broslin" in which Frank Henenlotter himself guides us through some of the many areas used during filming. Everything from the apartment building where the hotel stood to the building where the sign hung, to the S&M club that the bar scenes and basement scenes were shot in. And if you watch it, ignore the goof that's tagging around Henenlotter like a sick puppy, with nothing clever to say but emit a grunt here and there. Wait, he's a rapper? I rest my case. The SW DVD is marked unrated and I haven't seen the feature in its entirety to tell you how it compares to the Media VHS version that I also own.

Hands down, get this. I picked this up at Rasputin's new for less than $9. Even if you pay a little more than that, it's worth every penny. There is nothing like a bloody exploitation cheesy film to make a rainy day. And there's no film more bloody, exploitative and outright cheesy than this one. Shocking at times, hilarious at others, this belongs in your collection.

Here's one of the short (but sweet) trailers:

The Undertaker and His Pals (1966)

2008-10-27T17:22:00.000-07:00

Every so often, I will come across a film by accident that will completely take me by surprise. Sometimes I'll pick up a film just for the cover art, or I'll pick it up because I've heard about the film, and other times, as in this case, I'm purchasing a film which has another attached to it. Every Halloween, I'll make a round through all the local retail stores and see who has cheap horror films for sale to celebrate the season. Every so often, I'll find a good deal on a DVD that I already have on VHS cheap, or something will catch my eye. This year, I got to see a slew of compilations put out by TGG Direct - with some gruesome Rob Zombie-esque cover art - for the nice price of $5. Most of the films they were showcasing were ones I already had in my collection but I picked up one particular set because it had Pieces and I don't have that one on DVD format. At the end of the compilation's second disc was this film, nice and tucked away. I'd never heard of it so I thought I'd give it a try and all I can say is that I was really surprised.

The film opens up with a beautifully sequenced, or should I say, choreographed scene of three motorcycles in the night doing circles on a city street. Three motorcycles head off to a small apartment on the other side of town and end up killing a beautiful girl and hacking her to pieces. Her name? Sally Lamb. There's a reason I mention her name but I'll get to that shortly. Cut to a small funeral home where an undertaker with no name - played by Ray Dannie - is performing the funeral service for poor Sally. The murder is then investigated by a handsome private eye with a beautiful secretary who's trying to get him to marry her. Deciding to talk about it over lunch, they go to a small diner and what do you know? The chef's special is Lamb's Leg. Oh yes, I went there. The diner is owned by two low lives who are trying to strum business by getting the undertaker to supply the meat for the restaurant. Get the idea now? This movie must have caused a sir back in the late sixties. Gore, trash, sleaze, it's all there and yours for the taking. I don't want to give much of the plot away but this was probably one of the funniest slasher films I've ever seen. This was probably the predecessor to future classics such as Blood Feast and Motel Hell as the tongue-in-cheek humor mixed with blood and gore are enough to please. The film has a very dark tone but you don't really don't feel it, mainly because you actually get familiar with the characters and start liking them for the sheer comic value of their personalities. The movie is a laugh riot and before I knew it, I was really into the film and wondered to myself just how many people this film grossed out back in its drive-in heyday.

This took me by complete surprise and it's now in my top list of funny horror films, beating out Motel Hell by a long shot. If you can be patient - even with its very short 63 minute running time - and give this a chance, you'll end up loving it and wonder where it'd been hidden for so long. The best part of this whole film is the treat the producers give you at the end: when all the dead victims 'come back from the dead' to give one last bow and smile to the cameras. I apologize that this review is really short, but seriously, if you've seen the other two films I mentioned, you're already familiar with this type of plot. I've seen this on many of those 'multi-film' compilations and just last week I saw this one alone selling for about $2 in the bargain bin. If you see it, grab it, it's worth the price and worth investing your time in. You'll be laughing at the camp silliness - seriously, some of these scenes are a total laugh and a half - and paradoxical gross out factor - there are some genuine slasher scenes - that this has to offer. Look for this one. You will be smiling at the end during the closing credits and you'll want to see it again, just for the comedic value and you'll sit there wondering just how director T.L.P Spicewood got the nerve to not only write this film, but helm it as well.

Have fun with the trailer!

The Other (1972)

2008-10-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

In the horror genre, there are films that each have a goal in mind: Some scare you, some shock you. Some gross you out and some make you cringe in your seat. Then, there are those rare few that make you think long after the ending credits have rolled. This is one of them.

The Other is a 70's film that I read a little about back in the late 90's. The plot didn't seem to interest me much then for some reason and I skipped it. Now, this was before I was a more mature horror viewer, when all I wanted to see was how creative slashings and murders could be without ever taking tone, setting and atmosphere into consideration. Many years late, I've learned to appreciate little things in a horror film - or any film for that matter. The combinations of set pieces, locale, music, symbolism all combined to make a film what it is. I didn't get to actually see this film until just this year, which was fantastic because I was able to take this in as a whole and not pass it off as just another suspense film. I unexpectedly found this DVD in the used horror bin at Rasputin's and was immediately furious because the core of the plot - and its famous twist - can all be found on the back of the DVD's cover. Shame on you, 20th Century Fox! But I digress.

The story revolves around a small town in Connecticut and twin brothers, Niles and Holland (played by Chris and Marin Udvarnoky, respectively) who hang around each other and get into trouble. Niles, the good boy has to take the rap for the bad things his brother Holland does and nobody understands why bad things are happening. Niles seeks advice and comfort of his friend Ada (Uta Hagen) whom has taught him to play "the game", a euphemism for psychic telekinesis, in which Niles can become an object, for example, a bird, and become it for a brief moment and experience everything it feels and does. Luckily only they know about "the game".

The basis of the story revolves around a ring that was given to Holland when their beloved father passed away after an accident on their farm. Only the eldest child is allowed to have it, but Holland passes it on to his brother who keeps it in a small tobacco tin and guards it with his life, with another item wrapped in cloth. But, why does Niles have the ring when Holland is the eldest child? And why does Holland keep getting Niles into trouble?

The story is presented well and the acting is by far some of the best I've ever seen. Maybe that's thanks to legendary acting coach, Uta Hagen, who possible lent out her knowledge and skills because everyone just oozes superb acting, even the always wonderful and beautiful John Ritter shines in his minimal role as Rider. The film becomes more than just a suspense film, it becomes a study of a child who has refused to let go of the one thing that meant most to him in the world: his brother. There have been studies conducted across the ages of the mystical bond that unite twins and this film explores that bond and gets the viewer to understand how Niles and Holland are still connected, even though Holland is dead. Niles can still see him. Niles can still hear him. And Niles is the only one that can stop the reign of accidents that have been happening across the farm. But can he betray his brother? Can he use his gift of "the game" to finally put Holland to rest before the worst happens?

The strong point of the film is when the other item Niles has been keeping in his tobacco tin is finally revealed. He keeps a decomposed finger, which the ring he bears was attached to, safely put away in hiding. But where did this finger come from and who does it belong to? How did Niles get the ring from Holland if he died before he was able to pass it on to his brother? That answer will make your jaw drop if you're ever able to see this film. Then, Rider's wife finally has the baby she's been carrying. One night, the baby disappears while sleeping in Niles' room and the entire family, along with the town, goes on a manhunt to find the missing child. Niles has a feeling who's behind it and calls out his brother to return the child. The first time you hear Niles whisper, "Holland, where is the baby?" will give you the eeriest chill to ever run down your spine. You know who has the baby. And you know that nothing good can come out of this. It's even more heartbreaking when an innocent man is taken off to jail whom is suspected of killing the baby by drowning it in a pickle barrel. But who really killed the poor child?

The climax of the film will have you thinking for days. The who, the what, and the why will be constantly running through your mind and when you come to the conclusion of just what happened, you'll close your eyes and smile and wonder why films like this aren't made anymore. Sometimes, it isn't about how much blood can be shed on screen, but what kind of real scares you can give your viewers with the least amount of dialogue and just enough atmosphere to make your skin crawl. While the VHS of this film is long out of print, get the DVD while you can. This is a remarkable piece of film making that shouldn't be skipped or overlooked. And I'd never heard of Uta Hagen until her name was referenced in a Will & Grace episode, which is sad, because she truly made her mark with this film. If you can get your hands on this one, do so.

Here is the trailer so you can see what I'm talking about:

The Last Broadcast (1998)

2008-10-21T00:31:00.000-07:00

There are films that are released to the public that are obviously inspired by other films. There are some that are intentionally done that way and there are some that are based on films that sometimes are unseen or had a limited viewing audience. In 1999, the phenomenon known as The Blair Witch Project was unleashed onto a public that was already hungry for the truth about a legend that was started over the Internet months prior. As we all know, the film went on to become one of the top grossing independent films of all time and became a staple in American pop culture. Almost two years prior, a film was released that was it's own milestone in cinema history: The first film shot and broadcasted in theaters by means of one hundred digital medium. The buzz on the film was overwhelming and people flocked to see something that was so different from anything they'd ever seen. And I know this blog is devoted to films out of the 70's and 80's, but every once in a while, I've got to make known some of the more obscure films that are out there. And this is one of them.

The film tells the story of two public access cable figures and hosts of their own show Fact or Fiction, told in flashback, by a documentary filmmaker. With their once popular show plummeting in ratings, the show decides to rely on its viewers for ideas. With the assistance of the new budding technology known as IRC (Internet Relay Chat), a suggestion comes through to do a show on the myth of the Jersey devil, an urban legend about a monster living in the Pine Barrens of that area. The two hosts hire a sound man and a young local with a troubled past, obsessed with magic, and claiming to possess 'psychic abilities'. When the budding magician has a psychic 'revelation', and the suggested date of the when the shoot should take place mysteriously appears on his arm, the crew go out into the cold woods in hopes to make the episode that would put them on the map again. But when three of the four are brutally murdered, James, the 'psychic' and only survivor, is tried for their murders and sent to prison. But who really committed the murders? Or was it something unexplainable, something more sinister?

When I first heard about this film, I did some research and read some reviews by people who had seen it and I was impressed by what I read. So when I dove into this film headfirst - thanks to a wrongly-placed Region 2 DVD at Rasputins that my computer was able to play, luckily - I was expecting this film to terrify me out of my wits. The narration, done by the filmmaker himself, though it was well-paced, drew the story out more than it should have been. The pivotal point in the film is when parts of the destroyed "lost footage" is recovered and is given to a media specialist to piece together and announces that the final piece of the puzzle is about to be revealed, via press conference. Everything is summed up in the closing act, which, to me, didn't pack the punch that I thought it would. Sure, the twist ending was something I didn't expect, but it didn't leave its mark the way it should have. After all the reviews I'd read about what a frightening film this is and after the DVD sleeve boasted, "Incredibly creepy. Don't see it alone", I sorrily - and quickly - had to beg to differ. The film was more talk and story than action and we didn't get to see any of the murders committed on camera, rather quick traces of them, the way I'd imaged they'd be portrayed. There was no real terror in the film itself, which was something it really did lack seeing the nature of the murders and the legend they were researching. The character development was very limited, so there was no feeling of horror when the murders take place and I didn't even feel anything when it was all revealed who the real murderer was and that an innocent man was rotting away in prison.

My question though: When the real murderer shows his face and we discover who really sent the IRC message to the group giving the idea to do the documentary on the devil, one has to ask: So with everything now out in the open and unraveled at the film's close, shouldn't the real killer have been tried for the murders instead? Why wasn't he taken into custody and James set free? There are a lot of questions at the end of the film, which leaves things open for disucssion, which in a way, was good as it probed the mind but with that said, this film shouldn't be labeled as a actual standard horror film. It should have been labeled more as a psudo-documentary or a murder mystery. The film is worth a look, but only if you're into these 'reality' type of movies or like the idea of urban legends being explored. I was disappointed in this film mainly because I expected it to blow Blair Witch right out of the water. As a pseudo-documentary, it holds up well. The style in which the film was made was impressively innovative and it stands out in its own right and still marks as the only film broadcasted to theaters by means of satellite. As a horror film, it fails. Though the DVD has found its way into my collection, I don't think I'll have the urge to see it again. And I know that this review is short but there's not much to really say about the film, honestly. Watch The Blair Witch Project instead.

The Last Broadcast: that's what it should have been. Here's the trailer, but please note it's much better than the film itself. I guess it's the narrator's Gunther-like voice (yes, Gunther from Friends) that gets to me.

Scalps (1983)

2008-10-15T21:24:00.000-07:00

Every so often, you will come across a horror film that instantly catches your eye. Maybe because of the way its presented, maybe because of the actors or actresses in it, maybe because the title was something a bit out of the ordinary. And sometimes, one will catch your attention just because the subject matter is far from the "cookie cutter" formula of most horror films - which isn't always a bad thing, but sometimes isn't a good thing, either.

On the left you will see a piece of horror history for me. Just one look at this big box and I'm instantly inside the Valley Mart grocery store in Weslaco, Texas circa 1987. I'm about thirteen or fourteen years old and been given permission to browse the film titles in the video rental spot located in the northern corner of the store as mum and dad did the shopping. Ah, those days of staring at those bright colored big boxes as they each begged me to pick the up and hold them for just a little while. Each one in their own distinct voices calling out to me just yearning to be looked at, read and ultimately, taken home. Of course, I was too young for that and my parents would have never allowed it in the first place anyway. Valley Mart holds a special place in my heart as one of the first places where I was exposed to the many classics I now hold dear to me. It was something forbidden, something I longed to explore even further, and I made myself a promise that when I got older, I'd go back and rent each film at least once. But that was never to happen as the video section of the store was soon phased out at the start of the 90's. Long live its memory.

The first time I picked up Continental's big box boasting the double-bill of this film with The Slayer, I stared at it for a while and read the synopsis on the back. I loved the idea of two films on one VHS - which was something of a rarity then (if you notice, the photo to the left indicates a DVD release which I have yet to find). Every time I was in the store, I made a point of picking this one up just to stare at it longingly. To this day, I've never seen this Continental double-bill cassette again. When I started my collecting hobby back in late 2002, I had forgotten this film existed therefore never searched for it, until I laid eyes on the 20th anniversary edition DVD released by RetroMedia about a year ago. I immediately began doing my research on this one, reading up as much as I could and reading other's reviews and thoughts about the film. Some said it was great, some said it fell flat on its face. What intrigued me most was a blurb across the back of the DVD stating "the most censored film of all time" - I had to pick it up and judge for myself. I first looked up the theatrical trailer on youtube and watched it only to have my curiosity mount. Sure, it looked really low budget, but that didn't meant I couldn't give it a fair chance.

The first thing to grab my attention was the disclaimer notice at the beginning of the film. Actually, I take that back. The psychedelic title card reading "Feature Presentation" that looked an awful lot like the opening title card used by Grindhouse Releasing caught my eye first. Then the notice stating the film was coming from different prints was next. This wasn't the first 80's horror film whose DVD treatment from several masters promised the most "complete version". According to IMDb, this DVD was made with a heavily cut German print, a Canadian print and the U.S. VHS edition - and believe me, it shows. In many places in the film the quality, in both video and audio. goes in and out from clear to dark to grainy and back again. But that's not the worst thing about the film.

From the moment the film commences, it screams - no, it howls - low budget. And it howls with such a furor that all of the dogs that inhabit the block I live in are still following suit. A group of kids takes a trip out into the deserts of California to do an "archaeological dig" to uncover secrets of a lost Native American tribe. The characters are all obviously naive about this sort of thing even though they act like they know what they're doing. Among those characters are Randy and Ben (Richard Hench and Frank McDonald, respectively) - the token "eye candy" of the film leading the expedition followed by the always-present nerd Kershaw (Roger Maycock). They lead a group of three ladies (two of whose performances are so vapid I won't even credit them with their real names) out into the California wilderness to dig up artifacts on an Indian burial ground. Of the three ladies, the only one that stands out is poor, bumbling blonde D.J. (Jo-Ann Robinson), who spends 2/3 of the film trying to warn the group about the possible grave dangers of disturbing the dead. But not before being personally warned by local Indian man Billy Ironwing (George Randall) channeling Crazy Ralph in the Friday the 13th series, except not as overbearing and spooky. She seems to have a premonition about what might happen on the dig, but does she know something that she's keeping from the others? And why is she so insistent about everything?

The storyline itself leaves much to be desired. The exteriors switch from night to day then back again, all within the same scene. The use of the three different prints leaves gaps and jumps in the film's continuity making it all the more confusing. The lighting is poor, especially in some of the darker areas. The acting is just plain horrible - and I'm being gracious. I was really expecting a film with more of a punch, especially with the description that I'd read on the back of the DVD, but the entire thing quickly fizzles and stays that way. I was really hoping a film that explored the idea of tampering with an Indian burial ground and its ghosts haunting the living to carry itself with ease, but it does just the opposite. There are probably less than a handful of horror films with this sort of plot line and this one should have stood out. The gore scenes didn't deliver enough to the point of doing anything but compare themselves at times to scenes in Maniac. The film ends just as I'd predicted: that D.J. was aware of what was going on the entire time and that she would be the only one to survive, carrying the ghost of "Black Claw", the film's ominous villain, within her. The film in its final moment even gives us something I would have never expected: a title card promising a sequel? Oh, pretension, where art thou? I honestly thought the producers were kidding, but no, they were going to give us a dose of Scalps II: The Return of D.J.. Thankfully, the sequel was never made and all of us can now rest knowing that the final shot of D.J. surrounded by all the dead bodies - ala Mrs. Voorhees in Friday The 13th - Part 2 - was just that: the final shot.

If you're really into horror history and/or honestly curious about this film, find a rental copy. Even the small bit of money I paid to get this into my collection was a bit much for such a painful film to have to sit through. The film is cheesy, and not in the good way. It's banal and completely oblivious of itself and the potential it had to be a well-made shocker.

Here is the trailer. Listen as the announcer claims this to be "a film that you might not be strong enough to survive until the end" and "No one under 17 will be admitted without parent"...They were kidding, right?

Friday the 13th - Part 2 (1981)

2008-10-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

The true horror-film devotee can easily name you not one, not two, but several different films in the genre that have gone on to not only spawn a sequel or two, but ones that have gone off to become million-dollar franchises, each one as bankable as the next. From mainstream knowns as Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street to the more obscure and lesser-seen titles as Children of the Corn and Hellraiser, the genre as a whole is scattered with plenty of sequels to keep any fan's palette happy. But amidst all the endless titles on the shelves at the local Blockbuster, no franchise stands out more nor has had the impact upon the world that the Friday the 13th series has had. And this was the sequel to begin all sequels.

The movie takes place five years after the events that happened on the shores of Crystal Lake in the first film. All horror die-hards know the story of how Alice (Adrienne King), still trying to free herself from the memory of what happened there, is hiding away in her home away from the outside world. She is quickly killed off by an unknown killer and left to die. Side Bar: Did you know that this movie holds the honour of being one of the few films in cinema history with a pre-credit sequence totalling over fifteen minutes? Not bad for a horror sequel, huh? But, could this be the maniacal Jason whom she told police she'd seen rise up from the annals of the lake itself? We instantly move to Camp Packanack where a new set of young and nubile counselors are setting up to re-open the camp despite the warning from local doom-preacher crazy Ralph. Leading this new group is experienced head camp counselor Paul Holt and his faithful sidekick Ginny (fan favorite Amy Steel) - one dedicated to train the other counselors in the good 'ol ways of survival in the woods, the other to allow the kids to goof off once in a while and enjoy their surroundings, and each other. Seems like the perfect team. But little do we know there is a romantic history behind them.

The problems begin when Paul decides to gather the counselors in front of a roaring campfire and scare them with the legend of Jason Voorhees and his mother and the bloodbath that took place years prior. This not only scares everyone, but it sparks the curiosity of two of the counselors-to-be, Jeff and Sandra (who's brother will avenge her death in The Final Chapter) to take a peek at the now-condemned - and off limits - area once known as Camp Crystal Lake, better known to them as "Camp Blood". When they're brought back by an officer patrolling the area, it also sparks the curiosity of Ginny, who makes her opinions and thoughts known while some of the group enjoys one last night out of the town during a rainstorm. Could the legend of Jason and his mother be true? Did Jason really see his mother killed that night on the lake shore? Is a real maniac hiding in the woods ready to kill to avenge his mother's death? Is that a real KISS pinball machine in the pub's background? Inquiring minds want to know!

Meanwhile, back at the cabins, teen-aged hormones are running rampant. Couples having decided to stay behind are pairing up, enjoying the rain outside form the inside and enjoying each other just the same. Especially Jeff and Sandra, forced to stay behind as their penance for their foray into the wilderness without permission. But, unbeknownst to them, something is lurking outside watching their every move. Sounds like every other slasher film cliche, doesn't it? But Part 2 goes for panache and delivers it well, even though it totally borrows from the Italian giallo shocker Reazione a Catena better known to the U.S. horror-loving world as Twitch of the Death Nerve or Bay of Blood directed by maestro Mario Bava. Almost all the death scenes are alike: The machete across the neck, the machete in the face, and the world-famous double-impalement on a bed. I didn't really believe it until I took both films and played them side by side and there's a lot of truth to it, which surprised me. Was Steve Miner's intention to re-do Bay of Blood by means of a Friday sequel? Or was he secretly paying direct homage to the film itself hoping die-hard horror buffs would get the tongue-in-cheek references? There are horror experts out there who even claim that the original Friday the 13th borrowed from the same film: Simon, the killer in that film and Mrs. Voorhees shared the same blue-knitted sweater! Because of these explicit scenes, the MPAA chopped this one up like a chicken salad, taking the best out and leaving barely enough to savour. If you own the original Paramount VHS version, look on the back and you will see that a still from the cut scene of the double-impalement is proudly slapped on the back of the box! And it was even omitted from the DVD sleeve! Something like that deserves a "WTF"? But more on that later.

The film is the first to showcase Jason, and in my opinion, this is the scariest he's ever been. The sack over his head - again, maybe borrowed from The Town that Dreaded Sundown - to me, is creepier than the hockey mask any day. Especially in the scene where he sits up from the bed when Vicky is looking for Sandra and Jeff. Yowza, that still gives me the heebies. There isn't much to Jason in reality, since he doesn't appear really until the film's closing act. But what we see does deliver and it delivers good. From the moment Ginny delivers the classic line, "Paul there's someone in this fucking room!" the action really begins. And it's one hell of a fun ride. This one for me is the best of the many sequels that would follow the original film, though Jason Lives comes in at a close second. Steve Miner's direction is charismatic and flamboyant and he showed us how much fun being scared to could be. And not many films can do that for me. The film's final minutes in which Ginny dons Mrs. Voorhee's sweater and tries to outwit the son-of-a-bitch - Remember, it's mentioned at the beginning of the film that she has a degree in child psychology - are fantastic and are quite clever if you really think about it. How they got Betsy Palmer to return in the second film is something to think about. She did call the first installment a "piece of shit", remember? But her short performance here steals the show. And I'm glad that the original idea of closing shot was never done. I've read that the original closing shot was going to have the eyes of Mrs. Voorhees' decomposing head open and her smile at the camera. That would have ruined the film for me. What they kept was just perfect.

Now, back to the "WTF" moments and questions posed by this film, and I'm sure I'm not the only one to ask these, but here goes. 1) In the first act, when Ginny and Paul are in the cabin alone - in the seconds before Ralph is killed - she kisses him and says, "Paul, I think there's something I need to tell you." That is never explored in the film and the question is never answered. What was she going to say to him? Was she pregnant? Was she out of condoms? Was her monthly visitor in town for the weekend? I had never really noticed that question until just the other night when I sat down for my yearly Halloween dosage of this film. So, what was she going to say?! 2) What the hell happened to Paul? Friday history says he was killed off screen, but could this really be true? Maybe when Jason broke through the window, Paul made a run for it, got into his car and disappeared? Paul is the only character in the series who's whereabouts are never explained. Did he really die? And if he did, why did Jason spare Ginny instead of him? She was the one who tried to kill him. She was the one that tried to fool him by channeling his mother. So why him? and 3) What did the other counselors who had been out all night come back to find? We don't see anything but the ambulance and police car at the end of the film. Case in point: Ted, played by Stu Charno, is one of the main characters in the first half of the film, then he just disappears and we never hear anything about him again - why wasn't he brought back at the film's close?

At any rate, this one is in my top 10 of all time favorites. I watch this one more than the original film itself, maybe because I have more fun with this one as I'm still creeped out by the first film. This one delivers the scares but it does it on a different level. The first one was gloomier and it had more of a dreaded type of tone. Most horror-fans have this in their collections, I would assume. I own the original Paramount VHS, it's 90's re-release on the Paramount/Gateway label, and the Paramount DVD. I wished that Paramount would have included more in their special features in these films besides the theatrical trailer. Maybe a mini-documentary on how this sequel was contrived would have been a treat for fans. Though there is an uncut version of the original film that can be found on the likes of ebay, I've never heard of an uncut version of this film. I am aware of a television version in which alternate scenes are used that exists and currently, I'm trying to get my hands on a copy of it. Check this one out if you haven't seen it yet. Honestly, if you're reading this, you've seen it more than twice, I just know it. Sadly, the Paramount R-rated version is all we have to go on for now. Maybe they'll change their minds one day and give us a special edition with all the scenes cut by the MPAA in tact. But sure, that will happen. Just like one day Paramount will finally release an uncut version of My Bloody Valentine. But we can all dream, can't we?

Here is the short trailer. The actual full length trailer continues the "counting" where the first one ended. I think once was enough for that. If you are a true Friday devotee, you will notice the hundred-or-so things that are wrong with this trailer. Isn't in fun being a horror geek?

Girls Night Out (1984)

2008-10-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

Back in the early eighties, budding horror fans like myself were either hooked on or curious about a television show called USA Up All Night, a late night cable show that showcased now-beloved slasher and obscure B-films. While some of us fans got to sneak into the living room while mum and dad were sleeping to catch rare glimpses of said slasher and B-films, I was not allowed to say up that late anyway, much less be allowed to watch a program of that nature. And I can safely say that all of us as a collective would give anything to have shows like that back on television, even in syndication.

I've actually spoken to a few horror fans who hold this film in high esteem and one thing we all concurred on was the wonderful memories we have of the television trailer:

"You know what really turns me on?"

The lone naked girl under the sheets in her bed smoking a cigarette in her dorm room as the thunder crashes outside. She narrates most of the plot of the film for us: I can still hear her voice as she tosses her curly brown hair behind her. I can still see some of the scenes of the film. I can still feel my heart beating rapidly and as I'm writing this, I'm smiling. But what we all remember the most fondly is the last spoken line of the trailer:

"But what can you expect...on a girls night out?"

Oh, the memories that come rushing back from my childhood when I think of that sentence. I'm living in Reedley, California on Pecan Street and I'm in the third grade. We'd just gotten cable from Group W and all of us were discovering the joys of USA and WGN. This was the time in my life when the 80's horror boom was well underway and my friends and I would gather inside the jungle gym and try to out do each other with some of the stories we could tell of those horror films we had "seen" over the weekend. It was a great time in my life - the only film I'd actually seen pieces of was the original Friday the 13th and even then it was hard to beat some of the other tall tales my friends were coming up with. The first time I saw the trailer to this one, I was sitting alone after nine o' clock and USA was on the television and as it came on, I realized that I was the only one in the living room. I sat there, terrified and at the same time, ecstatic. I sat through those thirty seconds of wonderful pleasure and as the title card came onto the screen, I wondered if I'd ever see it again. I did, several days later and that was all that remained of it: a memory. Man, do i miss the eighties.

Over the years, I hoped to somehow see this for rent somewhere and I never did. I actually didn't see this again until 1999, when one of the local (and last) mom and pops in Brownsville, Texas was closing and I stopped in to see what I could find for sale. I remember seeing the black cover and picking it up and all those wonderful memories came rushing back to me as I held the VHS cassette in my hands. I asked the owner of the store if he would be willing to part with it but sadly, he declined. I really doubt that he knew what he had and didn't want to sell it to me just because. Little did I know that I wouldn't see it again until 2003.

The age of the Digital Versatile Disc brought to light some of the rarest and most obscure - and forgotten - horror films of the break-dancing era and this was one I was happy to see get the special treatment. I saw this for the first time on DVD at Best Buy in Independence, Missouri and saw it only that one time. Why I didn't buy it is beyond me - I mean, the price tag was pretty reasonable for an obscure title as this was. I have this annoying habit of seeing a movie that's on my "Must have" list and letting it slip only to wait months and months to see it again and finally pick it up. This one was no exception. It wasn't until just last year that I saw it again on DVD at Video Liquidators in Fresno, and I didn't hesitate to take it home. Was I excited? Read the first few paragraphs of this review a second time and ask me again. I rushed home with my cousin and sat down to put this in. The first thing I looked for was the presence of either the original theatrical trailer or the TV spot and to my own surprise, the trailer was on there! And the exact one I remembered! I sat there in front of my cousin, gushing like a Japanese school girl, and watched it over and over again until he asked me *cough* politely to start the film. I was in hog heaven - but I do need to confess that I'd never seen the film in its entirety. Ever. So we pressed 'play'...

The movie has a simple and promising premise: After the big basketball game, some students at a local college participate in a campus-wide scavenger hunt and little do they know that a killer is on the loose wearing the same bear costume worn by Benson, the school mascot. But is the killer really Benson, or is it someone trying to wreak havoc on the school and blame Benson for all the mayhem? As exciting as it sounds, it starts off strong and, sadly, fizzles out as the film progresses, which was a real disappointment seeing as how long I'd waited to actually see it. The film does drag in places and the gore was very tame for my tastes seeing there were only a few on screen slashings. The cast wasn't much to make a fuss about, though it was great to see Laurie Marie-Taylor of Friday the 13th - Part 2 in another horror film. I really would like to sit here and tell you the course of how the events in the film transpire but this one ends up being one of those that you see once and put back on the shelf. The "twist ending" was a little predictable and honestly, it made the film all the more confusing.

I watched this again just last night for the sake of this review and still found it as tepid as it was the night I first viewed it. Even Teddy (James Ratliff) and Benson (Matthew Dunn), the "eye candy" of the film, weren't enough to keep my interest afloat - or anything else for that matter. The DVD print is gorgeous with little or no grain during the dark scenes and the soundtrack was clear. I've never seen the VHS edition so I can't tell you if that particular print was used as master for this release. I would actually only recommend this film to those 80's film purists who have a "Must see/have" list or are curious about the more obscure entries in the slasher genre. Sadly to say that the final verdict on this one is that the trailer has more panache than the actual film itself. Now I'm not saying that the movie is a total bust - I did mention the presence of "eye candy" - I'm only saying not to expect this to be one of those diamonds in the rough. That would just be too far-fetched. Stick to gems like Happy Birthday To Me, Burnt Offerings, or Curtains.

Maniac (1980)

2008-10-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

There are a good plethora of films in the beloved horror genre that have their reputation(s) precede them, and for good reason. Some for their blatant exploitative violence, some are known for their mundane use of cheese, and some are known for the genuine horror that they provide the viewer. The first memory I have of this film is seeing the poster up at a mom and pop video store my parents used to rent from in Reedley, California at the start of the eighties. I can still see myself, only about seven or eight years old, looking at the poster of a man's lower body, knife in one hand, scalp of blonde hair in the other. I still have that tagline burned into my memory, I warned you not to go out tonight! And just that was enough to scare the hell out of me, enough to stay away from the possibility of seeing this film ever.

I began reading about this film's notoriety in the early 90's - about its inception, its creation, the backlash behind it and the furor it created upon its release. What most people don't understand is that back in the time this film was unleashed onto the unsuspecting public, it wasn't like modern times where even kids as young as eight and nine years old have witnessed everything in the book regarding violence. Nothing seems to faze this generation's youth, that's why I feel that all the modern horror films that are being churned out by the Hollywood machine are as inept as they are entertaining. Maniac, though, delivers on a totally different scale.

I really don't want to go into this one and review it scene by scene mainly because the whole film can be summarized as a study into a human being's descent into madness and the methods in which he chooses to deal with said madness. The story chronicles the life of Frank Zito, brilliantly played by the incomparable Joe Spinnell who actually wrote the screenplay and helped produce this film. To make up for the loss of his mother as a child, Frank goes on a killing spree in New York City, disposing of young prostitutes and bringing home their scalps to place on the heads of his collection of mannequins he keeps in his squalid apartment. The thing I love most about this film is that it can actually be viewed with two different viewpoints: superficially, it's an effective and genuinely disturbing piece of horror cinema that has moments that have never been rivaled. Anyone can walk away from this film and have it in their mind they've just sat through just that: another slasher film. Then there are those who can say that this piece of work is a look into a mind damaged by years of psychological and physical abuse and how the effects have still lasted so many years later. We see how Frank, the character, plays many parts: the tortured child, the socialite, the demented madman and the victim vying for some kind of help to ease the pain he's been feeling and to somehow surpass the carnal instincts to kill and kill again. From New York City streets and alleyways to subways late at night, Frank relies on his urges to kill to survive day by day and Spinnell does this with such a panache that I honestly think he deserved an award of some sort - Golden Globe, maybe? - for his performance.

One of the film's most terrifying scenes in when Frank and Anna (played by Caroline Munro) visit Frank's mother's grave. Possibly derivative from the final scene in Carrie, this scene could only serve as the perfect moment for Zito's personalities to culminate into once person, therefore allowing his harrowing secret to come through: that he is the New York Maniac that killed her friend. When Frank's mother's hands come up and grab him, I did, honestly, jump out of my seat and scream - but not for the conventional reasons. It was the realization tat every haunting memory ever kept within his mind, every fear that he kept secret and every bit of resentment toward his mother materialized itself for those few seconds, and it drove him mad. And those few seconds were his kiss of death.

I hate to read about the film's feminist backlash and how women's groups - along with other groups - fought to have this film banned here in the U.S. Before I actually sat down and watched this for myself, I'd painted a picture of how this film would be: misogynistic in nature, brutally violent with absolutely no redeeming values. But if you actually sit down and watch this, you'll discover that it's a look at a troubled man with a past so damaged that his own slow demise is eminent. And this film does a fantastic job of of portraying Zito's downward spiral, especially during the film's final ten minutes. You are torn between feeling jubilation for his death or apathy or how his life ended up. Was it his fault his mother was a prostitute who kept him in the closet while hosting trick after trick? Was it his fault he had to listen to so many men abuse her? Was it his fault that he was unable to keep her from the lifestyle that led her to be taken from him at such a young age?

Many people bash this film for its violence and to some extent, I could agree that it is one of the more violent film's I've ever seen. But do people criticize this film just because the violence altogether without even taking a good look at the film itself and seeing just what the story is really about? For example, I've read on many sites that film critic Gene Siskel was outraged with this film and walked out of the theater just after the murder of "Disco Boy" - which I'll get into below - and protested the film on his television program. But did Gene really take a good look at the real story taking place on screen? The psychological downfall of a human being for evens that happened in his life that he had no control over that ultimately mapped out the rest of his adult life? If this film would have starred Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway, I fell the overall reaction to this film would have been that much different. It didn't help that this film wasn't even submitted to the MPAA as to avoid the "X" rating it knew it was going to be slapped with. The most horrific point of this film for me was when the tagline, "I warned you not to go out tonight" was uttered by Frank. I think I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand when it hit me that the famous tagline was about Frank himself. This is why I make the constant point hat horror films of today don't even stand up to the ones we grew up with in the eighties. You tell me a recent horror film that has a tagline as memorable as that I can almost guarantee that you won't come up with one.

Yes, the film is reprehensible in some instances. The violence is shocking and over-the-top. The first scalping scene, the murder of the nurse in the subway station lavatory, and the murder of "Disco Boy" (played by the master Tom Savini himself) are three of the high points in the film. It was amazing to see how a make up genius such as Savini could craft and execute his own death scene with such brilliance that it would make it a piece of art. You actually have to watch it a few times to believe that he could get away with something so elaborate, and make it work the way it does. That murder sequence in particular will remain in your mind for days after you've seen the film. And sure, I could agree that violence toward women is a little much, but again, you have to keep reminding yourself why Frank is committing these murders and the motives behind them. He's not killing these women to get any kind of sexual gratification - though if you look long enough at the film's infamous poster art you might not agree - but more to ease his own psychotic mind in an attempt to free himself from the demons that plague him day after day.

The only version I currently own is the original Media VHS version which I believe is the cut R-Rated version. I know that Elite was the first to release this film uncut on DVD before Anchor Bay released it's definitive version. There is a new print on Blue Underground, which, if you don't know, is the new Anchor Bay. I believe the release is the exact same as the original AB version. Hopefully, I will own one of those DVD prints soon. I've never seen the film in it's uncut version and I'm dying to see what was going to become the sequel, Maniac 2: Mr. Robbie, which was a conceived - and partially filmed - follow up until Joe Spinnell's tragic death.

The film is a must see for fans of the genre and it is a monumental film, yet to be rivaled, imitated or duplicated. I usually don't praise a film that's this graphic but you have to watch it and understand the reasoning behind what takes place as a whole to completely appreciate its message. If you're squeamish and can't handle this type of film, avoid it. But if you're the least bit curious, let me say that you won't be disappointed one bit. This is a film that deserves its place in horror history and it deserves to be remembered for Spinnell's tour de force performance.

Here's the amazing trailer:

Burnt Offerings (1976)

2008-10-12T23:37:00.000-07:00

In the horror genre, especially during the horror explosion of the late 1970's-early 1980's, there were many definable sub-genres including, but not limited to, the supernatural and possession sub-class, the zombie sub-class, the cannibal sub-class, and the budding slasher sub-class. One that stands out to me that remained underappreciated was the haunted house sub-class. For some reason, I tend to enjoy these films more than I'm willing to admit and up until the beginning of this month, I thought I'd seen the majority of the cream of the crop: The Amityville Horror, The Haunting, Poltergeist, The Legend of Hell House, Ghost Story. But nothing had prepared me for the unstoppable gem that is Burnt Offerings.

I heard about this film back in the late eighties but had no idea that it was a haunted house film until the beginning of last year when I ran into a VHS copy at the local Video Liquidators. I knew that the film had a very devoted cult following but never took the idea of that following seriously so, I left the film behind and didn't take it home with me. And believe me, I'm kicking myself in the ass now, since I read a few weeks ago that the VHS version is long out of print and is one of the hardest to find in the haunted house sub-genre. But, a friend of mine had it on DVD (which I knew nothing about!) and allowed me to finally experience the film in the privacy of my own home.

The plot surrounds Ben (the absolutely gorgeous and gallant Oliver Reed) and Marian (Karen Black) who rent a majestic and picture-esque mansion out in the countryside for the summer. When they find out they are renting the home for the entire summer for only $900, Ben suspects that there's a catch to the whole thing, since the idea of renting a home for that length of time should have cost them more. The owners of the home (Ellen Heckart and Burgess Merideth) are excited to have them there and ask only one thing while they are away: that the new tennants take care of their mother, Mrs. Allardyce, who lives in the top floor of the home, quiet and shy from the rest of the outisde world. Marian thinks this a fantastic idea and promises to do her best to live up to their expectations. The family moves in, along with their son Davey and Ben's aunt Elizabeth (Bette Davis in one of her final roles) and begin to enjoy everything the home has to offer: the wonderful countryside, the wonderfully large swimming pool and the decor and style of the house itself. Everything in the house just seems to perfect, so beautiful, so peaceful. But, something soon starts to come over Marian. She slowly becomes obsessed with caring for the unseen Mrs. Allardyce, and it begins to take its toll on the rest of the family. But is it Marian's devotion to the patron of the house that is beginning to tear her and Ben apart? Or is the house istelf that is taking over the family? It all doesn't make sense until one day Ben is sitting on the lawn after a hard day of yardwork when he sees an old-style hearse begin to drive up to the house. It seems familiar to him and it looks just like the one that he rode in the day his mother died. And who is driving the hearse? An evil looking man whom still haunts Ben's thoughts still many years after his mother's passing. And it scares him terribly. Something isn't right. As he's determined to find out why.

The pool takes over him, almost making him kill his own son and driving them apart forever. He sees things he shouldn't be seeing. And he isn't the only one. Poor Bette Davis is accused of attempting to suffocate their son by means of a gas heater. She tries to convince Marian that she didn't do it, that she had just gone in to check on the boy. But Marian doesn't believe her and the family continues to be torn apart by strange and horrible random acts against one another that tear the family further and further apart. Something is after them, but what exactly is it? Or is just a figment of thier imaginations? And why is Marian spending so much time with the still-unseen Mrs. Allardyce? And what's with the collection of photographs she has mounted on the credenza in her room? Then one night, something invades aunt Elizabeth's room. Something unseen, something evil that mangles her body and torments her. Ben comes to her rescue and tries to help her until they both hear a knock at the bedroom door to find the eerie chauffer who had haunted Ben earlier standing with a coffin in the hallway. Terrified, Ben and aunt Elizabeth scream as the driver thrusts the coffin at them violently. She, sadly, passes away from the experience leaving the question as to the who did this to her and why. And Ben notices that Marian is taking the whole thing rather lightly. And there's something different about her that just isn't sitting well with him. And why is it that Marian is insistent on staying in the house when it's obvious that the house is beginning to have a hold on them?

The ending is fantastic, so I don't want to give it away. At first glance the film looks pretty modest as far as scares and it has just about zero gore. But the storyline completely wraps itself around you and you become involved with the characters, something that a haunted house movie rarely does for me. I felt for the family and sympathized with the way the house's grip on them cost them everything they'd ever worked for and everything they'd ever loved. In the film's final moments, I screamed out of sheer delight, sorry for what had taken place but amazed at the turn the film had suddenly taken. I don't think I've ever heard a man scream the way Ben does when everything is finally revealed and Mrs. Allardyce comes into the picture once and for all. The closing shot is something that will leave you speechles and it's something you're not expecting and it makes you understand why this film has the underground following that it's had since its release in the late seventies. What's even more amazing is that this story didn't rely on any special efffects at all to make the impression that it did. Well, okay, only in once scene. This is one film that should be praised for what it is: a haunted house movie that makes sense and that grips you until the final moment. Spectaular, legendary performers givng spectacular performances. Read the book by Robert Marasco, if you can find it. According to IMDb, the film's ending is completely different from the one in the book. Apparently director Dan Curtis wasn't happy with the one in the novel and changed it when the opportunity was given him to direct the film version. The MGM DVD has a great commentary with Curtis and actress Karen Black. And to my sheer glee, the DVD includes the original theatrical trailer. A brilliant film packaged just as brilliantly.

At any rate. this is a film that deserves a place in your collection and a place as one of the best haunted house films of an era now long-gone.

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (Night Warning) (1981)

2008-10-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

If I close my eyes right now, it's 1981. My brother has just turned a year old and I've entered the second grade. I am sitting in the living room of my father's old house in Reedley, California and we're watching KFSN-TV. Suddenly a commercial appears on the screen of a spiralling psychadelic swirl of some sorts and there is a shilouette of a boy and girl, holding hands and running in front of it. I can't make out what the announcer is saying but I do remember him uttering the words in his deep gruff voice, "Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker. Rated R." That was so many years ago and still, I can remember it like it was just this morning. It was one of those things that as a child, is burned into your memory forever. And that was just the 10 second television spot.

That's all I would hear about the film until 1999 when I would visit a mom and pop video store and see the box for a film called Night Warning that had an image of a boy and girl, holding hands, and running. I instantly remembered that television spot and I could hear the announcer's voice in my mind again. I picked up the box and was immediately confused by the synposis on the back cover. It sounded nothing like the commercial would have been. So I put the movie back on the shelf and walked out with both the box image and film synposis in my head. A few years later, the wonder that is the Internet Movie Data Base was introduced to me and I quickly began to spend countless hours on the site, looking up information about those obsure film I new little to nothing about. I remembered the title Night Warning and decided one late night to look it up and to my own surprise, I read that this was indeed Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker - the same film whose TV spot I'd remember so longingly from my days as a kid - and I had to look for it, but with no luck as I got to read that the film was one of the original films listed on the DPP Video Nasties list of the mid-80's in Britain and that it was very long out of print. I didn't give up though. I remember scouting countless mom and pop video stores and Goodwill stores in my area and even if I was out of town visiting, I'd hit the local charity shops just to see if I could come across anything even remotely close to what I'd seen back in the late 90's - even if it was just the film itself with no box. Again, no luck. I resorted to several "collector to collector" sites on the internet and still, nobody had this film in print. And then one day, again, I took a venture on Ebay while living in Missouri and found the film, the same box cover and all that I'd seen at one of the last independent mom and pops in Brownsville, Texas. I was ecstatic.

In all honest truth, I ended up paying almost $30 for the U.S. out-of-print Thorn/EMI VHS edition in it's lovely white makeshift clam shell casing. I didn't care, I just wanted this in my collection. I had researched the film enough to learn about its bizarre and completely original plot line and the trivial aspects behind the film but never got to actually sit down and watch the film in its entirety until just last week, almost three years after it oringally made its way into my ever-growing collection. And wow, was it worth the wait.

The plot surrounds Billy (a very *cough* cute and twinkie Jimmy McNichol - yes, brother of actress Kristy) and his loving aunt Cheryl (an astounding Susan Tyrell) who brings him up after his parents die in a tragic auto accident when he was only three years old. What surmounts from the prologue is something that I never would have expected. We flash forward fourteen years to the eve of Billy's seventeenth birthday and an episode where auntie Cheryl calls over the local repairman to have something in the house fixed. When her sexual advances don't work on the bloke - and there is good reason why - all hell breaks loose and she kills the poor bastard with a knife as a horrified Billy watches outside through the window. Claiming it as an attempted rape, the local police cheif (Bo Svenson) doesn't believe her story and thinks Billy did the deed and that auntie is just protecting him. But little does everyone know that Mr. Fix It was playing for the other team and was seeing the local high school basketball coach whom the police think convinced Billy to kill him. To make matters worse, the cheif thinks that Billy is well, playing on the same court. Can you say, "gay love triangle"? And that's just one of the bizarre plots to this film.

The second plot involves auntie Cheryl, the loving 'mother' that Billy never had who is trying everything within her power to get her dear nephew to stay with her instead of running off to college with his girlfriend (Designing Women's Julia Duffy in a very surprising role). She loves her dear boy and the more you watch her around him, the more you hear her talk to him, the more you realize that there's more to her love for Billy that the film is willing to admit, at first. There is a very bizarre scene in which Billy is about to take a shower and aunt Cheryl walks in to talk to him, as he's standing in front of her stark naked and they stand there in front of one another, as if nothing. That really made my stomach churn a bit, even because I got to see little 'ol Billy's naked backside for a good three minutes. It slowly goes from her being his protector to outright jealousy. When she leaves for the weekend and comes home early to find Billy in bed with his amore, she makes a scene, throwing the poor girl out of the house, calling her every name in the book, and firmly setting her rules that Billy is not to be with any woman. Yes, and it gets worse. Her attempts to make sure he stays are so determined that she begins to drug his milk so that he'll fail in basketball to the point where he could lose the offer for an athletic scholarship. It's absolutely horrifying. But at the same time, it's amazing how horror films (or any films for that matter) in this day and age don't even go near this type of subject matter. And this one stands out, believe me. But, what is the secret that aunt Cheryl is hiding in her basement that nobody can ever know about?

If you really think about it, the story is rather sick on most, if not all, levels but it is presented and executed quite well. Billy has to defend himself from the chief (who loves to use the term "fag" which, in this film, is used over twenty times in the span of three short minutes) and the school bully (Bill Paxton in one of his first film roles) and with everything that's going on, he has to deal with the antics of aunt Cheryl. So what is a teenaged boy in love supposed to do? Get to the bottom of things, snoop around the house, get the girlfriend to help out, and finally expose the truth for what it is: Aunt Cheryl really killed the gay Maytag Man because he didn't like her sexually (who would with her psychotic disposition?), that Aunt Cheryl isn't really his aunt, she's his mother (even I didn't see that coming), her boyfriend who mysteriously disappeared one day is actually down in the basement in the form of a rotting corpse with a candle-laden shrine made to his memory, and she wants an incestual relationship with the boy who made her life complete. Now that is one messed up film plot if I'd ever heard of one before. But it works here and that's what counts.

The film stands out from the majority of the horror films of the era. Though I'm not sure as to why it remains on the DPP Video Nasties list, as there isn't much gore in the film at all. Maybe it could be because of the really bizarre nature of the film and the issues and subject matter it tackles head-on. I've never seen a movie like this before and I don't think anyone would make a film like this in today's modern world. With it being out of print on VHS, DVD distributors Code Red have already included this on their coming soon list so hopefully, 2008 will finally see this one get it's proper treatment. I would love to see an interview with Susan Tyrell, or at least hear her on the commentary, just to see what her viewpoints on the film were then and now. This is arguably her best role, period. While this one, for me, was really hard to get a hold of, I don't suggest seeking this out on VHS. If you're curious, Code Red's DVD should be out soon, and all their releases so far have had reasonable price tage on them, so wait for this to come out. This is one film that will stay in your mind for a while and will have you talking about it days after you've seen it. Definitely one that didn't go mainstream, and for good reason.

Suspiria (1977)

2008-10-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

Take a good look at the tag line that reads on the top of the poster on the left. How can any horror fan resist a line like that? The first time I ever read that wonderful sentence, it was 1990. I was a sophomore in high school, in the library of South Texas High School for Health Professions, sitting next to Julio, a guy from my English class and reading the The Psychotronik Encyclopedia of Film. It was an odd entry in our library's roster, but there it was in front of me and I was reading about this film about a girl who attends a high school that's actually a front for a coven of witches and how it was one of the most terrifying films ever made. The film was summed up in less than five sentences and it would be five sentences that would change my life forever.

Three years later, I would lay eyes on a Laserdisc copy of this film at the local Hastings. That same year, I held the Magnum version VHS of this film for the first time at that same store. Reading the back of the box and staring at the picture of a young girl in a room surrounded by flowers on the walls, this was the film I itched to see, but couldn't rent. There was something about it that just pulled me to it, those promises of how terrifying it was and how I would never feel safe in the dark once I'd laid eyes on it. Little did I know what was about to invade my life.

In 1996 while living in California, I ran into that same Magnum VHS version at Adventure Video in Selma. Being over 21, I remember grabbing it and not even thinking twice about renting it. My cousin was with me at the time and he was a newbie at the whole horror thing and this was the perfect film to get him started. And in my own mind, I was thinking that this would be just another horror film. Wow, was I wrong.

This was the film that introduced me to director Dario Argento and the genre of film known as the Italian giallo. Horror fans everywhere know the premise to this film: An American ballet student, Susy Banyon (played by Jessica Harper) comes to the Tanz Akadamie to further her studies. She is welcomed at the school's front door by an unknown voice telling her to go away, just after a young girl flees from the school out into the raging storm outside. The girl ends up at an apartment building in the city with a friend and both are brutally murdered by an unknown assailant in a way can only be described as "breathtaking". This particular double murder is so powerful that even Entertainment Weekly had to give it props in a Halloween issue back in 2001. Susy returns to the school the next morning to be received by the creepy Miss Tanner (Alida Valli) and the school's vice-directress, Madame Blanc (Joan Bennett, in her final cinematic role) and what follows is one of the most unique and amazing horror films in the history of cinema. I won't get into all the details of the film because this is one of those films I consider "essential viewing" if you're a horror fan so I already assume that if you're reading this, you've seen it. And I'm assuming that you know that this was the first film in a proposed trilogy exploring "The Three Mothers": Mater Suspirioum - the mother of sighs (dealt with in this film), Mater Tenebraeum - the mother of darkness (dealt with in Inferno), and Mater Lacrymaum - the mother of tears (dealt with in Argento's recent film, La Terza Madre), which was finally completed just last year.

The film was a milestone for me. I had no idea that a horror film could be presented with such beauty to where it could be considered a work of art. Everything from set pieces to the use of vibrant color to the use of pulsating electronic music is combined here to give the viewer a one-of-a-kind experience. From the moment Susy is shown walking through the airport and the automatic doors open to let her through, you know that this isn't going to be your typical horror film. Argento's use of colors, his use of placement and camera angles all add to the mystery of the film itself. Look at everything from the color combinations in the airport to the blood red hue of the school itself, it all has a purpose in the film. He even uses colors for names of the different rooms the girls take their lessons in. The murder sequences are fantastic and so over the top that they seem surreal, almost dreamlike. They are presented with such force and such panache that you have no choice but to see them as brilliant, almost beautiful. Knives plunging through hearts, giant shards of glass piercing through human skin, barbed wire used as a torture tool, it's all handed to the viewer in a way never presented on screen before. And it all works. That's what Argento is known for and it's the legacy he's left behind to the world of horror and the macabre.

You can't watch an Argento film and expect it to make sense. Look at it this way: Think about the last nightmare you had. Think about how terrified you were. Did your surroundings make sense? Did things seem as they were in front of you? Did everything appear to sound coherent? That's how it is when you watch one of his films. You can't expect it to all match. You can't expect things to always make sense. You have to take bits and pieces and allow your mind to come to its own conclusion as you absorb every image and every sound. That's why many horror fans who don't think this film is everything it is feel the way they do. Some don't understand that a film presented in this fashion can't be viewed the way others are viewed. Especially with the ending when Susy escapes the burning academy. Look at her expressions as she pushes her hair back and smiles. It's like she awoke from a bad nightmare. She is calm. She is relieved. She is smiling because she's awake now and nothing can hurt her. Not any of the teachers, not even Helena Markos herself. You can't take Argento's work at face value. You have to look deeper within the film's layers to see just what the director is trying to portray. And that's the beauty of his films. They not make sense up front, but once you pull apart the various themes and elements, it begins to piece itself together.

This film cemented my love for Italian horror and it still remains my favorite sub-genre to this day. Argento is one of my favorite horror directors and I've almost been able to screen his entire catalogue. He's gone on to inspire and mentor so many other directors with his sense of style and direction and his films remain the favorites of millions. I also love the back story behind the conception of this film: Daria Nicolodi's grandmother told a story once of her fleeing a German academy of music because witchcraft was being practiced within its walls. On the Anchor Bay special 3-disc edition, you'll find her telling that story on the 25th anniversary interview disc. It's fantastic and is a must see for any fan of this film. This is a film that though she is given writing credit for, she does not appear in the film as a character (although she appears in the film's opening airport sequence for a brief moment). The film was originally intended to have young girls play the roles but when producers didn't allow it, adult actresses were cast. But notice how the dialogue between the girls in the film is almost child-like (i.e., when Olga teases Sara by saying, "I one heard that names that begin with "S" are the names of snakes!") and little things like the doorknobs on the doors being higher than normal still give off the illusion that the ladies are still playing the parts of young children. It's fascinating when you think about it. Especially to know that Argento used "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" as a model for the use of set and color.

If you're not a fan of the whole of Italian films, this still needs to be in your collection. I own the Magnum VHS version, the Quality Video re-release, the single-disc Anchor Bay edition, and the 3-disc Anchor Bay special edition. I have yet to stumble across the Laserdisc version (also by Magnum?) which is the holy grail for my ever-growing horror collection. If you see it or come across it, let me know. Nevertheless, this film is a remarkable piece of film making that has never been matched in the history of celluloid. Whether you love this film as I do, or you hate it, it still holds up, thirty one years later and packs the punch it did when it was first released. Each time I see it, it reminds me of why I love this genre the way I do and why I love the Italian films of the seventies and eighties.

Click here for the international trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB4u6qC_ORE. And click here for a cool drive in TV spot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdO_n-0oZVA&feature=related/ Below, enjoy the U.S. Trailer:

Nightmare (1982)

2008-10-09T17:33:00.000-07:00

Note to distributors of 80's horror films of the slasher Golden-age: If the film you're pushing has the tag lines "Not for the faint of heart", "Not suitable for children", or "There is no explicit sex in this picture. However, there are scenes of violence that may be considered shocking. No one under 17 should view this film", you can guarantee that I'll pick said movie and watch it at least once. For some reason, any movie pre-1990 that is tagged this way will force me to pick it up and take it home. Horror fans always fall for this trap, though, only to be disappointed at some lackluster gore with an inept plot to boot. This film, though, pushes the limits and actually lives up to the tag line emblazoned on the front of its VHS big box.

For years, I would see this title off and on at little mom and pop and small variety stores for rent and once I had the nerve to pick up and read the back of it. I can actually remember where I was the first time I got to hold this ditty in my hand: I was standing in the little video rental area at El Chaparral Supermarket in La Feria, Texas somewhere around the summer of 1988. Not to sound lame, but it was something of a spiritual moment for me. It was excited to hold something so prohibited, so censored, so tagged by small stickers as "Over 18 only" and "Restricted Viewing". It brought a rush to me that still, to this day, I can't explain. I could only hold it for a short while since my parents were only a mere few feet away and just looking at something of this bizarre nature would have me grounded in a mere blink of an eye. As a kid, it was something that I couldn't wait to be 18 for. But, it seemed so close and yet so far away.

I can remember how those still scared me to shreds and I remember telling myself that I would never watch the film due to how repulsed, yet still intrigued, I was. Little did I know the brewing history that was taking place in the United Kingdom regarding this title and how it is the only horror film, or mainstream film in general for that matter, to ever lead to the incarceration of an individual for its distribution. And all for sixty seconds of print, mind you.

During that same summer during our summer vacation to my grandmother's home in Mexico, I used to fumble with the newspaper that came out of Monterrey so I could look at the promo ads and movie listings just to see what was showing and which American films had crossed the border, getting the sub-title treatment and to laugh at the translation for films like C.H.U.D. and The Dorm That Dripped Blood. One day, while rummaging through a weekend edition, I spotted a rather large advert for this particular film which both shocked me and intrigued me. I saw those stills again and had to keep myself collected as I felt my stomach churn and the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. The ad was for a one night only showing of Pesadilla - as it was called in Mexico - and I can remember the many tag lines surrounding the ad stating that it was the "most violent movie you will ever see", that "only a deviant could have made this film", and that "no one under 17 will be allowed in the theater under any circumstances", which of course, sparked my curiosity even more. Even now, I think about what it must have been like to sit in a downtown Monterrey grindhouse watching George Tatum look on as a prostitute behind a glass window pleasured herself with a vibrator. Those sticky floors, those cinder block walls, the broken and creaky wooden seats, the smell of palomitas and cigarette smoke filling the auditorium. It's no wonder I pine for the good 'ol days.

It wasn't up until about seven months ago that I decided to actually seek out this piece of horror film history and chose ebay as my method of the hunt. I did find it, all right. But I couldn't afford the silly money that was being asked for this. I wondered about those people paying up to $66 for this movie in its original big box released by Continental and if they had actually seen the film itself or if they were like me, just seeking it out to finally be able to say I've seen it and I own it, too. After weeks and weeks of trying, I was able to win an auction put up from a guy in Manassas, GA and surprisingly only had to bay about $11, including shipping. The guy who sold this didn't have a picture of the tape on the auction so naturally, I was expecting to receive the big box version. I didn't. What I got was a gorgeous black matte clam shell emblazoned with a silver sticker that had the Continental logo and the film's title across it. I wondered to myself if the video store that originally carried the title refused to carry the original box art and Continental provided a "black box alternative"? Or was this an exclusive and limited edition packaging version? Trust me, my wheels were rolling.

I had already read enough about this film to know what to look for as far as what the R-rated version and uncut versions had to offer. I called my cousin over and almost two decades of curiosity and waiting, I was finally seated in front of this notorious "video nasty". Horror fans all know the story: George Tatum (Baird Stafford) is released from a psychiatric hospital on an experimental drug program even though he is still having nightmares and trouble coping with reality. He makes his way to a small suburban house in Florida. I know I said on this blog's introduction posting that you should expect spoilers galore since I'm assuming everyone has seen these films, but for this one, I don't want to spoil it for you.

And there would be lots to spoil. To my own joy, the version that reached my hands was indeed, uncut.

The plot, in reality, isn't all that great. The acting is particularly sub par. But is that why you would want to watch a film like this? The gore and scares here deliver with such a punch that you would never expect. Just the first three minutes of the film are disturbing enough to make me glad I ever ventured out to find this and it will stay in your head for days. The clever and original murder sequences are spectacular and are done with such loving detail that you almost forget that it's all make up and prosthetics. And you almost wonder if the special effects were really done by Tom Savini. If you don't know the story behind that I'll make it short: Tom Savini is credited in the opening moments of the film as being responsible for the effects, but he was only a pre-production consultant. The effects themselves rival Savini's in many aspects so it's no surprise people mistook him for being the one behind all the blood and guts. The final flashback has got to be seen to be believed. It will leave you with your face on the floor and will make you wonder why horror films aren't made in this fashion anymore, when everything was thrown out the window and attention was placed on horrifying the viewer. Make no mistake, this film is not for the squeamish at all. This is one that has had its reputation precede itself throughout the years and there's good reason for it.

There is a twist at the film's end and as cheesy and as pointless as it really is, it's only because there's no reasoning behind it, in my opinion. It is never explained as to why it happens and there's no denouement afterward to have it all make sense the way it should. But with a film like this, you have to pull all reasoning aside and take it all at face value. You could easily compare this to William Lustig's Maniac as this film could be considered a study into the mind of a homicidal maniac, but I can't put it into that sort of classification. Tatum's character isn't explored enough to be able to say you're looking into the mind of a cold-blooded killer. The film itself doesn't give enough history behind George himself to be able to truly grasp any sort of real feeling or contempt for him. You see what he's going through on screen but since most of it isn't really explained until the final act of the film, there's no connection to him as the viewer. You really don't feel sorry for him, even though I tried during his brief New York 42nd street scene, live sex shows and all. When the film comes to a close, there isn't enough explained as to why George went on his killing spree and why George went back to that house in Florida. Even with the main reason being explained in flashback form at the film's close, there is still no concrete reason as to what all that had to do with George going back to haunt his family. There are many unanswered questions that leave you pondering and you wonder if the filmmakers did it that way on purpose so you'd have something to think about and discuss as you walked out of the cinema. The film itself screams sleaze and low budget perversion, but the good thing is that it screams loudly. The set pieces and shots scream kitsch in the same loud volume along with the shag rugs and late seventies room decor. You actually feel that's the close of the disco-era.

If you're a die hard 80's horror fan, this film needs to be on your 'must-see' list. Whatever you need to do to get this one into your collection, do it. It lives up to the hype and controversy that have surrounded it since it's premiere. While I'm against paying silly money for it on a place like ebay, get it if you can find it at a decent price. I know that DVD distributors Code Red are already in the works to give this one the proper treatment within the next few months which, hopefully, will be chock full of extras and interviews. Now, the question for you is, was this film worth the incarceration of the head of UK video distributor Oppidan Video just for selling the uncut version? Aren't you glad that we live in the U.S. where censorship isn't the big deal that it is in other countries? Even in the 80's we never saw the banning of horror films, no matter how explicit they were. Sure, most of them were cut and trimmed until they remained as trim as turkey carcasses on the Thanksgiving dinner table, but never did we see outright banning. Even atrocities like Cannibal Ferox and Cannibal Holocaust. see the light of day in makeshift grindhouses all over the country in midnight screenings to this day.

It's surprising how something as low budget and sleazy can actually stand side-by-side with the more popular and well known horror films of that time period and can still, at some points, beat them by a long shot. It still remains as one of the most bizarre film I've ever seen. Seek this movie out at all costs. You won't believe it until you see it.

Here is the trailer, only because I know after reading this review, you're dying to know a little more about the film. I love the end where the announcer states, "No one under 17 will be admitted." Trust me, there's a reason why he's saying it!

Cannibal Ferox (1981)

2008-10-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

In every genre of film, there are those that aficionados would consider to be essential viewing. Whether it be because of superb acting and/or directing or sound and engineering, some films are considered superior to their similar counterparts mostly because of word of mouth. Back in the late seventies and early eighties, the cannibal sub-genre of horror was a huge hit all over the world and some of the most memorable films in horror history belong to that sub-class. I, myself, still have not yet found a palpable taste for these films, but Cannibal Ferox is one of those exceptions I had to make, just because of the controversy surrounding it, still after all these years.

Promoted as being banned in 31 countries, the film was released under the original title, Make Them Die Slowly. Since I began my hunt for the movies on my "must have" list, slowly, but surely, this one climbed it's way closer and closer to the top and after several years of searching for either a copy on VHS or DVD - for not wanting to resort to the high prices of mail order - I gave up. I have read countless reviews of this film and have delved into many opinions from critics and every-day viewers like myself and the more that I read, the more my own curiosity grew. Being the huge fan of Italian giallo and gore, I knew that sometime I would have to give in and take a look at this, only to finally know what the hullabaloo was all about. Could this film really push the limits to the degree that people said it had?

Back in the summer of 2004, I was vacationing in Dallas, Texas for my birthday and as I cruised Cedar Springs with some of my closest friends and browsing through Tape Lenders, I noticed the community bulletin board, wanting to know what was going on that weekend. From a distance, I saw an 11"X17" mini-poster with what I thought were the words "Make Them Die Slowly" across the front. I ran over to it and to my own school-boy glee, it was indeed a poster advertising the exclusive one-night showing of the film at the Angelika Film Center. And it just so happened that exact night was the night of its exhibition. After hours of trying to convince everyone to go and see this with me, I was immediately shot down and wasn't able to see this in all its wide-screen glory. Sure, it would have been a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Sure, I would have been able to brag that I'd seen it on the big screen and surrounded by fans of the film, but fate had other plans for me that weekend and still, to this day, I regret not having pushed harder to convince the group.

Then one day four years later, I walked into the local Video Liquidators in Fresno - where I have been lucky enough to have found some great finds - and lo and behold, this was sitting atop the back of the registers, propped up and smiling at me. I couldn't resist. I paid the (hefty) price tag - hey, after searching for this film for a good number of years, I wasn't going to walk away from it with the DVD being right there - and walked out of the store, practically squealing.

That night, I called my brother over and we sat down in front of it. The Grindhouse Releasing copy I'd purchase had a fantastic easter egg of a showing of the film at the Vine in Hollywood. I watched and thought about the night I could have seen this in Dallas and as my heart raced, I dove into the film first and didn't look back.

The introduction to this film has got to be one of the best in horror history: The disco-tinged opening track and the shots of New York City were just fantastic. Somewhere, some die-hard horror fan has this opening track as an MP3 in their iPod and jams to it every day while jogging or mowing the lawn and I can tell you right now that if I could get that awesome track into my collection, I'd probably end up doing the same thing. Listening and grooving to the track got me even more excited. And this is where the story takes a different turn.

Every horror fan knows the synopsis of this film: Gloria (Lorraine de Selle of The House on the Edge of the Park) ventures into the jumbles of the Amazon to write her college thesis on whether or not cannibalism still exists in the modern world. She takes along her friend Pat and brother Rudy and while in the jungle, they come across cocaine-wielding thugs Joe (Robert Kerman) and Mike (Italo-horror veteran Giovanni Lombardo Radice). Joe has been hurt and as the story unfolds of how Mike has brutally castrated and murdered one of the members of the local tribe, so did my boredom. Nobody seemed to mention that there's more story than gore - most of it doesn't begin until almost half-way into the film itself. I will make a note here that one things that did bother me about this movie was the portrayal of actual animal deaths. I was shocked more by this than the actual human murders that came to follow later on.. I had read somewhere that Cannibal Holocaust is guilty of the same atrocity, but I never read that Ferox had them, also.

I will say that once the gore begins, it begins. There's plenty of originality to some of the death scenes, but I was actually expecting to be appalled to the point of nausea and perhaps vomiting. But, that wasn't the case for me. Sure, some of the scenes were over the top and unexpected but nothing that I would consider worth losing my food over. So many reviews I've read about how atrocious and how reprehensible some of the latter scenes in the film are but I have to say that I didn't really find myself running for the bathroom. The scene where Joe is taken out to the middle of the village and is sliced open by the natives was impressive, though. Some of the scenes actually confused me: when the tribe turns on the group and they tie Mike to the tree to castrate him, it looks like they're slicing a piece of ham for a sandwich. I didn't believe it at all. Now, the castration scene in I Spit On Your Grave? That's a castration. There was no blood here, period. Wouldn't have mike bled to death? But I digress. His death by machete to the head was probably the best gore scene of the whole film.

The only one to escape in the end is poor Gloria, only to return to New York to receive her doctoral degree. I like how for a brief moment in the film, she utters a political statement in which she feels that outside society has kept the tribes people as the cannibals that they are. I sat and pondered on that for a while when the film came to a close and though the statement could be somewhat true, it should have been explored more in the film itself. The whole revenge of the tribe on Mike and the group as a retribution for the murder of one of their own is understandable and actually, I was expecting the film to go in that direction eventually.

Now, to call this film "The most violent film ever", in my opinion, is a bit of a long shot. At the time of this writing, I have yet to see Cannibal Holocaust which is supposed to blow this movie right out of the water. Whether or not I will sit and view that particular film is being decided, only because of my naivety of the cannibal genre as a whole. I have seen films more violent on both the sadistic and artistic levels and though these scenes are brutal in their own right, the final murders of the group can hold their own. If you aren't a stranger to this short-lived sub-genre, and you haven't seen this one, make sure you get a hold of it. I've only seen less than a handful of cannibal films and sadly, they do nothing for me. Give me stalk and slash any day.

Even if you're not a fan of this type of film, it will stay with you long after you see it. It's earned its place in horror history and for good reason. I will compare the experience of viewing this to my experience of seeing The Exorcist when I was in my mid-twenties: If I had seen this movie as a young kid, it would have scarred me for life. I can only imagine what people back in the early eighties felt as they packed grindhouses and little theatres to catch a glimpse of atrocities that had never been shown on the big screen before. Knowing me, I probably would have run for the men's room at some point after having downed a hot dog and a Pepsi. But even seeing it for the first time in my thirties, it was an experience I won't soon forget.

Here is the trailer - it's pretty dark, but it does the job.